trash stalker
Yeah so yeah, crow and I had a run in at midnight with a bear while tripping all Suspiria-like on the unusually warm wind and errant lit windows, walking down our dark street for no other reason than our autonomous legs. It wasn't a huge bear, we weren't scared, but in the chill night of the moment it dawned on me that bears tend to veil themselves in the cover of mountain forests and shit, not peering at us through white picket fences. Ohoho, I smell desperation, better keep our distance. He kept to the veins between houses and alleys during our trek, but was there along with us the whole time, lumbering to the rhythm of our insane giggles as he would disappear into the inky shadows of a house or church and respond with a loud, plasticy crash as another trash bin met its toothy-demise. As the garbage can marching band followed us around the block and all the way back, part of us felt a connection to him as the little fucker vandalized his way to all the condos and second-homes.
I hope he gets the food he needs for a nice fitful hibernation, which is a skill I need apprenticeship in even if it involves sacking random dumpsters. Unlikely this union between civilization and woody vandal can last, though - sooner or later some moron gaper is going to ignore the distances, try putting his little daughter on its back for a photo-op, and subsequently have his ego wounded. Nice knowin' ya, bear.
OK, it's pancake day so I'm off making mutant pancakes.
I hope he gets the food he needs for a nice fitful hibernation, which is a skill I need apprenticeship in even if it involves sacking random dumpsters. Unlikely this union between civilization and woody vandal can last, though - sooner or later some moron gaper is going to ignore the distances, try putting his little daughter on its back for a photo-op, and subsequently have his ego wounded. Nice knowin' ya, bear.
OK, it's pancake day so I'm off making mutant pancakes.