Secret Santa Fic
......**ducks in sheepishly**
Yes. No "'Rella" yet (I still have to tweak the flow so that I don't end up...um...nevermind)...or anything else, like another crack!Tentacles!fic (It's on the to-do list!)....but here's the Secret Santa fic I wrote for the miracle_ss fic exchange.
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Title: Winter Daydreams
Author: zoolooney
Recipient: virgo288
Rating: PG-13, for mild cursing, fighting, and, um, handcuffs?
Disclaimer: I do not own the people portrayed herein. Nor do I own Narnia.
Summary: The subconscious knows what the conscious tries to ignore.
Request elements used: Kyuhyun/ZhouMi/Sungmin (sort of…), University AU, Fairytale AU (kind of…), Cross fandoms
Notes: I…have no clue where this came from. I made cookies. I have a psychology textbook on my bookshelf. I saw a ‘To Narnia’ macro. And boom.
Kyuhyun’s head was hurting terribly, all thick and stuffy feeling. He suspected that he’d somehow become the latest victim of the flu virus that had been making its way around campus lately, but there was nothing he could do about it right now, seeing as it was the last day of class before winter break, and he needed to get the assignment that was going to be passed out today. He hunched down further in his seat, thankful that he was in the upper back row of seats in the massive lecture hall. He’d just have to grit his teeth and bear it through the rest of the lecture. His psychology professor’s monotonous, monotone drone wasn’t helping matters much, however, and quite against his will Kyuhyun found his mind drifting off into la-la land in an effort to escape the dull, throbbing pounding even as his eyes remained open and ‘focused’ on the slides going across the projector screen…
~*~*~
He found himself in the middle of a snow-covered path, in the middle of a strange forest, staring at the signs posted to a crossroad. Kyuhyun read each sign aloud slowly, trying to make sense of the strange but legible scrawl of the signs.
“‘This-A-Way’… well, that’s helpful…not. What, exactly, is this way? Let’s see… ‘That-A-Way’… right, okay, that makes absolutely no sense; or, if you want to look at it another way, perfect sense considering the first sign. And I’m talking to myself. Great.” He shook his head, and read the third sign. “What the… ‘Narnia’… they actually know which way it is to Narnia?” As he stood there in confusion staring at the road signs, he suddenly heard a familiar voice greet him in an entirely unfamiliar way.
“WELL MET, HUNTER KYUHYUNNIE! WHYFORE ART THOU STARING AT THE CROSSROADS IN SUCH A PERPLEXED MANNER?! SHOULD YOU NOT BE RIDING TO THE RESCUE OF THE OBJECTS OF YOUR TENDER AFFECTIONS RIGHT NOW?” At the loud boisterous voice, Kyuhyun whirled in place, and stared. Then blinked furiously, rubbing at his eyes with one hand, and stared some more. The vision before his eyes didn’t change a single bit.
“…Donghae?” It certainly looked as if the man who’d spoken to him was his friend Donghae, but Kyuhyun had never seen the happy-go-lucky Photography and Dance double major dressed quite so strangely before. From the sparkly golden curl-toed ankle boots complete with bells at their curly tips, to the bright green tights, up to a thick and blindingly bright red with white fur-trim coat, topped off with a neon green hat also with fur trim and a bell at the very tip, Donghae looked like some sort of demented court jester.
“AYE~! ‘TIS I!” And with this, the strangely-dressed Donghae began to do a weird, shimmy-dance in the middle of the path. Kyuhyun watched for a few moments, thinking of and discarding question after question, before something the other had shouted earlier registered.
“…wait. What do you mean, ‘riding to the rescue of the objects of my tender affections’? What is going on around here?” He was thoroughly confused. Donghae, at this question, stopped what he was doing and stared at Kyuhyun in horror, then tackled him.
“OH ALAS~! HUNTER KYUHYUNNIE! YOU HAVE LOST THY MEMORIES! KIBUMMIE~ HELP~!” Kyuhyun winced and clapped his hands over his ears in an effort to save his hearing as Donghae wailed. Suddenly, by some miracle, the man was pulled off of him.
