not all exercise is healthy
It looks like we'll be squeaking by February afterall. At least, so far - typically this month inchworms to Spring Break, only exacerbated by the current economy. But astonishingly enough the daily doldrums of consumer frugality are punctuated with some spending, which is more than I expected.
Talking to S, she obliquely informed me that she'd prefer it if we stay to April. I can't seem to get through to her the longer I stay, the poorer I become. I have a rent-free place in FL, so alleviating the diminishment of my savings that way, the entirety of my seven years of effort up here, would be a boon. Instead it becomes squandered while I wait - I'm working to lose less money.
This does afford me the time to drudge on a few problems. The tangible ones at least, and the closer April gets the more I can obviate any logistical issues. Until then, just like most aspects of my life, I try hard to discern the messes I've made through a barely transparent scrim of suggestion and confusion. I tend to over-analyze anything left to interpretation, and this has the unfortunate side effect of rendering me catatonically useless - my brain, even while tossing in semiconscious torpor, has the infuriating effect of abortively grasping at obscured suggestions. This leaves me with the sense that there's always more I could be doing, not just with the business, but can't seem to render palpable. Life is anything but a solvable equation, because that I could handle. So, time to solve is good. I've never ran from a problem. Yet.
Crow, bless her, has attempted finding another job. At an animal hospital - which we both agreed would be perfect for her. Unfortunately the position filled before I and the shelter folks could dazzle them into hiring her. Oh well, no big deal, their loss mostly. She's doing what she can and that helps immeasurably - I just hope I'm doing/can do the same for her. She is, at this point, the only coherent part of my universe worth not hitching a truck-ride into the wilderness for, leaving all behind.
On the brighter side - going to see an all-female Led Zeppelin cover band this week which should be a ho00tnanny, and Tyva Kyzy next Sunday. Been awhile since I've seen a show, and will serve to hopefully loosen me up a bit.
Talking to S, she obliquely informed me that she'd prefer it if we stay to April. I can't seem to get through to her the longer I stay, the poorer I become. I have a rent-free place in FL, so alleviating the diminishment of my savings that way, the entirety of my seven years of effort up here, would be a boon. Instead it becomes squandered while I wait - I'm working to lose less money.
This does afford me the time to drudge on a few problems. The tangible ones at least, and the closer April gets the more I can obviate any logistical issues. Until then, just like most aspects of my life, I try hard to discern the messes I've made through a barely transparent scrim of suggestion and confusion. I tend to over-analyze anything left to interpretation, and this has the unfortunate side effect of rendering me catatonically useless - my brain, even while tossing in semiconscious torpor, has the infuriating effect of abortively grasping at obscured suggestions. This leaves me with the sense that there's always more I could be doing, not just with the business, but can't seem to render palpable. Life is anything but a solvable equation, because that I could handle. So, time to solve is good. I've never ran from a problem. Yet.
Crow, bless her, has attempted finding another job. At an animal hospital - which we both agreed would be perfect for her. Unfortunately the position filled before I and the shelter folks could dazzle them into hiring her. Oh well, no big deal, their loss mostly. She's doing what she can and that helps immeasurably - I just hope I'm doing/can do the same for her. She is, at this point, the only coherent part of my universe worth not hitching a truck-ride into the wilderness for, leaving all behind.
On the brighter side - going to see an all-female Led Zeppelin cover band this week which should be a ho00tnanny, and Tyva Kyzy next Sunday. Been awhile since I've seen a show, and will serve to hopefully loosen me up a bit.