Crashing from Hyper
Soooooo, it's Friday morning, I just woke up and I'm pretty much feeling hungover - slight headache, mild nausea, and my usual added symptom of post-drinking-depression.
Only trouble is, I didn't drink any alcohol at all last night.
I suppose this is what has to happen after weeks of constantly trying to be busy with something, anything; weeks of not nearly getting enough sleep, weeks of desperately trying to cram as much life into one day as one can.
Now, as I seem to be slowly coming to, there's evidence of the chaos in my head all around.
My room is a mess. Okay, it usually is, but this is way beyond normal, this is a catastrophe.
The rest of the apartment pretty much is, too, despite the fact that Yvonne actually cleaned up when she was here again.
The cancellation notice for our apartment is lying on my desk, on top of a stack of random paper, and I still haven't signed it yet. That would mean that I actually had to _face_ the consequences; it would mean that I actually did what I did. I can't do that yet. I just can't.
What is _really_ bad, however, is looking back at the last couple of weeks.
I didn't do anything for my university classes, but that isn't that bad - I can catch up again.
But I have generally been acting in stupid, superficial, childish ways; I have done a lot of petty, unfair and highly inappropriate things, and I'm sure that I have changed what people think of me generally for the worse, as well as alienated friends with my behavior.
And while the former just makes me want to hide somewhere and/or slap myself, the latter is what really worries me ....
Only trouble is, I didn't drink any alcohol at all last night.
I suppose this is what has to happen after weeks of constantly trying to be busy with something, anything; weeks of not nearly getting enough sleep, weeks of desperately trying to cram as much life into one day as one can.
Now, as I seem to be slowly coming to, there's evidence of the chaos in my head all around.
My room is a mess. Okay, it usually is, but this is way beyond normal, this is a catastrophe.
The rest of the apartment pretty much is, too, despite the fact that Yvonne actually cleaned up when she was here again.
The cancellation notice for our apartment is lying on my desk, on top of a stack of random paper, and I still haven't signed it yet. That would mean that I actually had to _face_ the consequences; it would mean that I actually did what I did. I can't do that yet. I just can't.
What is _really_ bad, however, is looking back at the last couple of weeks.
I didn't do anything for my university classes, but that isn't that bad - I can catch up again.
But I have generally been acting in stupid, superficial, childish ways; I have done a lot of petty, unfair and highly inappropriate things, and I'm sure that I have changed what people think of me generally for the worse, as well as alienated friends with my behavior.
And while the former just makes me want to hide somewhere and/or slap myself, the latter is what really worries me ....