“He hasn’t forgotten anything Donghae; he simply has not heard the news yet.” A calm, level voice said. Kyuhyun risked cracking an eye open. The new arrival seemed to be Kim Kibum, a Pre-Med student with whom Kyuhyun was close friends, but yet again he was dressed in a very strange manner. For one thing, he was wearing a long, dark blue set of robes. For another, he was carrying a long staff with a glowing blue orb at the top in one hand, the other clutching the back of Donghae’s coat. And lastly, Kyuhyun had seen Kibum scruffy before, when he’d forgotten to shave for a few days due to multiple research papers due at the same time, but he’d never before seen his friend bearing a full but neatly trimmed goatee that hit mid-chest.
“…what. The. Hell.” Kyuhyun stated flatly, tilting his head to the side and raising an eyebrow. Kibum gave a curt nod.
“To answer the questions I am reading from you, 1) I’m a Magician, 2) Donghae is one-half the Royal Court Jesters, 3) you’re a Hunter, and 4) you need to go ‘That-A-Way’ for more answers.” Kibum said, rapidly. “We’ll be going to Narnia now.” And with that, Kibum the Magician proceeded to drag Donghae down the path to Narnia.
“…o-kay…” Kyuhyun sighed, and shrugged. “I guess I’m going ‘That-A-Way’ then.” No sooner had he stepped onto the trail ‘That-A-Way’ than his surroundings changed entirely, seeming to blur and melt away. “…Whoa.” Kyuhyun blinked.
He was still somewhere wintery, judging by the snow on the ground all around him, but the forest was gone. Instead, all Kyuhyun could see for miles around were rolling, snow-covered hills. And a single, large, snow-covered fir tree at the top of one of the hills, in which were seated several females dressed as angels complete with wings, and under which stood two figures arguing. Kyuhyun squinted. Two of the ‘angels’ seemed to be Sunny, a close friend of Sungmin, who was in turn Kyuhyun’s close friend, and Liyin, a girl in his Chinese Languages class. They and the other ‘angels’ were singing to each other. He also recognized the two arguing people under the tree; they were Heechul’s cousin, Jaejoong, a Fashion and Design major, and Jaejoong’s Business major fiancé Yunho.
“Don’t you dare lie to me, Jung Yunho! I saw you and that…that…that SeulGi woman getting mighty cozy together in the tavern!” Jaejoong, slightly shorter than his fiancé, yelled. Even from this distance, and despite the heavy fringe of hair brushing them, Kyuhyun could see the fire in his wide eyes. Literally, seeing as there were sparks and tiny flames coming from them and dancing and fading in the air.
“Jaejoong… Boo! It wasn’t…it’s not like that at all! Let me explain!” Yunho, the taller figure with short, slightly spiky hair, waved his hands in a placating manner. He was also probably trying to dissipate the sparks and flames, too, come to think of it.
“Well then what was it like, then?!” Jaejoong crossed his arms over his chest, frowning mightily. Yunho placed his hands on Jaejoong’s shoulders.
“We weren’t getting cozy together; we were just having a coffee date to discuss a joint mock business proposal.” He said soothingly. These proved to be the wrong choice of words, though.
“AAHHH~! You were on a date with her?! And you were proposing to her, too?! You’re cheating on me! I HATE YOU!” Jaejoong shoved Yunho back with a shriek of anger and whirling, threw himself into the tree trunk… and disappeared.
“NO! Crap, that came out wrong! Jaejoongie, wait!” With this, a frantic Yunho followed the other into the tree. Kyuhyun, thoroughly baffled, made his way to the tree, and stared.
There was a set of doors in the massive trunk… batwing-styled old West saloon-type doors. Kyuhyun tried to peer over the tops, but couldn’t see a thing save inky darkness. With a shrug, Kyuhyun pushed open the doors and stepped into the tree.
“Coffee?” He abruptly found himself cross-eyed, staring at a mug that had been shoved into his face. Stepping back a pace, Kyuhyun refocused his eyes from the mug, to the person holding said mug.
“…Yesung?” It certainly looked a great deal like one of his roommates, but since when did Yesung have a moustache and goatee…? He looked like some sort of cowboy desperado. Kyuhyun shook his head. Still, whatever the reason for the sudden facial hair, there was no excuse for the Botanist and sometimes-rocker to be wearing a black leather version of a Santa-suit…
A pair of slender arms encased in green velvet, holding a set of fuzzy hot pink handcuffs, made their way around Yesung’s waist, and Kyuhyun’s eyes widened. The owner of said arms propped his head on Yesung’s shoulder, revealing Kyuhyun and Yesung’s other roommate Ryeowook (and not incidentally, Yesung’s boyfriend), but Kyuhyun had never before seen such a predatory expression on the man’s sweet face before. “Hi Kyuhyunnie~…” Ryeowook all but purred. “It’s about time you got here... they’re out back, and it’s starting soon.”
