(no subject)
for those curious, i decided to "go with God".
though Christians may think "duh", when you're not used to God saying something without confirming it through other people or circumstances, its a big leap. not only do you have to trust God, but you have to trust that you can hear God. yes, there's the whole "trusting God to talk to you in a way you can understand and obey" but evidently He's changing that way without my permission.
bottomline, though: though i want security and money, an apartment and car, a place for my cats, my own room and stuff, and for my life to start already, more than anything, i want whatever it is that God has for me. if He didn't have this, okay. He must have something else. if its just more of what i have now, one day (maybe when we get those crowns) my decision will pay off.
He showed me that if i can't make a decision that goes against normal logic now, how will i be able to trust Him later? if i want the kind of life i want, then i should at the very least start now. it looks like fear of commitment and indecisiveness to some people, and, while those are issues of mine, that's not the case now. i just want whatever path He has. so what about the rest. i've had it before. lots of people have it. i want something different, something distinctly Him.
that's all. i'm tired and sore today. an ultimate tournament when not in shape is not a good idea. must get in shape...
though Christians may think "duh", when you're not used to God saying something without confirming it through other people or circumstances, its a big leap. not only do you have to trust God, but you have to trust that you can hear God. yes, there's the whole "trusting God to talk to you in a way you can understand and obey" but evidently He's changing that way without my permission.
bottomline, though: though i want security and money, an apartment and car, a place for my cats, my own room and stuff, and for my life to start already, more than anything, i want whatever it is that God has for me. if He didn't have this, okay. He must have something else. if its just more of what i have now, one day (maybe when we get those crowns) my decision will pay off.
He showed me that if i can't make a decision that goes against normal logic now, how will i be able to trust Him later? if i want the kind of life i want, then i should at the very least start now. it looks like fear of commitment and indecisiveness to some people, and, while those are issues of mine, that's not the case now. i just want whatever path He has. so what about the rest. i've had it before. lots of people have it. i want something different, something distinctly Him.
that's all. i'm tired and sore today. an ultimate tournament when not in shape is not a good idea. must get in shape...