[FIC] Voicing It Out [Drabble]
Title: Voicing It Out
Pairings: YunJae (with little Yunho involvement)
Length: somewhat long....(does this consider as an oxymoron?)
Author: zorata
Rating: PG
Genre: angst
Summary: Jaejoong has a beautiful voice, but he never uses it to voice out his problems.
Part of the 'Body Drabbles':
[1] Hand
[2] Voice box
Makes more sense to read the Hearts Drabbles first:
[1] Strong Hearts
[2] Explanation for Using My Heart
[3] Free Falling Heart
[4] Paper Hearts
[prequel] Getting to Know Your Heart
--------------------------
"Jaejoong-hyung...I still can't understand why you are sitting in your bedroom on a weekend."
"hmmm..."
"If you are not going to study anyway, why don't you just go out?"
"...umm..."
"You know, go out, watch a movie, go shopping..."
"...ngh..."
"You aren't listening to me are you hyung?"
"hmmm..."
"JAEJOONG-HYUNG!"
Jaejoong woke from his stupor at the yell. "Min! What was that for?!"
Changmin glared at him. "For not paying attention to a helpful friend."
Jaejoong sighed. "I'm sorry Min. I just have a lot on my mind right now."
Changmin paused for a few seconds to figure out what was wrong. "Is it about...that phone call you just got?"
Jaejoong sighed again. Changmin was too observant for his own good. He debated whether to tell him about it, and in the end decided that telling someone might help. "Yes. It was my parents. They were checking on me again."
Changmin frowned in concentration, trying to figure out the underlining meaning. "Well, I know they didn't care about your school things much before, but even so, you've got nothing to hide right?"
"The truth is, I did lie."
Changmin's eyes widened in surprised. Why would Jaejoong do that? Jaejoong answered his unasked question.
"I barely passed two of my courses and failed one of them."
"No...way..." Changmin couldn't believe it. He thought Jaejoong was great at his studies. "You never told me..."
Jaejoong just shook his head. "I really didn't want to lie to them, but you know with the whole Junsu issue, they sudden got such high expectation for me. They really don't want me to be like him."
Changmin got up from his chair to sit beside Jaejoong on the bed. "First of all, Junsu-hyung changing from business major to music major doesn't mean he was doing bad at school. Secondly, just because you made a few mistakes doesn't mean you'll get kicked out of university. It's not the end of the road."
Jaejoong took a deep breath as to prepare to retort, but instead decided against it. He would never win an argument against Changmin anyway. "Thanks Min..."
Even though Changmin could sense Jaejoong's lingering frustrations, he let it slide. "You're welcome. Actually, the reason I'm here today is to get you to do something."
"Do what?"
Changmin grinned mischievously. "To phone Yunho-hyung."
Jaejoong groaned. "Oh Min, don't remind me of him right now. I have enough things to worry about."
"Oh, so your boyfriend's not on the top of your list?"
"W-what?!" Jaejoong stared at Changmin in shock. "H-how did...you...?"
"Of course I knew."
Jaejoong wanted to inquire further, but knowing Changmin, he wouldn't understand the explanation anyway. "Okay, whatever. I'm still not phoning him."
"Why not? Do you know how dead Yunho had been this past week? Comparing your depression state with his, he's probably at suicidal right now!"
Jaejoong eyed Changmin skeptically. "But...but I don't know what to say..."
"Don't worry. He'll probably jump for joy at a simple 'hello'. Just ask him how he's doing, you know, the usual."
Jaejoong shifted uncomfortably on bed, unable to find another excuse. Changmin took the opportunity to shove the cordless phone into Jaejoong's hand.
"Look, you make that phone call, and I'll be outside watching TV. When I'm done, you better have made that call, alright?"
With that, Jaejoong was left all alone in his small bedroom, trapped with the cordless phone in his hand.
---
Fifteen minutes later, instead of conversational murmur, Changmin heard a strangled cry from Jaejoong's bedroom.
He immediately dashed towards the room and smashed the door open.
He was petrified to see Jaejoong limp body motionless on the ground, still gripping the unused phone.
---
Changmin almost died of impatience when the doctor finally walked out.
"Doctor! How is he?! Is it okay?!"
"Don't worry, your friend's fine now."
However, Changmin was still not well assured. "What happened to him? Why did he faint like that?!"
The doctor paused. "Is there a family member I can speak with?"
