Pandemic ramblings of August 2021
There seems to be a pull every full moon to write. I’m not sure if you feel it too. There’s an energy I can’t deny and it keeps me up at nights and gives me energy during the day.
It’s been a little over a month since I was unwell and had to visit hospital so they could stop my bleeding. I lost 1.4 litres of blood in a day so I was admitted - the total lost over 3 days was 2.4 litres of blood - I lost the equivalent of 80 period cycles as one cycle over a usual person’s 5-7 days is 30 mls (i.e 6.6 years worth of bleeding...in 3 days). If there was a gold medal for bleeding, I am pretty sure I would be in contention to win it. Oh and a human body has about 5 litres of blood. So yay losing half my body’s worth. I’d like to think that if there was some doomsday apocalyptic thing that would happen and I had a limb chopped off, I’d still manage to survive it. Maybe? I mean, I’ve been in training.
I had an iron transfusion and the nurses were absolute legends. One nurse was calling out to the other while setting up as I arrived early. She asked what else she needed to set up. I jokingly asked for a coffee and they laughed, then they brought it for me! I also treated myself that day to a truffle burger and an amazing mocha from Maison Coffee.
I have a HyCoSy coming up - basically they put a camera up inside - there is so much joy to be had when they stick hard metal up your fallopian tubes. This time it will be different. I previously had it and they forgot to tell me to take pain killers beforehand. Let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience. The nurse and doctor exclaimed how well I was taking it. Me in a white gown, legs spread while the camera is performing a search and rescue effort clenching my teeth and trying to breathe through the pain. This time, I am having the drugs beforehand.
This pandemic has been a lot. I live in the Fairfield LGA (local government area) and being single is a hard thing. I do see my neighbour and exchange some brief discussion on the fruit trees in our shared yard and I chat to my chiropractor, but it isn’t the same. I am spending time with friends going for walks along the lake and that has been a saving grace. I am cooking a lot. The 5km restriction is hard going. My good friend lives 9.4km away and she came over the first night the singles bubble was announced. The numbers went up and then it was locked down to 5 kms. There is also just 12 LGAs that are affected because we are in the naughty corner.
I am trying to remind myself that I choose to be home, to be safe and that this is my safe haven. It helps, but it doesn’t always work. Some days I just miss my people. I miss hugs. I miss affection. This is the part that makes my heart ache. My single life was filled with the love of family and friends and I was ok with that. I had quality time with people that mattered and also ate in some amazing places. There are moments that I am in a rut and I am bored of what I cook and the monotony of having to feed myself daily. I am so used to spending time with family - my parents or my sister and eating out once a week if I am lucky and now it’s like…what it’s a meal time again? Tell me I’m not the only one. Though that said, I have only had takeaway now 3 times. There is an increase in spending.
In my pie in the sky dreams, some things I am also planning - re-mortgaging my home to a clean bank loan so my money isn’t been used for reasons leading to climate change. Then get a bit extra for a battery for my solar and a bigger fridge / freezer so I can ditch the older ones in my house and condensing consumption and get double glazing for my house. So may an extra $25,000 on my loan? I think the long term gains would be worth it for a more sustainable house. I am currently reading a book on it by Michael Mobbs so will get more inspiration (and probably spend more money). Maybe after that I might think of an electric vehicle as well in the coming years seeing as my current car turns 15 like my niece…hey my car can now legally work at McDonalds and start earning a wage.
Work has been slow but steady. You know, there are less people putting in claims when they don’t have to deal with other people face to face. Sure they might be stressed home schooling their own kids and managing a home learning environment but the actual psychological claims under workers compensation have been very minimal. Luckily I get along well with the key people I remain close to and I still manage to get a couple of referrals while the timing isn’t great. Though overall, I do love that I get to help people but it’s quite hard sometimes when emotionally I am not all with it either or I am sick. My compassion and empathy can only be taken so far.
I was introduced to someone recently and it all started over Instagram and - oh you have similar photos, you should meet. And that’s where it all happened. So far, its all very PC for now. I have liked and commented on a few photos, he’s liked my photos. There’s been some chat dialogue. Though real conversation. An actual paragraph, which is quite different from most people I have come across, especially males (females are far more talkative on chat). So far, we have arranged to go for an afternoon stroll. He’s quite religious, so we shall see how it goes.
Ok what I have gathered so far. 34, male, Anglican. Engineer but currently not employed. Was working for the NSW Transport. Vegetarian. Drives. Lives alone in Fairfield. Likes photography, taking walks and Japanese things - can speak Japanese. Curly hair (this was something my friend mentioned). Likes Taylor Swift and Disney, especially Mulan. This is what has been gleaned so far from socials.
So we shall see. I have some feelings I thought were long gone. But there’s a renewed excitement that I had not thought about in such a long time. I’ve mentioned it to Cit. It was hard but it needed to be done. I felt so guilty even feeling something for someone else.
When I asked “fancy going for a walk together sometime?” then I waited. And waited. And he messaged back, apparently he was feeling grumpy that night and logged off and responded by midday the next day. A part of me was dying inside. Fighting the anxiety that was telling me that he wasn’t interested, that I was being creepy or too over the top (typical SLL style) or just plain not interested. Luckily he wasn’t - just a long period off social media.
A walking meet up has been organised. I’ve checked the NSW health website and we can still exercise in pairs from households that are not the same. His comment was that it seemed “increasingly illegal” lol.
