Sombrero
Okay, well I may not have much to say. In fact, I'm probably just going to rant like I usually do.
For starters, you guys need to update more! Dammit, I am not cut out to be updating often. I usually think about shit too much to the point where I come to livejournal to say something, but I have nothing left to say. I feel like so many things have already been played over and over again in my mind. I don't even know where any of this is coming from, but I am just going to keep on typing without looking back.
I know 'they' say that your college years are some of the best years of your life. Well, I know I am just a freshman, but so far Stony Brook has treated me well. Despite the seemingly endless stress, frustration, and work overload, I am realizing so much more about life that I don't think staying at home could have given me. I'm glad I got out, but I'll be glad to return. I love you guys and I like the fact that being away at the S. Brook has given me more insight about friendship and about the overlooked simplicities of life.
So far I have grown in a number of ways. I have definitely become more tolerant of and open-minded to different cultures, people, and lifestyles. I feel like I have the capability of embracing it all and that makes me happy. Also, I am growing in the sense that I am giving myself more options for the future. I am not going to be so narrow-minded about what to do in the future or about what to study now.
By the end of next semester I probably will have completed all of my DECs with the exception of one other science course-something many juniors I have met haven't done yet. Also, I have decided that Sociology will be one of my majors. I'll have taken 5 Sociology classes by the end of next semester, 4 of them being upper-division courses.
Once again, I find that I am challenging myself in many ways academically.
Once again, I have also found that others are challenging me in many ways intellectually, psychologically, and academically.
Once again, I have also encountered those that have no idea what the fuck they are teaching, and as a result I have become one of those people that question how the fuck people are hired in the first place and THEN manage to maintain their position.
In much the same way as I feel I have grown, I feel that I am simultaneously stagnant.
Sometimes I feel like life, itself, is pulling me away or holding me back.
And when I feel this way I try to question exactly WHY it is I feel that way and if it has anything to do with me determining what kind of person I will become or what kind of purpose I am supposed to acknowledge and fulfill. Maybe feeling that way is my mind's way of telling me that I am looking in all the wrong places for all the wrong reasons.
Sometimes I feel as I grow emotionally with friends and people here, I also die in the sense that I do not feel as adequately connected to friends and people there. (home)
I don't want to push any of you away. I don't want to grow distant from any of you.
I do want to hold on to the pieces and fibers of you that determine who you are and what you mean to me. But I also want to find new,different pieces of you, as well.
I want to watch you grow.
I want to grow with you.
I don't know if you guys feel like I'm forgetting about you because we haven't had much contact, but that's definitely not the case. I always find myself wishing you were here with me, enjoying the moment, and embracing life completely. Just being happy.
I can't wait for this summer with you guys.
<3
P.S. I am struggling, but I am ready to admit it.
P.P.S. I am ready for something more, and I think someone else is ready with me.
For starters, you guys need to update more! Dammit, I am not cut out to be updating often. I usually think about shit too much to the point where I come to livejournal to say something, but I have nothing left to say. I feel like so many things have already been played over and over again in my mind. I don't even know where any of this is coming from, but I am just going to keep on typing without looking back.
I know 'they' say that your college years are some of the best years of your life. Well, I know I am just a freshman, but so far Stony Brook has treated me well. Despite the seemingly endless stress, frustration, and work overload, I am realizing so much more about life that I don't think staying at home could have given me. I'm glad I got out, but I'll be glad to return. I love you guys and I like the fact that being away at the S. Brook has given me more insight about friendship and about the overlooked simplicities of life.
So far I have grown in a number of ways. I have definitely become more tolerant of and open-minded to different cultures, people, and lifestyles. I feel like I have the capability of embracing it all and that makes me happy. Also, I am growing in the sense that I am giving myself more options for the future. I am not going to be so narrow-minded about what to do in the future or about what to study now.
By the end of next semester I probably will have completed all of my DECs with the exception of one other science course-something many juniors I have met haven't done yet. Also, I have decided that Sociology will be one of my majors. I'll have taken 5 Sociology classes by the end of next semester, 4 of them being upper-division courses.
Once again, I find that I am challenging myself in many ways academically.
Once again, I have also found that others are challenging me in many ways intellectually, psychologically, and academically.
Once again, I have also encountered those that have no idea what the fuck they are teaching, and as a result I have become one of those people that question how the fuck people are hired in the first place and THEN manage to maintain their position.
In much the same way as I feel I have grown, I feel that I am simultaneously stagnant.
Sometimes I feel like life, itself, is pulling me away or holding me back.
And when I feel this way I try to question exactly WHY it is I feel that way and if it has anything to do with me determining what kind of person I will become or what kind of purpose I am supposed to acknowledge and fulfill. Maybe feeling that way is my mind's way of telling me that I am looking in all the wrong places for all the wrong reasons.
Sometimes I feel as I grow emotionally with friends and people here, I also die in the sense that I do not feel as adequately connected to friends and people there. (home)
I don't want to push any of you away. I don't want to grow distant from any of you.
I do want to hold on to the pieces and fibers of you that determine who you are and what you mean to me. But I also want to find new,different pieces of you, as well.
I want to watch you grow.
I want to grow with you.
I don't know if you guys feel like I'm forgetting about you because we haven't had much contact, but that's definitely not the case. I always find myself wishing you were here with me, enjoying the moment, and embracing life completely. Just being happy.
I can't wait for this summer with you guys.
<3
P.S. I am struggling, but I am ready to admit it.
P.P.S. I am ready for something more, and I think someone else is ready with me.