Family Problems
I have only talked to Ginger about this so far but I feel like I need to put this down in writing somewhere so here it goes. If you do not want to read about a large amount of family issues then do not read the cut. Fair warning.
Last year my stepdad went in to a doctor for various reasons but mainly that we was very short of breath. He smokes a lot, over a pack per day, so it was no suprise when the doctor told us he had emphysema. This on top of the fact that earlier last year he had to start taking insulin for diabetes and this on top of high blood pressure. The doctors did several tests on him during this time and found cancer growing in his chest around his aorta. At that time the growth was about half the size of a man's fist.
It is now that you must realize that of all the things in the world this is the worst thing that the doctors could have told my dad. It is the one thing that I know of that scares him out of his wits. He sees cancer as the most horrible way to die, he may be right, but he thinks this because of what it does to the people around you. Basically the people that care about the person with cancer can do nothing to help while they watch a person they love waste away. In my father's eyes this is the same as watching a time-lapse film of a decaying body. Each frame of film is slightly more gruesome than the last until nothing is left. For him, this becomes worse when doctors start cutting on a cancer patient, feeding them chemicals, or exposing them to radiation all of which increase the visible changes to the patient.
That is just how my father sees things and helps to explain why my father refuses to have any type of 'cancer' treatment. The doctors give him drugs to treat the symptoms but nothing that directly attacks the cancer. Since that diagnosis my father has been treated for other complications due to diabetes even going so far as to have his penis cut open to remove built up crystals. (this is another story entirely) But not a single time has he allowed a doctor to treat his cancer. He is very much a head in the sand kind of person about this and thinks that it will just get worse and escalate if messed with.
So last week my mother went to her general practitioner for a check-up and he insisted on her getting a mammogram. My mom is 61 and has had mammograms done regularly for a few years now. This time however they found a spot. She went in on Monday and had a biopsy done and it is cancer. She is having surgery tomorrow to have it removed. The doctor does not yet know if she is going to be able to keep her breast. My mom told the doctor that she would like to keep her breast if possible but that if need be to remove it. The doctor told her at the minimum they would perform a lumpectomy and remove her lymph nodes but that they would not know for certain how much tissue would need to be removed until they had her cut open.
Needless to say my father did not take this well. In fact he told my mom that "I cannot stay here and watch you die". On Tuesday my mom and dad went to see a counselor and by Tuesday night my dad seemed to be dealing with it better. Yesterday things turned sour and my dad told my mom he was going to Wyoming to stay with his brother. He told her he loved her, kissed her, and got into his car and left.
I did not find this out until this morning when I was awakened by a phone call telling me that somewhere on the other side of St. Louis during the night my dad hit a guard rail and totaled his car. He is now in St. Anthony's hospital in St. Louis being treated. I do not yet know what the extent of his injuries are except that at a minimum he has several fractured vertebrae. My sister is waiting on a call back from his doctors to let us know what is going on.
On top of that I just got a message from my mother about my dad. "Debbie and Barbie and his family are going to take care of him. I am not able. I am very hurt by him leaving me when I needed him the most after all I have done for him. He thinks more of them and of himself than he does me so he needs to be with them. I am not going to take him back. He will have to go with them." Debbie and Barbie are my dad's daughters, my stepsisters.
The only 'good' news is that I know my mom is going to be taken care of. Fay, one of her sisters, is going to stay with her as long as she needs her. Mrs. Ray, a neighbor, is a home health nurse and has agreed to help anyway she can. Eva, another one of my mom's sisters, lives two doors down and is going to carry my mom to her treatments after the surgery. My mom is taken care of and has told me and my sister to go on with our jobs and our lives. I intend to go on with my life but I will be making many more trips to Fulton than I do now.
As far as I know the costume part is still on for Saturday but we will not be doing Sci-Fi Friday..
Last year my stepdad went in to a doctor for various reasons but mainly that we was very short of breath. He smokes a lot, over a pack per day, so it was no suprise when the doctor told us he had emphysema. This on top of the fact that earlier last year he had to start taking insulin for diabetes and this on top of high blood pressure. The doctors did several tests on him during this time and found cancer growing in his chest around his aorta. At that time the growth was about half the size of a man's fist.
It is now that you must realize that of all the things in the world this is the worst thing that the doctors could have told my dad. It is the one thing that I know of that scares him out of his wits. He sees cancer as the most horrible way to die, he may be right, but he thinks this because of what it does to the people around you. Basically the people that care about the person with cancer can do nothing to help while they watch a person they love waste away. In my father's eyes this is the same as watching a time-lapse film of a decaying body. Each frame of film is slightly more gruesome than the last until nothing is left. For him, this becomes worse when doctors start cutting on a cancer patient, feeding them chemicals, or exposing them to radiation all of which increase the visible changes to the patient.
That is just how my father sees things and helps to explain why my father refuses to have any type of 'cancer' treatment. The doctors give him drugs to treat the symptoms but nothing that directly attacks the cancer. Since that diagnosis my father has been treated for other complications due to diabetes even going so far as to have his penis cut open to remove built up crystals. (this is another story entirely) But not a single time has he allowed a doctor to treat his cancer. He is very much a head in the sand kind of person about this and thinks that it will just get worse and escalate if messed with.
So last week my mother went to her general practitioner for a check-up and he insisted on her getting a mammogram. My mom is 61 and has had mammograms done regularly for a few years now. This time however they found a spot. She went in on Monday and had a biopsy done and it is cancer. She is having surgery tomorrow to have it removed. The doctor does not yet know if she is going to be able to keep her breast. My mom told the doctor that she would like to keep her breast if possible but that if need be to remove it. The doctor told her at the minimum they would perform a lumpectomy and remove her lymph nodes but that they would not know for certain how much tissue would need to be removed until they had her cut open.
Needless to say my father did not take this well. In fact he told my mom that "I cannot stay here and watch you die". On Tuesday my mom and dad went to see a counselor and by Tuesday night my dad seemed to be dealing with it better. Yesterday things turned sour and my dad told my mom he was going to Wyoming to stay with his brother. He told her he loved her, kissed her, and got into his car and left.
I did not find this out until this morning when I was awakened by a phone call telling me that somewhere on the other side of St. Louis during the night my dad hit a guard rail and totaled his car. He is now in St. Anthony's hospital in St. Louis being treated. I do not yet know what the extent of his injuries are except that at a minimum he has several fractured vertebrae. My sister is waiting on a call back from his doctors to let us know what is going on.
On top of that I just got a message from my mother about my dad. "Debbie and Barbie and his family are going to take care of him. I am not able. I am very hurt by him leaving me when I needed him the most after all I have done for him. He thinks more of them and of himself than he does me so he needs to be with them. I am not going to take him back. He will have to go with them." Debbie and Barbie are my dad's daughters, my stepsisters.
The only 'good' news is that I know my mom is going to be taken care of. Fay, one of her sisters, is going to stay with her as long as she needs her. Mrs. Ray, a neighbor, is a home health nurse and has agreed to help anyway she can. Eva, another one of my mom's sisters, lives two doors down and is going to carry my mom to her treatments after the surgery. My mom is taken care of and has told me and my sister to go on with our jobs and our lives. I intend to go on with my life but I will be making many more trips to Fulton than I do now.
As far as I know the costume part is still on for Saturday but we will not be doing Sci-Fi Friday..