(no subject)
Well gee just got TOTAL validation for the emotional walls. Little history and then to the pain....
Since I moved to St. Louis since my divorce 8+ years ago, my father has been to visit me zero times. I get cards with money, and apparently my stepbrothers and sisters get all the visits they want out of state or out of town.
The last time he had a serious health crisis I specifically told him and my bitch stepmother to never tell me 3 weeks after the fact.
Cut to 5 minutes ago and checked my email from this evening, not only did they come to town, they came they went to hospital for tests and sent me an email from home?
It's a very clinical email, it's very, very hurtful, I don't even rate a phone call? I made the choice 6 years ago with my therapist to have this relationship with my dad. Estranged. But to be slapped in the face with your father's first visit to St. Louis and not even rate a phone call. Wow! Especially in a health situation. Just totally unbelievable.
Walls = Justified
I do not, will not ever understand this insensitivity. It's also the number one reason I will never have children. I know I can be selfish, but I don't ever want to be responsible for making a child feel this way. Talk about feeling insignificant. Not the first time and let me tell you pulling away, putting up walls doesn't keep it from hurting any less. I don't need this mother fucking validation.
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