(no subject)
Title: All I Ever Wanted (Chapter 5 of Words Like Violence)
Author: zozo42
Characters: Bonnie and Damon .
Rating: PG 13+ (slight swearing)
Timeline: Post 1.22. About 6 months into a Bonnie/Damon relationship.
Summary: It's written kind of like a snapshot into a Bamon relationship and it's basically a Bamon story gone wrong. What if Damon can't be the guy we (and Bonnie) want him to be for her? Angsty but whatever. Now multi-chapter
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Chapter 5: All I Ever Wanted
He was pulled over to the side of the road, parked on the shoulder against a line of trees. He was using sleep as an escape from the anguish he felt when he was conscious. The anguish his nifty little vampire 'feelings-off' button failed to silence.
But he'd underestimated the power of dreams.
"I don't want to become a vampire," she told him.
"Why not?"
"I just…the blood..." She shuddered.
"Then what are we doing here Bonnie?" he asked, throwing his hands up in the air. "If I'm not going to end up turning you, what's the point?"
"We're happy! That's the point, right here, right now, we're happy. Can't we just stay that way?" she asked pleadingly.
"No. We can't," he replied shortly. "Time doesn't stop, trust me, I know that better than anyone. What am I supposed to do when you're gone?"
"Move on," she suggested half-heartedly. "Find someone else, go back to tormenting Stefan."
He looked at her in disbelief, walking away from her and pouring himself a drink at the bar. "That's your solution then? I can just 'find someone else'. Well how about I just find someone else now, why wait? Maybe she'll let me turn her."
Bonnie's face fell, she opened her mouth to protest but he continued, cutting her off.
"I can't, Bonnie, and I won't be able to later either. There is no one else."
"But-"
"I'll follow you," he proclaims, and at first she thinks he's joking, being melodramatic. It is Damon after all, he is prone to exaggeration. But then she becomes horrified as he continues.
"I'll take off my ring and walk into the sunlight."
"You can't! Stefan won't let you," she said with conviction.
Damon chuckled darkly, draining his glass. "What makes you think he'll be able to stop me?"
"I'll tell him. I'll tell him what you're going to do."
"And I'll tell him I don't want to live without you, that I can't, that 200 years is enough."
"No! You can't, you-"
"Why the hell not?" he yelled.
He woke with a start, starting to roll over before he remembered he was in the front seat of his car. He groaned, he hated it, why did he have to keep remembering these things, dreaming of them even? All these times they spent together, even the fights they'd had. It was punishment for something he hadn't even done. The rest of the memory came back to him as he stepped out of the car, moving through the trees until he could no longer see the road.
"Why the hell not?" he yelled
She faltered, he knew she didn't have a response so he continued.
"Why do you get to leave? Why do you get to die? What does it matter to you anyway?" he asked, voice turning quiet, now more hurt than angry as the realisation dawned that she didn't want to spend forever with him. When Damon Salvatore loved, he went all out. "You won't be around."
"I want more than death for you," she told him, holding back tears.
"And I want more than death for you," he replied. "Please." And in that one word he tried to make her see that her death would be more than just the ceasing of her existence. It'd break something inside of him, something Katherine hadn't even come close to.
"Okay." She already knew she'd give her life for him, what was the difference if she let him take it? Now that he'd found her, he needed her forever.
The rest of the memory was better, marginally, she'd made an unspoken promise to stay with him forever, just as he had promised to make that possible, when she was ready. Neither promise would be fulfilled now.
He slammed his fist into a tree, needing to relieve some of his frustration. The tree was uprooted slightly, now leaning against its fellows. He stared up into the canopy before he turned with a snarl, letting his true vampiric features show through, and picked up a large rock, hurling it at another tree a few meters away. He enjoyed the resonating CRACK as the rock broke cleanly through the trunk.
He heard his cell ringing and felt his face shift back before he trudged back to the car, just in case it was his witch calling.
It wasn't. Stefan's name and picture appeared and he ignored the call.
An array of people called him that day, Stefan, Elena, even the teacher's name popped up on his caller ID, but he ignored them all. Except when her name appeared, even though part of him knew it was just Elena using her phone.
***
Elena stood out on the back porch whispering angrily into the phone. "Damon, if you won't tell us where you are, at least tell us when you're coming home."
"That place isn't home to me anymore."
"Why? Because of Bonnie? What about your brother?"
He flinched at the sound of her name, glad no one could see him as he drove along the deserted road. "Stefan and I have the rest of eternity to spend together, he can survive without me for the next 50 years." He hung up on her again.
"What about me?" Elena whispered into the dead line."He won't tell me," she said, returning to Stefan, closing Bonnie's phone and putting it back in her pocket.
"And Bonnie's not saying anything either. I really wonder what he did," Stefan mused.
"How do you know he did something?"
"He's my brother. Only he could find a way to fuck up the best thing that ever happened to him."
"He's gonna be okay, they both are," Elena tried to reassure him, but both of them could hear the uncertainty in her voice.
"I hope so, I just want to know where he is."
"He only answers when he thinks it might be her. And as soon as he knows it's not he hangs up, I'm surprised I got more than two words out of him this time."
"When Damon doesn't want to talk…he won't talk."
"I'm worried about him," Elena confesses. "I mean, here we can see Bonnie, we know how upset she is, but Damon, we have no idea where he is, what he's doing, how he's feeling."
"I know, I'm worried too. But he can look after himself."
