Thank You for the years of marriage, both good and bad
...and the ensuing heartaches and headaches I had to endure from your decisions and actions you made happen after you left for LA. So I am now going to vent a little and clear some of the air and correct some things that were left uncorrected.
You accused me of many things and said I made many erroneous statements and yet I have been quiet. I have been quiet and not responded because it was in my best interest to NOT respond. It was not a lawyer that told me to do this, but common sense. You went ranting on bends and twists that were not relevant, skewed due to manipulation, or things were put out in public domain that were just outright wrong. You led people to spout even more skewed things against me with your postings and statements for to get a pat on the back or to get some level of attention. You made some people choose sides, when it was totally unnecessary. Well, now I am going to address some of these things and people and air my grievances while setting the record straight on erroneous things you put forth.
1st, I want to address the fact that the house on Jeffry St that we both lost, while it was an investment for you after you left for LA, it was my HOME( a distinction I tried to get across to you many times that you just did not seem to grasp). The last time you visited and stayed there in Dec. '07, you treated my home like it was a hotel that you could care less about and that someone would clean up after you and the mess you left about like there was a maid service. You tried to refinance it quietly to get money out of trumped up equity that really wasn't and make the house even more upside down than it already was, and you did this all without my consent or knowledge. I only found out because I got a call while I was out for the evening from the lender to get my approval and let me know paperwork was forthcoming. If it weren't for Jer and Marci being there to visit with you and subsequently, me also after the fact, I would have torn you a new ass like you hadn't seen me ever do before right then and there.
Getting you to come east in July '08 and get your crap out of the house due to the pending deed in lieu was another task. You enlisted the help of friends, which I had no problem with. I wasn't ever trying to restrict you from doing or going through anything. I pointed you in specific directions because you were too busy putting your attention towards socializing with friends that were there to help, and on the phone, and of course your nightlife activities instead of your responsibilties. You picked and chose what stuff you then felt like dealing with and looking through and left some stuff behind and gave other stuff to Gus to deal with on your behalf. I ended up having to throw away a shitload of YOUR crap that you left behind, and it was no small amount either. This must be all the stuff that you felt "after the fact" that was worth all the money that you were asking me for that you also assumed I had. I don't have a lot of stuff, nor do I have money.
In the division of things, I offered you both the Jetta and 1 of the Ducati's( the 2001 streetbike), and you said that you only wanted the Ducati. I dropped that off at Pitillo's in August of '08, per your request. That bike at the time was in much better condition than what it is now, due to it sitting and suffering a degree of neglect and atrophy. (For those interested, it is a 2001 Ducati Monster Dark 900ie and it is a matte black finish with several mods including, but not limited to; Sargent seat; Arrow Carbon Fiber High Mount exhaust; Ventura tailrack; and some other things with somewhere between 29K and 30K on the odometer at the time I signed it over.) You asked for your Grandmother's snifter full of matches(that you wouldn't have at all if I hadn't asked your father if I could have it) and when you came back to town in Sept of '08, I gave it to Gus for to give to you at Elektroschock. This was per your specific request. I have recently checked with Gus, and he told me that he does still have it in his living room.
You went on to use your LiveJournal to say many things. You went on to say that I filed for divorce 2 days after you lost your job and to correct things on that, here is some fact for ya. I filed for divorce on February 5th (as a matter of public and court record, and this can be verified. for those interested, I can Email you the case link on an individual basis instead of posting it and violating some level of privacy) and then you got word of your pending job loss on February 27th( http://alumiere.livejournal.com/310693.html ). You didn't officially lose your job until May 16th, which is nearly 3.5 months later. One of the other things was to say something to the effect that my deceased grandfather, who used to sit on the bench in Montgomery County in both District and Circuit court, left me a legacy that gained me an advantage in the courts in our divorce. Well, I guess you can extrapolate the thought that his legacy unto me was a genetic ability to enable me think critically and not be afraid of going to the courthouse and asking questions and filing the paperwork to move this action forward. THAT is the only thing my grandfather has helped me with or left me in an advantage in this. You let one of your friends/commenters say something I thought was offensive in regards to my "Grand Daddy"(as they refferred to him) not being able to help me, and you didn't even attempt to correct them about him being not alive when you were saying that I had the court on my side because of him( and he was very nice to you, because you were a part of my life and you made me happy).
The court in all aspects has been 100% fair in the divorce, and the only downfall is yourself and your lawyer's disservice in handling the early matters on your behalf. You of course probably also had a hand in that because your "lawyer" seems to be an environmental lawyer and you probably paid very little for what you had her do on your behalf, which wasted your own money. Something which you bitched about here ( http://alumiere.livejournal.com/354631.html ). Due to how she went about things and advised you, it would seem that she knew little about the processes involved in and around family law and domestic law proceedings( ie:when and how to file things, when and how to apply for alimony relief "pendante' lite", not advising you early on what specific items to provide for proof instead of accepting things like spreadsheets done on a home computer as evidence). As your paid advisor in this matter, she should have explained the rules of evidence and what is needed in court for a judge to see. This should have been happening all along with her and you, but you either didn't get that or disregarded it. Her clue should have been unto you when you both got the multiple requests for proof of billing and proof of payment for those items in contention by me. These are the types of things the court needs also.
