Life is good.
Some times when I look in the mirror it appears that I am losing weight, (considering I've been working out at least three times a week and eating better). And some times it's like, "Geeze, I'm still fat." It really all depends on how I feel in general. I keep telling myself to be realistic..... my body fat is not going to melt away and it is definitely going to take a while to get "there."
It seems like it wasn't this hard before. Mentally: I push myself, and despite the fact that my weight constantly fluctuates and that some clothes fit the same (while others are getting loose) I still feel determined. I just can't give up and can't let those thoughts enter into my head. Physically: The weight seems to be coming off slower than it used to and my guess is that the way my liver suffered for a few months last year (from the mono) is that food will never metabolize the same as before.
But this may not be a statement of accuracy, maybe this is just how it "seems". Every time one loses or gains weight it never goes or comes off in the same way it did or looked before. At least in my case. I don't mind being curvey I just want to be defined and tightened.... and somewhat toned, eventually. More importantly I want to be healthy and become more active. That seems like the best way to live.
All in all I've set a lot of structure for myself. It's all mind, body, and soul right now. Now that I've stopped drinking so often I see better things coming my way. Being in the downtown scene really clouds the mind and usually brings unhealthy things into your life. Now I'm not perfect or anything and maybe I'll get back into that scene one day, but right now I'm enjoying being away from it. I see that some of my friendships with people have been friendships through all the drinking. Much like drugs brings people together, so does alcohol, heh.
I like being this focused and determined without distraction.
It seems like it wasn't this hard before. Mentally: I push myself, and despite the fact that my weight constantly fluctuates and that some clothes fit the same (while others are getting loose) I still feel determined. I just can't give up and can't let those thoughts enter into my head. Physically: The weight seems to be coming off slower than it used to and my guess is that the way my liver suffered for a few months last year (from the mono) is that food will never metabolize the same as before.
But this may not be a statement of accuracy, maybe this is just how it "seems". Every time one loses or gains weight it never goes or comes off in the same way it did or looked before. At least in my case. I don't mind being curvey I just want to be defined and tightened.... and somewhat toned, eventually. More importantly I want to be healthy and become more active. That seems like the best way to live.
All in all I've set a lot of structure for myself. It's all mind, body, and soul right now. Now that I've stopped drinking so often I see better things coming my way. Being in the downtown scene really clouds the mind and usually brings unhealthy things into your life. Now I'm not perfect or anything and maybe I'll get back into that scene one day, but right now I'm enjoying being away from it. I see that some of my friendships with people have been friendships through all the drinking. Much like drugs brings people together, so does alcohol, heh.
I like being this focused and determined without distraction.