"Until he does something stupid."
Author: zozo42
Characters: Bonnie and Damon .
Rating: PG 13+ (slight swearing)
Timeline: Post 1.22. About 6 months into a Bonnie/Damon relationship.
Summary: It's written kind of like a snapshot into a Bamon relationship and it's basically a Bamon story gone wrong. What if Damon can't be the guy we (and Bonnie) want him to be for her? Angsty but whatever. Now multi-chapter
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Chapter 5: All I Ever Wanted
He was pulled over to the side of the road, parked on the shoulder against a line of trees. He was using sleep as an escape from the anguish he felt when he was conscious. The anguish his nifty little vampire 'feelings-off' button failed to silence.
But he'd underestimated the power of dreams.
"I don't want to become a vampire," she told him.
"Why not?"
"I just…the blood..." She shuddered.
"Then what are we doing here Bonnie?" he asked, throwing his hands up in the air. "If I'm not going to end up turning you, what's the point?"
"We're happy! That's the point, right here, right now, we're happy. Can't we just stay that way?" she asked pleadingly.
"No. We can't," he replied shortly. "Time doesn't stop, trust me, I know that better than anyone. What am I supposed to do when you're gone?"
"Move on," she suggested half-heartedly. "Find someone else, go back to tormenting Stefan."
He looked at her in disbelief, walking away from her and pouring himself a drink at the bar. "That's your solution then? I can just 'find someone else'. Well how about I just find someone else now, why wait? Maybe she'll let me turn her."
Bonnie's face fell, she opened her mouth to protest but he continued, cutting her off.
"I can't, Bonnie, and I won't be able to later either. There is no one else."
"But-"
"I'll follow you," he proclaims, and at first she thinks he's joking, being melodramatic. It is Damon after all, he is prone to exaggeration. But then she becomes horrified as he continues.
"I'll take off my ring and walk into the sunlight."
"You can't! Stefan won't let you," she said with conviction.
Damon chuckled darkly, draining his glass. "What makes you think he'll be able to stop me?"
"I'll tell him. I'll tell him what you're going to do."
"And I'll tell him I don't want to live without you, that I can't, that 200 years is enough."
"No! You can't, you-"
"Why the hell not?" he yelled.
He woke with a start, starting to roll over before he remembered he was in the front seat of his car. He groaned, he hated it, why did he have to keep remembering these things, dreaming of them even? All these times they spent together, even the fights they'd had. It was punishment for something he hadn't even done. The rest of the memory came back to him as he stepped out of the car, moving through the trees until he could no longer see the road.
"Why the hell not?" he yelled
She faltered, he knew she didn't have a response so he continued.
"Why do you get to leave? Why do you get to die? What does it matter to you anyway?" he asked, voice turning quiet, now more hurt than angry as the realisation dawned that she didn't want to spend forever with him. When Damon Salvatore loved, he went all out. "You won't be around."
"I want more than death for you," she told him, holding back tears.
"And I want more than death for you," he replied. "Please." And in that one word he tried to make her see that her death would be more than just the ceasing of her existence. It'd break something inside of him, something Katherine hadn't even come close to.
"Okay." She already knew she'd give her life for him, what was the difference if she let him take it? Now that he'd found her, he needed her forever.
The rest of the memory was better, marginally, she'd made an unspoken promise to stay with him forever, just as he had promised to make that possible, when she was ready. Neither promise would be fulfilled now.
He slammed his fist into a tree, needing to relieve some of his frustration. The tree was uprooted slightly, now leaning against its fellows. He stared up into the canopy before he turned with a snarl, letting his true vampiric features show through, and picked up a large rock, hurling it at another tree a few meters away. He enjoyed the resonating CRACK as the rock broke cleanly through the trunk.
He heard his cell ringing and felt his face shift back before he trudged back to the car, just in case it was his witch calling.
It wasn't. Stefan's name and picture appeared and he ignored the call.
An array of people called him that day, Stefan, Elena, even the teacher's name popped up on his caller ID, but he ignored them all. Except when her name appeared, even though part of him knew it was just Elena using her phone.
***
Elena stood out on the back porch whispering angrily into the phone. "Damon, if you won't tell us where you are, at least tell us when you're coming home."
"That place isn't home to me anymore."
"Why? Because of Bonnie? What about your brother?"
He flinched at the sound of her name, glad no one could see him as he drove along the deserted road. "Stefan and I have the rest of eternity to spend together, he can survive without me for the next 50 years." He hung up on her again.
"What about me?" Elena whispered into the dead line."He won't tell me," she said, returning to Stefan, closing Bonnie's phone and putting it back in her pocket.
"And Bonnie's not saying anything either. I really wonder what he did," Stefan mused.
"How do you know he did something?"
"He's my brother. Only he could find a way to fuck up the best thing that ever happened to him."
"He's gonna be okay, they both are," Elena tried to reassure him, but both of them could hear the uncertainty in her voice.
"I hope so, I just want to know where he is."
"He only answers when he thinks it might be her. And as soon as he knows it's not he hangs up, I'm surprised I got more than two words out of him this time."
"When Damon doesn't want to talk…he won't talk."
"I'm worried about him," Elena confesses. "I mean, here we can see Bonnie, we know how upset she is, but Damon, we have no idea where he is, what he's doing, how he's feeling."
"I know, I'm worried too. But he can look after himself."
"Until he does something stupid."