I am going to take a moment away from this point by point and address a few individuals, one of which is "ikirus" in the last posting quoted. Nagamii, the last time you saw me was when??? How can you say I have been reverting?? and reverting into what? I think you need to get a real reality check and get in touch with what I have been doing before you can pass off a comment like that, because that shows how very clearly out of touch you are with me and my life and goings on, because I don't think I've seen you in 3 years or longer. Since then, a lot has changed in my life. Going back quite a few years though, back when you brought said girlfriends around. You knowingly brought them around openly flirtatious people whom had specific understandings in their relationship. Yet, despite this ( for your memory to be jogged and for the public reading this to consider), I never slept with any of your girlfriends, even though you slept with my wife. So keep that all in mind please when you cast those stones.
In many other postings like this one ( http://alumiere.livejournal.com/341775.html ) "staciadevi" has done the most wonderful job of trying to maintain impartiality and tried to be unbiased and not choose sides unlike her attempts to really try and do that moreso here -> http://zooom.livejournal.com/16639.html?thread=90111#t90111 and here -> http://zooom.livejournal.com/16359.html?thread=87271#t87271 , but after that, when I chose to remove all discourse publicly on our matters, you continued to feed Kim's fire in an such a way, and show your true preferential side, and for that I would like to thank you. Eva, you did such a great job in asking for both sides of things when you made many a comment to Kim when she would vent about things, which shows the level of informed and in touch you really are in regards to these matters.
There are a few other individuals that have also on a time or 2 that have chimed in here or there, and just shown how much they really meant in being "friends" and maintained communication and offering to help or just call or drop an Email and say "wazzzup" and ask how are things. For those that dropped communication until the dust settled, well, guess what, it is now all done!
Going back to getting the divorce done and some of the things that were said preceeding it that were skewed or off kilter by my now officially ex-wife. She accused me of papering the case and making a lot of filings. Fact is, she submitted double the paperwork and filings in this case than I. I kept things simple and she dug her own holes. She made the court question her defense when she brought it up, and forced them to require her to provide a sworn affidavit from her doctor as to why she could NOT travel and when she might be able to, since she was not going to be given the opportunity to be able to testify in the trial by phone or video since the State of MD does not do that (the Master told her this repeatedly in the scheduling hearing when she phoned in).
To this date and writing, there still has not been that sworn affidavit seen by the court or by me. She claims to be so poor and yet I am the one that is sleeping with a mattress on the floor while she has 2 complete bedframes( because she got one when she 1st moved to LA and then took the one I had here in MD and shipped it back to LA in an exchange of property). She claims she is incapacitated to not being able to drive, and yet she has 2 motorcycles. She claimed I had all this artwork, and yet she is the one with the art collection of SteveArcher painted pieces and sculptures from Robert the Artist among other things. She has machinery that my grandmother gave her for her business that is going nowhere, and these items are doing nothing but being neglected(one of those is my grandmothers furrier grade 1947 Singer machine which was a wedding present from HER father who was a furrier and had that machine set up for home use, but built to be in the same specifications as the machines he required and used for his work in his shop). These are all assetts she could liquidate if she needed, but instead she sells corsets that she has worn and sweated in for 3-6 years and has decided she doesn't want anymore.
She questions her ability as to why she can't find a job, when in reality for what she did and was trained to do, she is just in the wrong locale for where those jobs are. She also is applying maybe for things to do with a look or presentation they'de expect to see from someone half her age which also probably doesn't reflect highly apon her( I freely admit I am purely speculating on this last statement based on her pics from the clubs, and from a general manner of thinking in how an employer might think of how a 43year old woman would generally be presenting themself). It seems to me, her priorities are just misaligned, and I wonder how much longer she can string the whole gambit along. She is smart enough to acknowledge the idea of relocating for work, if push comes to shove. Somewhere that will put her close enough to be able to do what she needs to do safely and not put her ever degrading health conditions at risk. Those conditions by the way, should not stop her from working. I know this due to a friends daughter who is experiencing (and has comfirmed diagnosis of her conditions) the exact things that Kim claims, and yet holds down a regular functional full time job and daily activities, even though there are times it is tough and downright painful for her to do. There are far sicker people than her, whom do the same on a day to day basis, whose blogs are well read, and still they trudge on and do, proactively, what they need to do. They don't take to wallowing in the mires of their inabilities on the internet, trolling for compassion and attention, like it seems Kim does on her LJ. They vent and record and move on, occasionally looking for a discourse of shared experience from an equal. That time that Kim spends on the internet can be better used to pursue avenues of finding the best health care at the lowest price possible for herself, if her health is truly her #1 priority, rather than ranting about how bad the system is and not doing anything about it. Based on how much she goes to the clubs, at her age, with her claimed health problems, I seem to question that, but it is her life, not mine.
Please don't assume that I wish the worst for Kim in her life and health. I wish that she finds peace, and solace, and ground that is solid for her and her health. I hope the the doctors can wade through her medications and her self medicating techniques( both conventional and over the counter, as well as her legal and questionable recreational medicating) for to be able to best find what will work with her the best. WE ALL deserve a level of health and well being.