Stuffed
Auditions tomorrow. Song's been set for about two weeks and I've cut it to my satisfaction. Worked on a bit of blocking in front of a mirror - something I never did in high school. I didn't realize I was so uptight. Glad I've worked it out a bit.
I'm dealing with some low-grade depression that never seems to go away. The meds have stabilized me fairly well; I'm no longer jumping back and forth from really low to racing/rage. Now I'm just left with this emotional glut and I hate it.
I have a med doc appointment on Monday and I think I'm gonna talk to him about decreasing one of my mood stabilizers and increasing my antidepressant. We upped the mood stabilizer in question last month. I was having pretty violent death fantasies and dreams that settled down after about a week. I've found myself absolutely binging on food; inhaling four bowls of cereal in less than ten minutes and chewing something for two hours straight are just highlights. I can't believe what I'm doing while I'm doing it. The weight gain has been meteoric.
...and the cheating! For the first time I am cheating on my food allergy diet. I'm feelin' it, too - I've had a few bouts with vague asthma and mild itching. Why do I still eat? I've lost control somehow.
Sarah
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I'm dealing with some low-grade depression that never seems to go away. The meds have stabilized me fairly well; I'm no longer jumping back and forth from really low to racing/rage. Now I'm just left with this emotional glut and I hate it.
I have a med doc appointment on Monday and I think I'm gonna talk to him about decreasing one of my mood stabilizers and increasing my antidepressant. We upped the mood stabilizer in question last month. I was having pretty violent death fantasies and dreams that settled down after about a week. I've found myself absolutely binging on food; inhaling four bowls of cereal in less than ten minutes and chewing something for two hours straight are just highlights. I can't believe what I'm doing while I'm doing it. The weight gain has been meteoric.
...and the cheating! For the first time I am cheating on my food allergy diet. I'm feelin' it, too - I've had a few bouts with vague asthma and mild itching. Why do I still eat? I've lost control somehow.
Sarah
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