words of a prophet
I've been reading Brigham Young lately for fun. He's one of my favorite prophets because he's pretty feminist (which most non-Mormons, and even most Mormons, are not aware of.) Also, he's far more liberal in other matters than most people realize. I first read the Discourses of BY when I was a young mom (~25) and they definitely have shaped my life philosophy, so it is fun to go back and read them again.
A snippet I found that I wish Zoodada would have lived by:
"I will illustrate the method of establishing confidence in each other by taking, for example, the child of four or five years of age. The mother allows that child to own a small chest in which to keep his little trinkets...This is considered by all the family the child's chest. Now let none go into that chest and take anything from it, without the consent of the child. This is a very small matter, some may think; but begin at as small a point as this to create confidence, and let it grow up from little to much. Wives, let your husband's stores alone, if they have not committed them to your charge. Husbands, commit that to your wives that belongs to them, and never search their boxes without their consent...If this principle were strictly carried out by every man, woman, and child among the Saints, it would make them a blessed people indeed."
And more that helps me realize that I wasn't inherently wrong in leaving my marriage:
"When misuse of power has reached a certain stage, the divinity that is within the people asserts its right and they free themselves from the power of despotism."
I like thinking of that part of me that stood up and said "no more" as the divinity that is within me. (I remember reading somewhere, I think a biography, that BY was very liberal at granting divorces to women when he was governor--but very, very rarely did the same for men.)
Along other lines: the last few months I've been reflecting on what would happen if I did get married again. Would it really be "wrong" of me to have a career outside the home, from an LDS perspective? BY again:
"...we have sisters here who, if they had the privilege of studying, would make just as good mathematicians or accountants as any man; and we think they ought to have the privilege to study these branches of knowledge that they may develop the powers with which they are endowed. We believe that women are useful, not only to sweep houses, make beds, and raise babies, but that they should stand behind the counter, study law or physic, or become good bookkeepers and be able to do the business in any counting house, and all this to enlarge their sphere of usefulness for the benefit of society at large. In following these things they but answer the design of their creation."
So there, overly conservative Mormons. As long as I fulfill my duty to teach my children it is fine for me to have a career.
A snippet I found that I wish Zoodada would have lived by:
"I will illustrate the method of establishing confidence in each other by taking, for example, the child of four or five years of age. The mother allows that child to own a small chest in which to keep his little trinkets...This is considered by all the family the child's chest. Now let none go into that chest and take anything from it, without the consent of the child. This is a very small matter, some may think; but begin at as small a point as this to create confidence, and let it grow up from little to much. Wives, let your husband's stores alone, if they have not committed them to your charge. Husbands, commit that to your wives that belongs to them, and never search their boxes without their consent...If this principle were strictly carried out by every man, woman, and child among the Saints, it would make them a blessed people indeed."
And more that helps me realize that I wasn't inherently wrong in leaving my marriage:
"When misuse of power has reached a certain stage, the divinity that is within the people asserts its right and they free themselves from the power of despotism."
I like thinking of that part of me that stood up and said "no more" as the divinity that is within me. (I remember reading somewhere, I think a biography, that BY was very liberal at granting divorces to women when he was governor--but very, very rarely did the same for men.)
Along other lines: the last few months I've been reflecting on what would happen if I did get married again. Would it really be "wrong" of me to have a career outside the home, from an LDS perspective? BY again:
"...we have sisters here who, if they had the privilege of studying, would make just as good mathematicians or accountants as any man; and we think they ought to have the privilege to study these branches of knowledge that they may develop the powers with which they are endowed. We believe that women are useful, not only to sweep houses, make beds, and raise babies, but that they should stand behind the counter, study law or physic, or become good bookkeepers and be able to do the business in any counting house, and all this to enlarge their sphere of usefulness for the benefit of society at large. In following these things they but answer the design of their creation."
So there, overly conservative Mormons. As long as I fulfill my duty to teach my children it is fine for me to have a career.