PMS
it really brings out my emotions.
i've been so sad and weird all day
but i've always been sad
and always hated myself
and always hated my judgement
but i've jsut gone with it anyways
i've made alot of mistakes
that i cant take back
i just have to live with them
but i still want to redeem myself
i .. dont know if i'll ever know who i am..
or wat to be
to make everyone i love happy..
but i try..
but.. lately.. iunno
i just miss my friends soo much sometimes.
things have changed soo much from last yr and it really breaks my heart
but then i have to ignore it and get on with my hw and schoolwork and keep on pushing on and get through it
but i dont want to ignore it anymore
i dont want to just be with corey
i love him and he is now a good friend
but he's not like amber
he's not danielle
he's not megan or morgan or agata
he's just not a girl and cant always understand where i'm coming from..
thats not all of it tho
i just .. miss them
i miss who i am with them
fuck. i just miss it all
..
i guess its growing up?
i dont know..
wow..
im really sweating like a pig.
my brain and feelings are just so out of wack..
i dont know what to do anymore.
i just... want my friends back..
i just want to go back to last yr when we all used to chill every weekend... no matter what.. we really haveplans w/ anyone else..
*sigh*
amber, megan, morgan and danielle ... you guys really kept me going... you really were the BEST part of my grade 10 yr..
i remember thinking that to myself.. how much i loved you guys and how you really kept me alive last yr.. we had so much fun and were so weeird ..
you're everything
everything
no matter what.. you guys will always be #1 and my everything..
i hope you know that..
.. .
& if you didnt..
NOW YOU DO
..
and honestly.. i'm a LIIIITLE drunk.. off.. of,.. Canadian Club wiskey..
pms is a bitch and i thought i'd ease the pain with some whiskey but it's only made me so much more emotional
but
as wise amber once said
a drunk man's word is a sober man's thought!