Maybe this can just be a nice platonic friendship. We can watch Disney, I’ll cook him vego meals (hey, I am getting pretty good and the Ottenlenghi recipes) and the Taylor Swift specials hey? Because if he’s super crunchy, I don’t think he will be a sex before marriage kind of person…or would he? I can’t say that is what I am after, I just want some companionship - I want hugs, a meal and someone to watch tv with right now. Maybe I just need a room mate? (Scrap that, I like living alone)
It’s been a little over a month since I was unwell and had to visit hospital so they could stop my bleeding. I lost 1.4 litres of blood in a day so I was admitted - the total lost over 3 days was 2.4 litres of blood - I lost the equivalent of 80 period cycles as one cycle over a usual person’s 5-7 days is 30 mls (i.e 6.6 years worth of bleeding...in 3 days). If there was a gold medal for bleeding, I am pretty sure I would be in contention to win it. Oh and a human body has about 5 litres of blood. So yay losing half my body’s worth. I’d like to think that if there was some doomsday apocalyptic thing that would happen and I had a limb chopped off, I’d still manage to survive it. Maybe? I mean, I’ve been in training.
I had an iron transfusion and the nurses were absolute legends. One nurse was calling out to the other while setting up as I arrived early. She asked what else she needed to set up. I jokingly asked for a coffee and they laughed, then they brought it for me! I also treated myself that day to a truffle burger and an amazing mocha from Maison Coffee.
I have a HyCoSy coming up - basically they put a camera up inside - there is so much joy to be had when they stick hard metal up your fallopian tubes. This time it will be different. I previously had it and they forgot to tell me to take pain killers beforehand. Let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience. The nurse and doctor exclaimed how well I was taking it. Me in a white gown, legs spread while the camera is performing a search and rescue effort clenching my teeth and trying to breathe through the pain. This time, I am having the drugs beforehand.
This pandemic has been a lot. I live in the Fairfield LGA (local government area) and being single is a hard thing. I do see my neighbour and exchange some brief discussion on the fruit trees in our shared yard and I chat to my chiropractor, but it isn’t the same. I am spending time with friends going for walks along the lake and that has been a saving grace. I am cooking a lot. The 5km restriction is hard going. My good friend lives 9.4km away and she came over the first night the singles bubble was announced. The numbers went up and then it was locked down to 5 kms. There is also just 12 LGAs that are affected because we are in the naughty corner.
I am trying to remind myself that I choose to be home, to be safe and that this is my safe haven. It helps, but it doesn’t always work. Some days I just miss my people. I miss hugs. I miss affection. This is the part that makes my heart ache. My single life was filled with the love of family and friends and I was ok with that. I had quality time with people that mattered and also ate in some amazing places. There are moments that I am in a rut and I am bored of what I cook and the monotony of having to feed myself daily. I am so used to spending time with family - my parents or my sister and eating out once a week if I am lucky and now it’s like…what it’s a meal time again? Tell me I’m not the only one. Though that said, I have only had takeaway now 3 times. There is an increase in spending.
In my pie in the sky dreams, some things I am also planning - re-mortgaging my home to a clean bank loan so my money isn’t been used for reasons leading to climate change. Then get a bit extra for a battery for my solar and a bigger fridge / freezer so I can ditch the older ones in my house and condensing consumption and get double glazing for my house. So may an extra $25,000 on my loan? I think the long term gains would be worth it for a more sustainable house. I am currently reading a book on it by Michael Mobbs so will get more inspiration (and probably spend more money). Maybe after that I might think of an electric vehicle as well in the coming years seeing as my current car turns 15 like my niece…hey my car can now legally work at McDonalds and start earning a wage.
Work has been slow but steady. You know, there are less people putting in claims when they don’t have to deal with other people face to face. Sure they might be stressed home schooling their own kids and managing a home learning environment but the actual psychological claims under workers compensation have been very minimal. Luckily I get along well with the key people I remain close to and I still manage to get a couple of referrals while the timing isn’t great. Though overall, I do love that I get to help people but it’s quite hard sometimes when emotionally I am not all with it either or I am sick. My compassion and empathy can only be taken so far.
I was introduced to someone recently and it all started over Instagram and - oh you have similar photos, you should meet. And that’s where it all happened. So far, its all very PC for now. I have liked and commented on a few photos, he’s liked my photos. There’s been some chat dialogue. Though real conversation. An actual paragraph, which is quite different from most people I have come across, especially males (females are far more talkative on chat). So far, we have arranged to go for an afternoon stroll. He’s quite religious, so we shall see how it goes.
Ok what I have gathered so far. 34, male, Anglican. Engineer but currently not employed. Was working for the NSW Transport. Vegetarian. Drives. Lives alone in Fairfield. Likes photography, taking walks and Japanese things - can speak Japanese. Curly hair (this was something my friend mentioned). Likes Taylor Swift and Disney, especially Mulan. This is what has been gleaned so far from socials.
So we shall see. I have some feelings I thought were long gone. But there’s a renewed excitement that I had not thought about in such a long time. I’ve mentioned it to Cit. It was hard but it needed to be done. I felt so guilty even feeling something for someone else.
When I asked “fancy going for a walk together sometime?” then I waited. And waited. And he messaged back, apparently he was feeling grumpy that night and logged off and responded by midday the next day. A part of me was dying inside. Fighting the anxiety that was telling me that he wasn’t interested, that I was being creepy or too over the top (typical SLL style) or just plain not interested. Luckily he wasn’t - just a long period off social media.
A walking meet up has been organised. I’ve checked the NSW health website and we can still exercise in pairs from households that are not the same. His comment was that it seemed “increasingly illegal” lol.
Maybe this can just be a nice platonic friendship. We can watch Disney, I’ll cook him vego meals (hey, I am getting pretty good and the Ottenlenghi recipes) and the Taylor Swift specials hey? Because if he’s super crunchy, I don’t think he will be a sex before marriage kind of person…or would he? I can’t say that is what I am after, I just want some companionship - I want hugs, a meal and someone to watch tv with right now. Maybe I just need a room mate? (Scrap that, I like living alone)