Stargate: Quest for the Ark of Truth (Or: Stargate: No, seriously, where the frak is it?)
(Note: Entry contains no actual discussion of Stargate SG-1 AoT)
(I'm back in California once again. While I have many things to tell about a great-minus-the-illness visit in Austin, I promised my sister that I would first tell the tale of the epic lengths we went to in order to achieve Stargateness.)
Once upon a time, a great synergy in the universe made it so that the University of Texas at Austin held its spring break in the same week that the first Stargate DVD movie was to be released. And it came to pass that plans were made, flights were scheduled, and DVDs were pre-ordered such that this most singular (or double) of events could be experienced together in the great state of Texas.
The feasting and festivities leading up to that most anticipated day were grand and glorious, but are a tale for another time. For lo, the day itself was shadowed. The universe bit its thumb at us, and bit it most joyfully, conspiring a score of obstacles to prevent any other plans from being fulfilled or the partaking of any other amusements - nay, though we were able to divine that others had already achieved what we so desired to share.
We waited and watched, guessed and checked, went out and came back, but no treasure arrived by post. Time was of the essence, with a return flight the next afternoon, and so we sallied forth on silver steed to the wilds of Ye Olde Best Buy. Alas! The masses had preceded us, no doubt much earlier in the day. Onward we went, across the lane to Targetland ...where we were again foiled.
This trend was becoming most loathsome, but we were granted hope that the following morning would bring new shipments from afar, and our quest could be satisfied. We retired for an evening of HoYay and singing, with every intention of rising at first waking to win the day at Target.
The reader shall note that "first waking" meant whenever we awoke first, not any silly alarm setting or dawn-rising business.
By nine o'clock, we were waking, and by nine-twenty, we had set off once more on our journey. Unhappy day! Target was still bereft of all valued treasure. Nay, not only was this branch's shelf empty, but we learned that no Target within Austin had any copies left at all!
But lo! There was a chance that maybe - just maybe - a Target in fair Round Rock of the North had a single, solitary copy of that which we sought. Being at least a twenty minute journey away, we took down their information but made the presumably wiser decision to investigate again Ye Olde Best Buy. As it wasn't yet open, we conquered the smaller demon of quaking hunger with a stop at yon Fountain of Starbucks. And yet we need not have bothered, for "Best" Buy remained as empty as we had left it the previous evening.
And so it came to pass that we ventured out of the city and into the suburban hinterlands on a quest for a DVD for which we had already paid to have delivered straight to our doorstep. We had help in our struggle from the not one, not two, but three Targetland employees that were required on a single phone call to discover whether or not the single DVD of legend still remained in the store, and to place it on hold pending our arrival.
At last we located our, ahem, target, not thirty seconds behind another vehicle whose driver bore no small resemblance to Comic Book Guy (I fool you not). We left no chance of being thwarted by this last and greatest enemy - we hightailed it into the store, walking as quickly as was decent not running to the promised land, whereupon, at last, we achieved glory and valor all that we sought.
Exeunt, and as they say, all's well that ends well.
(I'm back in California once again. While I have many things to tell about a great-minus-the-illness visit in Austin, I promised my sister that I would first tell the tale of the epic lengths we went to in order to achieve Stargateness.)
Once upon a time, a great synergy in the universe made it so that the University of Texas at Austin held its spring break in the same week that the first Stargate DVD movie was to be released. And it came to pass that plans were made, flights were scheduled, and DVDs were pre-ordered such that this most singular (or double) of events could be experienced together in the great state of Texas.
The feasting and festivities leading up to that most anticipated day were grand and glorious, but are a tale for another time. For lo, the day itself was shadowed. The universe bit its thumb at us, and bit it most joyfully, conspiring a score of obstacles to prevent any other plans from being fulfilled or the partaking of any other amusements - nay, though we were able to divine that others had already achieved what we so desired to share.
We waited and watched, guessed and checked, went out and came back, but no treasure arrived by post. Time was of the essence, with a return flight the next afternoon, and so we sallied forth on silver steed to the wilds of Ye Olde Best Buy. Alas! The masses had preceded us, no doubt much earlier in the day. Onward we went, across the lane to Targetland ...where we were again foiled.
This trend was becoming most loathsome, but we were granted hope that the following morning would bring new shipments from afar, and our quest could be satisfied. We retired for an evening of HoYay and singing, with every intention of rising at first waking to win the day at Target.
The reader shall note that "first waking" meant whenever we awoke first, not any silly alarm setting or dawn-rising business.
By nine o'clock, we were waking, and by nine-twenty, we had set off once more on our journey. Unhappy day! Target was still bereft of all valued treasure. Nay, not only was this branch's shelf empty, but we learned that no Target within Austin had any copies left at all!
But lo! There was a chance that maybe - just maybe - a Target in fair Round Rock of the North had a single, solitary copy of that which we sought. Being at least a twenty minute journey away, we took down their information but made the presumably wiser decision to investigate again Ye Olde Best Buy. As it wasn't yet open, we conquered the smaller demon of quaking hunger with a stop at yon Fountain of Starbucks. And yet we need not have bothered, for "Best" Buy remained as empty as we had left it the previous evening.
And so it came to pass that we ventured out of the city and into the suburban hinterlands on a quest for a DVD for which we had already paid to have delivered straight to our doorstep. We had help in our struggle from the not one, not two, but three Targetland employees that were required on a single phone call to discover whether or not the single DVD of legend still remained in the store, and to place it on hold pending our arrival.
At last we located our, ahem, target, not thirty seconds behind another vehicle whose driver bore no small resemblance to Comic Book Guy (I fool you not). We left no chance of being thwarted by this last and greatest enemy - we hightailed it into the store, walking as quickly as was decent not running to the promised land, whereupon, at last, we achieved glory and valor all that we sought.
Exeunt, and as they say, all's well that ends well.