Kyuhyun rather felt that confusion was fast becoming the normal state of affairs for him.
“What…? Who’re out back, and why should I care?” He asked, looking around the…wait. He thought he’d entered a room in the trunk of a fir tree through a set of bat-wing saloon doors, but looking around, Kyuhyun found himself not in a room of wood, but in a room with walls that looked as if they were made out of… shingles of gingerbread? And the window frames were candy canes, the tables looked like giant sugar cookies, the chairs were pretzel with peanut butter cup cushions, there were couches carved from what looked like loaves of fruitcake, the door behind him looked like a solid slab of chocolate on hinges, the light fixtures seemed to be hollowed-out gumdrops, and this all seemed like some sort of demented confectionary and baked goods version of a coffeehouse.
“Just Sungmin, ZhouMi, and an army of gingerbread people trained by Heechul-the-Drama-Queen and armed with marshmallow puffs and licorice ropes. They were planning on baking Sungmin into a pumpkin pie, and ZhouMi was going to try to stop them, but all that’s changed now.” Ryeowook responded cheerfully.
“…WHAT?!” Without knowing quite how or why, Kyuhyun ran towards the back of the coffeehouse, burst through the chocolate doorway, and suddenly found himself in the middle of a battlefield. True to Ryeowook’s words, there was a veritable army of giant gingerbread people swinging impossibly long licorice ropes around, and gigantic marshmallow puffs being shot from handheld cannons. The air was thick with the sweet fluffy confection, and as Kyuhyun fought and dodged his way towards what he assumed was the center of the battle, he could hear angry shouts and screaming laughter mixed in with sound of crunching cookie.
Kicking at the back of a gingerbread person’s knee, Kyuhyun made himself an opening through which he could finally see what was happening. A person he recognized as ZhouMi, albeit one with distinctly wolf-like ears and furry tail, had been tied up with licorice ropes, and was being held up by one gingerbread person while being tickled to death by another. Nearby, Kyuhyun could see someone with long floppy white bunny ears and a bushy cotton-puff of a tail take running leap which transitioned into a flying spin-kick at another three gingerbread people, all the while twirling what seemed to be an inordinately long candy cane staff. The kick landed right in the solar plexus area of the gingerbread person in the middle, while the ‘staff’ literally took the heads off of the two gingerbread people to either side. The bunny-person landed in a crouch, and looked up and around. Kyuhyun gasped.
“…Sungmin?” He knew that his friend knew martial arts, but this was bordering on ridiculous. And kind of hot, considering the contrast between his sweet and fluffy bunny looks but fierce kick-ass facial expression…oh yeah, definitely sexy, but still ridiculous.
“…hahaha…Kyu….hah! Kyuhyun! Bwahahahahaha! H-help! AH! Hahaha!” ZhouMi had looked up, noticed Kyuhyun, and managed to speak. Shaking his head to clear it, Kyuhyun ran over, shoving the tickling gingerbread person aside, and punched the arms of the gingerbread person holding ZhouMi captive. This resulted in the arms crumbling off and ZhouMi dropping to the ground, gasping for air.
“…you okay, ZhouMi?” Kyuhyun asked as he removed the licorice ropes binding ZhouMi’s hands together.
“I… am now.” The other managed to wheeze. “Thanks.” And to Kyuhyun’s astonishment and before he could react, ZhouMi gave Kyuhyun a smacking kiss right in the lips.
“ZhouMi! W…what was that for?!” Kyuhyun managed to stammer out, scrambling backwards and falling ungracefully on his rear end. ZhouMi shrugged and opened his mouth to speak, but before any words could come out Kyuhyun felt something hitting the side of his head, accompanied by the scent of marshmallow.
“Kyuhyun!” The voice seemed to come from a distance, and even as his vision darkened Kyuhyun could see the concerned expression on Sungmin’s face as the bunny-man ran in his direction. “Kyuhyun!”
“Sung…min…?” He managed to get out before his vision went out completely…
~*~*~
…and came back with a snap and sudden clarity, even as he was hit with that soft something yet again.
