6 Big Fat Miracles of 2008
My year was brutal, to be honest. Absolutely soul-scrapingly rough. But in the end here are six major breakthroughs that never would have happened if I did not live right here, right now and right as I can:
1. My Little Yellow House in the Hoody of the Weird has not yet outstripped my skills as a homeowner (pause here to knock on wood. Did you? Okay, proceed). I came into this whole homeowner thing with a serious fear that I was not adult enough to own my own home and that the Universe would hold up that mirror to my face by, say, having the roof cave in, the house flood or all matter of completely unaffordable but completely logical forms of torture. Hasn't happened, for one. And for two I now am all responsible enough to have money in the bank in case it does. Who's a grown-up. Um, me? (Knock on wood again here, please.)
2. The Kid's Social Security was approved first try. I thank my education in Social Security benefits via the poverty law clinic I did my law skool thang in. I did write a fabulous application, y'all. This adds an amount yearly that is not huge, but is seriously life-changing for a mama who can budget and be thrifty.
3. Remember that letter I sent to the student loan people? Well I also sent it to the collection agency that my loans went to when the loan people decided that I CAN pay 700$ a month on what I make. Either pity or pragmatism won the day, because after I sent in the letter published here, my loans were mysteriously returned to the original lender, placed in deferral and they did not even cash the check I sent them as a good faith payment. I do not know how that happened but it, in all seriousness, saved my fucking ass.
Corporate Greed: 0
Brutal Honesty/Appeals to Humanity: 1
4. And this is HUGE. I can sleep alone in a house by myself. It rarely happens due to Kidness and Ash still hanging here when needed/so we can both see X, but I seriously thought this would be one of those side effects of a shitty childhood that would never change.
Want to feel like a failure as a grown-up and a hot mess of neuroses at the same time? Try staying up all night listening to the house settle because you are 37 years old and have never been able to sleep alone. Makes a girl feel like a total dependent wuss. But it is no longer true (unless I watch some true crime thing before bed, yo).
I would like to thank my dog, my lack of decent television reception and my steadfast refusal to read/consume any rape media.
5. My job loves me. And I love it. Who would have known that all this life experience would make me a fucking radical (as my ex-client used to say - Oh honey, you don't even know how radical) addiction counselor. I get to help women keep their kids, people. My job is always a win/win. How many people get to say that? Not many. (Yes, even when I call CPS and the kids are taken, even then.)
6. I have been single for about 8 months. And it rocks. Like, single-single. No dates, no crushes, no contenders. I used to never be alone, and now I crave solitude. I am way cooler than I ever thought. Next project - casual dating. Like for real. Maybe in a month or so I will feel inspired by keryx's ambitious journey and set out as well. Until then, bring on the quiet thinkytime.
After some retrospective shoe-gazing I can honestly say this was one of those life-changing years.
1. My Little Yellow House in the Hoody of the Weird has not yet outstripped my skills as a homeowner (pause here to knock on wood. Did you? Okay, proceed). I came into this whole homeowner thing with a serious fear that I was not adult enough to own my own home and that the Universe would hold up that mirror to my face by, say, having the roof cave in, the house flood or all matter of completely unaffordable but completely logical forms of torture. Hasn't happened, for one. And for two I now am all responsible enough to have money in the bank in case it does. Who's a grown-up. Um, me? (Knock on wood again here, please.)
2. The Kid's Social Security was approved first try. I thank my education in Social Security benefits via the poverty law clinic I did my law skool thang in. I did write a fabulous application, y'all. This adds an amount yearly that is not huge, but is seriously life-changing for a mama who can budget and be thrifty.
3. Remember that letter I sent to the student loan people? Well I also sent it to the collection agency that my loans went to when the loan people decided that I CAN pay 700$ a month on what I make. Either pity or pragmatism won the day, because after I sent in the letter published here, my loans were mysteriously returned to the original lender, placed in deferral and they did not even cash the check I sent them as a good faith payment. I do not know how that happened but it, in all seriousness, saved my fucking ass.
Corporate Greed: 0
Brutal Honesty/Appeals to Humanity: 1
4. And this is HUGE. I can sleep alone in a house by myself. It rarely happens due to Kidness and Ash still hanging here when needed/so we can both see X, but I seriously thought this would be one of those side effects of a shitty childhood that would never change.
Want to feel like a failure as a grown-up and a hot mess of neuroses at the same time? Try staying up all night listening to the house settle because you are 37 years old and have never been able to sleep alone. Makes a girl feel like a total dependent wuss. But it is no longer true (unless I watch some true crime thing before bed, yo).
I would like to thank my dog, my lack of decent television reception and my steadfast refusal to read/consume any rape media.
5. My job loves me. And I love it. Who would have known that all this life experience would make me a fucking radical (as my ex-client used to say - Oh honey, you don't even know how radical) addiction counselor. I get to help women keep their kids, people. My job is always a win/win. How many people get to say that? Not many. (Yes, even when I call CPS and the kids are taken, even then.)
6. I have been single for about 8 months. And it rocks. Like, single-single. No dates, no crushes, no contenders. I used to never be alone, and now I crave solitude. I am way cooler than I ever thought. Next project - casual dating. Like for real. Maybe in a month or so I will feel inspired by keryx's ambitious journey and set out as well. Until then, bring on the quiet thinkytime.
After some retrospective shoe-gazing I can honestly say this was one of those life-changing years.