Home?
So yeah.
im home. wow. last night was rough. i went to the tail end of a chorus concert and missed the whole thing but still saw people, especially margie. we talked for a little while and then i drove around rockville sobbing. i miss it so much here. i basically wanted to get out and kiss the groud. which is weird because i didnt even like high school that much, i dont even REALLY love rockville, i just miss the comfort of home. its just SO nice and i took it all for granted before. but at the same time i realize i cant come back. i cant go back to high school. we had our turn, and now its someone elses turn. it was hard seeing all the seniors chearing together at the game. WE were the seniors,not them. its like we made it to the top, then got dumped off the cliff or something. its just hard.
but i guess i have to move on. i just was forced to grow up, and i guess i didnt think i was ready. guess i have to be. lots of guessing. im just not sure about lots of things anymore. except who i love and who loves me. thats crystal clear.
i really miss everyone. its great to see people. i loved just hugging everyone. i feel like billy madison. theyre all like oh i cant wait to go to college. im like STAY HERE! WHERE ITS SAFE AND HAPPY! haha. im jealous of them. and i couldnt wait to be done. but i guess now i have to move on. and i HAVE to get my grades up.
completely different note. salad fingers WHAT THE HELL. im so disturbed. SO disturbed. does someone think this is funny? geezus.
i really really miss dan. i wish he was home. ill probably hang out with his sister tomorrow. hopefully. and colleen and jessie. but god i miss dan. i need someone to hold me right about now. hugs are great, but sometimes i just need someone not to let go.
6 days....
im home. wow. last night was rough. i went to the tail end of a chorus concert and missed the whole thing but still saw people, especially margie. we talked for a little while and then i drove around rockville sobbing. i miss it so much here. i basically wanted to get out and kiss the groud. which is weird because i didnt even like high school that much, i dont even REALLY love rockville, i just miss the comfort of home. its just SO nice and i took it all for granted before. but at the same time i realize i cant come back. i cant go back to high school. we had our turn, and now its someone elses turn. it was hard seeing all the seniors chearing together at the game. WE were the seniors,not them. its like we made it to the top, then got dumped off the cliff or something. its just hard.
but i guess i have to move on. i just was forced to grow up, and i guess i didnt think i was ready. guess i have to be. lots of guessing. im just not sure about lots of things anymore. except who i love and who loves me. thats crystal clear.
i really miss everyone. its great to see people. i loved just hugging everyone. i feel like billy madison. theyre all like oh i cant wait to go to college. im like STAY HERE! WHERE ITS SAFE AND HAPPY! haha. im jealous of them. and i couldnt wait to be done. but i guess now i have to move on. and i HAVE to get my grades up.
completely different note. salad fingers WHAT THE HELL. im so disturbed. SO disturbed. does someone think this is funny? geezus.
i really really miss dan. i wish he was home. ill probably hang out with his sister tomorrow. hopefully. and colleen and jessie. but god i miss dan. i need someone to hold me right about now. hugs are great, but sometimes i just need someone not to let go.
6 days....