“No, idiot, Changmin. CHANG-min, not SUNG-min.” came the very familiar and sarcastic voice of his classmate, fellow Psychology major, and best friend. “What the hell have you been thinking about? The lights were on, but no one was home. Class is over by the way, you can borrow my notes considering you didn’t take any of your own while you were off daydreaming, and did you know you said ‘ZhouMi’ and ‘Sungmin’ several times, there?” Changmin pulled the beanie he’d used to hit Kyuhyun back onto his own head, and took another bite of the treat he had in his hand. Kyuhyun shook his head.
“…I had the strangest dream…” He said slowly. “There were roads leading to ‘This-A-Way,’ ‘That-A-Way,’ and ‘Narnia.’ Singing angels in a giant tree. An arguing couple, Jaejoong and Yunho actually, a crazy bakery coffeehouse where the furniture was made of the baked goods, and a gingerbread army.” He explained. Changmin raised an eyebrow.
“…Okay…some of that is based on the lecture we just had…” Changmin flipped through his notes as he organized them to put away. “A summary of everything we just went over: People who are at a crossroads in their lives often turn to answers either with logic, based in reality, or magic and fantasy. The magic and fantasy portion is where we get the preponderance of stories about angels singing and miracles happening, all designed to bring a measure of comfort to the person or persons experiencing the events. The logical offshoot of seeking comfort would be in comfort foods. Oftentimes, when an established couple gets in a fight, and you probably got Jaejoong and Yunho in your head from what I was telling you before class about how Jae’s pissed off over something Yunho did, one or both will seek solace in what are commonly called ‘comfort foods,’ foodstuffs that invoke a sense of calm and well-being, often having some connection to the person’s childhood or upbringing. This is where I started got a bit hungry, so I dug into the chocolate-dipped gingerbread-marshmallow sandwich cookies I had packed as a snack. Then the professor started talking about how instead of searching for comfort, some people instead try to find altercations to get into to work out their aggressions. The combination of the scent of my snack and the professor’s words probably triggered your ‘gingerbread army’ images. But that doesn’t explain why you said ‘ZhouMi’ and ‘Sungmin’ several times” He finished. Changmin crossed his arms, and glared at Kyuhyun. “Is there something you aren’t telling me, Cho Kyuhyun?”
Kyuhyun averted his eyes. “Like what?” He asked. Changmin smirked.
“Hmm…let’s lay out the facts.” Changmin began to tick points off on his fingers. “One: You were daydreaming, shame on you by the way. Two: You were thinking of your friend Sungmin, Broadcasting and Entertainment major, bunny and pumpkin lover extraordinaire, the one for whom you spent a good hour early this morning standing in line at the campus coffeehouse for to buy the holiday special spiced double pumpkin cookies and pumpkin cream coffee, and ZhouMi, the Chinese language TA you haven’t been able to stop talking about for weeks now. And three: You actually said their names out loud, several times.” He used the three raised fingers to point at the by now slightly blushing Kyuhyun. “My conclusion based on this evidence? You, my friend, totally have a crush on the both of them.”
Kyuhyun opened his mouth to refute this statement, thought about the words that Daydream!Donghae had said in referring to the duo as the ‘objects of his tender affections,’ then thought about Daydream!ZhouMi kissing him, and the fact that he had thought Daydream!Sungmin was sexy, groaned instead, and let his head hit the back of the seat in front of him. As Changmin laughed at him, Kyuhyun admitted to himself that yes, he did indeed have a crush on both Sungmin and ZhouMi, and that, sadly, hitting his head on the seat back in front of him did nothing about the situation except remind him that he had a headache.
END…for now.
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And before you all bombard me with demands for a sequel, it is on the to-do list, and it will be written. Eventually. Because ASDFGHJKLSASDS~~~ I've got, literally, seventy-odd fics and ideas all in progress at the moment.
X.X That's only counting the ones with more than a page of notes and development. There's Gundam Wing, and Yu-Gi-Oh, and YuYu Hakusho, and Naruto, and Ouran High School Host Club, and DBSK, and SuJu, and Mag7, and NCIS, and Numb3rs, and Xena/Hercules, and BTVS, and Sailor Moon, and CardCaptor Sakura, and a few other's I've forgotten off the top of my head, and I still have RL to deal with, and ohmyGodI'mafreakandI'mgoingtofigurativelydie....