Fortunately at that very moment, Junsu arrived, rather breathlessly. "Ch-changmin! Is..is Jaejoong-hyung alright...?!"
The doctor frowned at Junsu. "Are you Kim Jaejoong's family?"
"Y-yes...I'm his...cousin..."
The doctor smiled, glad to finally speak to the right person. "Your cousin's fine, don't worry. He fainted because his body shut down after a panic attack. His body also showed signs of exhaustion and malnutrition. Do you know if he had panic attacks before?"
Junsu frowned at the unexpected news. "I...I don't know...I don't think so..."
"Do you know if he had experienced any traumatic events, or if he's extremely afraid of anything?"
At Junsu's silence, Changmin answered instead. "Doctor, would it be helpful for you to know that I was forcing him to phone someone he really didn't want to phone right before he fainted?"
"Was he having some relationship problems?"
"Yes...and also school problems. He's been really down these past few weeks and just didn't seem like himself."
The doctor nodded and wrote some more notes down on his clipboard. "Thank you for the information. Kim Jaejoong can go home as soon as he wakes up, but I do suggest that he goes to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible."
"What? Why?" Junsu asked. "What's wrong with him?"
"I believe he has a major case of depression and anxiety."
The doctor walked away, leaving Junsu and Changmin speechless. They were both shocked at the severity, but the unprepared Junsu was even more so.
"Stupid, stupid Jaejoong!" Junsu kicked the wall next to them. "What school problems?! What relationship problems?! How come I don't know anything?!"
"Junsu-hyung...I only found out a little from him today too...It's not your fault..."
Junsu couldn't hold back his tears any longer. "Of course it's not! It's all stupid Jaejoong's fault! Why doesn't he ever tell anyone anything?! Stupid guy with his stupidly beautiful voice! Why doesn't he ever voice out his problems?!"
Changmin watched helplessly as Junsu broke down in front of him.
Yes, Jaejoong. Why don't you ever use your voice?
--------------------------
A/N: As promised, updates. Hopefully I didn't confuse you all too much with Junsu here. And if you are wondering why Yunho's not here, it's because it's crucial to the story. He'll find out soon enough.
And yea, Jae's got more problems ahead. Woot, problems.
Thank you for reading!
Pairings: YunJae (with little Yunho involvement)
Length: somewhat long....(does this consider as an oxymoron?)
Author: zorata
Rating: PG
Genre: angst
Summary: Jaejoong has a beautiful voice, but he never uses it to voice out his problems.
Part of the 'Body Drabbles':
[1] Hand
[2] Voice box
Makes more sense to read the Hearts Drabbles first:
[1] Strong Hearts
[2] Explanation for Using My Heart
[3] Free Falling Heart
[4] Paper Hearts
[prequel] Getting to Know Your Heart
--------------------------
"Jaejoong-hyung...I still can't understand why you are sitting in your bedroom on a weekend."
"hmmm..."
"If you are not going to study anyway, why don't you just go out?"
"...umm..."
"You know, go out, watch a movie, go shopping..."
"...ngh..."
"You aren't listening to me are you hyung?"
"hmmm..."
"JAEJOONG-HYUNG!"
Jaejoong woke from his stupor at the yell. "Min! What was that for?!"
Changmin glared at him. "For not paying attention to a helpful friend."
Jaejoong sighed. "I'm sorry Min. I just have a lot on my mind right now."
Changmin paused for a few seconds to figure out what was wrong. "Is it about...that phone call you just got?"
Jaejoong sighed again. Changmin was too observant for his own good. He debated whether to tell him about it, and in the end decided that telling someone might help. "Yes. It was my parents. They were checking on me again."
Changmin frowned in concentration, trying to figure out the underlining meaning. "Well, I know they didn't care about your school things much before, but even so, you've got nothing to hide right?"
"The truth is, I did lie."
Changmin's eyes widened in surprised. Why would Jaejoong do that? Jaejoong answered his unasked question.
"I barely passed two of my courses and failed one of them."
"No...way..." Changmin couldn't believe it. He thought Jaejoong was great at his studies. "You never told me..."
Jaejoong just shook his head. "I really didn't want to lie to them, but you know with the whole Junsu issue, they sudden got such high expectation for me. They really don't want me to be like him."
Changmin got up from his chair to sit beside Jaejoong on the bed. "First of all, Junsu-hyung changing from business major to music major doesn't mean he was doing bad at school. Secondly, just because you made a few mistakes doesn't mean you'll get kicked out of university. It's not the end of the road."
Jaejoong took a deep breath as to prepare to retort, but instead decided against it. He would never win an argument against Changmin anyway. "Thanks Min..."
Even though Changmin could sense Jaejoong's lingering frustrations, he let it slide. "You're welcome. Actually, the reason I'm here today is to get you to do something."
"Do what?"
Changmin grinned mischievously. "To phone Yunho-hyung."
Jaejoong groaned. "Oh Min, don't remind me of him right now. I have enough things to worry about."
"Oh, so your boyfriend's not on the top of your list?"
"W-what?!" Jaejoong stared at Changmin in shock. "H-how did...you...?"
"Of course I knew."
Jaejoong wanted to inquire further, but knowing Changmin, he wouldn't understand the explanation anyway. "Okay, whatever. I'm still not phoning him."
"Why not? Do you know how dead Yunho had been this past week? Comparing your depression state with his, he's probably at suicidal right now!"
Jaejoong eyed Changmin skeptically. "But...but I don't know what to say..."
"Don't worry. He'll probably jump for joy at a simple 'hello'. Just ask him how he's doing, you know, the usual."
Jaejoong shifted uncomfortably on bed, unable to find another excuse. Changmin took the opportunity to shove the cordless phone into Jaejoong's hand.
"Look, you make that phone call, and I'll be outside watching TV. When I'm done, you better have made that call, alright?"
With that, Jaejoong was left all alone in his small bedroom, trapped with the cordless phone in his hand.
---
Fifteen minutes later, instead of conversational murmur, Changmin heard a strangled cry from Jaejoong's bedroom.
He immediately dashed towards the room and smashed the door open.
He was petrified to see Jaejoong limp body motionless on the ground, still gripping the unused phone.
---
Changmin almost died of impatience when the doctor finally walked out.
"Doctor! How is he?! Is it okay?!"
"Don't worry, your friend's fine now."
However, Changmin was still not well assured. "What happened to him? Why did he faint like that?!"
The doctor paused. "Is there a family member I can speak with?"
Fortunately at that very moment, Junsu arrived, rather breathlessly. "Ch-changmin! Is..is Jaejoong-hyung alright...?!"
The doctor frowned at Junsu. "Are you Kim Jaejoong's family?"
"Y-yes...I'm his...cousin..."
The doctor smiled, glad to finally speak to the right person. "Your cousin's fine, don't worry. He fainted because his body shut down after a panic attack. His body also showed signs of exhaustion and malnutrition. Do you know if he had panic attacks before?"
Junsu frowned at the unexpected news. "I...I don't know...I don't think so..."
"Do you know if he had experienced any traumatic events, or if he's extremely afraid of anything?"
At Junsu's silence, Changmin answered instead. "Doctor, would it be helpful for you to know that I was forcing him to phone someone he really didn't want to phone right before he fainted?"
"Was he having some relationship problems?"
"Yes...and also school problems. He's been really down these past few weeks and just didn't seem like himself."
The doctor nodded and wrote some more notes down on his clipboard. "Thank you for the information. Kim Jaejoong can go home as soon as he wakes up, but I do suggest that he goes to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible."
"What? Why?" Junsu asked. "What's wrong with him?"
"I believe he has a major case of depression and anxiety."
The doctor walked away, leaving Junsu and Changmin speechless. They were both shocked at the severity, but the unprepared Junsu was even more so.
"Stupid, stupid Jaejoong!" Junsu kicked the wall next to them. "What school problems?! What relationship problems?! How come I don't know anything?!"
"Junsu-hyung...I only found out a little from him today too...It's not your fault..."
Junsu couldn't hold back his tears any longer. "Of course it's not! It's all stupid Jaejoong's fault! Why doesn't he ever tell anyone anything?! Stupid guy with his stupidly beautiful voice! Why doesn't he ever voice out his problems?!"
Changmin watched helplessly as Junsu broke down in front of him.
Yes, Jaejoong. Why don't you ever use your voice?
--------------------------
A/N: As promised, updates. Hopefully I didn't confuse you all too much with Junsu here. And if you are wondering why Yunho's not here, it's because it's crucial to the story. He'll find out soon enough.
And yea, Jae's got more problems ahead. Woot, problems.
Thank you for reading!