interrupting cow
I would say, “Hey! Joel-Peter Witkin, eat your heart out!” but I’m afraid he’d take it literally…and then photograph it. Later he’d call his buddy Andres Serrano with a mouth full of blood. Andres would say, “Oh dear friend, you just gave me a brilliant idea for B&S IV! A collaboration, yes? Don’t be surprised to see me at your doorway with my pants at my ankles. We must hurry! I have to shoot Snoop Dogg with a purple robotic alligator before lunch!”
Then I realized a purple robotic alligator is something Andres Serrano would never use.
Why have you forsaken me Ernesto? Por que?! You promised raging floods and high winds and all you brought was a cloud or two. My point is, work was busy last night. Damian caught me drawing on the Magna Doodle. He gave me a look; a you-know-you-shouldn’t-be-doing-that-lets-have-sex-look. Then he waddled away.
Ok, school:
My creative writing teacher looks like the white version of Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince. He just talks and talks and talks. And of course, like in every writing class, everything we write must be read out load to everyone. Just the thought of it makes my ears go ballistic. I’d honestly rather put a gun to my head-- ok,that’s a bit of an exaggeration-- I’d rather be plucking my eyebrows --alright, now that’s an understatement-- I’d rather lick the bottom of a homeless person’s bare foot. Yeah.
But there are boys.
Boy #1: Your last name is Gossman, and I can’t help but think, “Gross, man!” but gross is most certainly not the case. There’s a major possibility that you may be gay based on your mannerisms alone. When I walked into the classroom, you sat with your legs crossed at your desk. You really like flaunting them to the class with the cargo shorts you wear that are cut slightly above the knee. Keep in mind, you also had on laced up sneakers but without socks. Why? Whatever, I love your beard.
Boy #2: Your face looks like a skull with skin. Luckily for you, the look matches the tshirts you wear with dragons on them. For the first 10 minutes of class you kept your sunglasses on. They looked like two orange reflectors attached to your face. Wait, what are you doing with sunglasses in the first place? It’s a night class, the sun is nowhere nearby.
Boy #3: You sit with your legs spread out so everyone can see your toes overlapping nad peaking from your sandals. I wish you would stop that. Or maybe just start wearing closed-toe shoes. That’d be nice.
Dr. Levi is my math teacher. First things first, he wanted to make sure everyone knew that his name is pronounced “Lee-vee” NOT “Lev-ee”. Good to know, I suppose. He is a short stereotypical looking Jew. He wears his pants up high, combs over the hair he has left and flaunts tacky gold rings (no weddingband though)
This is my second attempt at Integrated Algebra and he doesn’t allow multiple choice questions on tests, which means I’m screwed. But he did let us know that he is there for us for whatever math problems/questions we may have. Listen Lee-Vee, I appreciate the help but when it comes to a test, my mind erases. I need you to et me use my notes ! Okay? Or make them multple choice! please
And O-M-G, on the first day we had to fill out index cards with our information on it. I sat in the front so I had to collect all the cards from my row, and I swear there is a girl in my class named Laura Smellie. !! Beats the hell out of Colon.
Anyway, earth science is gay. Geology does not, in fact, ROCK.
Iris's birthday is tomorrow and I will not be seeing her. That makes me, like, so sad.
Then I realized a purple robotic alligator is something Andres Serrano would never use.
Why have you forsaken me Ernesto? Por que?! You promised raging floods and high winds and all you brought was a cloud or two. My point is, work was busy last night. Damian caught me drawing on the Magna Doodle. He gave me a look; a you-know-you-shouldn’t-be-doing-that-lets-have-sex-look. Then he waddled away.
Ok, school:
My creative writing teacher looks like the white version of Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince. He just talks and talks and talks. And of course, like in every writing class, everything we write must be read out load to everyone. Just the thought of it makes my ears go ballistic. I’d honestly rather put a gun to my head-- ok,that’s a bit of an exaggeration-- I’d rather be plucking my eyebrows --alright, now that’s an understatement-- I’d rather lick the bottom of a homeless person’s bare foot. Yeah.
But there are boys.
Boy #1: Your last name is Gossman, and I can’t help but think, “Gross, man!” but gross is most certainly not the case. There’s a major possibility that you may be gay based on your mannerisms alone. When I walked into the classroom, you sat with your legs crossed at your desk. You really like flaunting them to the class with the cargo shorts you wear that are cut slightly above the knee. Keep in mind, you also had on laced up sneakers but without socks. Why? Whatever, I love your beard.
Boy #2: Your face looks like a skull with skin. Luckily for you, the look matches the tshirts you wear with dragons on them. For the first 10 minutes of class you kept your sunglasses on. They looked like two orange reflectors attached to your face. Wait, what are you doing with sunglasses in the first place? It’s a night class, the sun is nowhere nearby.
Boy #3: You sit with your legs spread out so everyone can see your toes overlapping nad peaking from your sandals. I wish you would stop that. Or maybe just start wearing closed-toe shoes. That’d be nice.
Dr. Levi is my math teacher. First things first, he wanted to make sure everyone knew that his name is pronounced “Lee-vee” NOT “Lev-ee”. Good to know, I suppose. He is a short stereotypical looking Jew. He wears his pants up high, combs over the hair he has left and flaunts tacky gold rings (no weddingband though)
This is my second attempt at Integrated Algebra and he doesn’t allow multiple choice questions on tests, which means I’m screwed. But he did let us know that he is there for us for whatever math problems/questions we may have. Listen Lee-Vee, I appreciate the help but when it comes to a test, my mind erases. I need you to et me use my notes ! Okay? Or make them multple choice! please
And O-M-G, on the first day we had to fill out index cards with our information on it. I sat in the front so I had to collect all the cards from my row, and I swear there is a girl in my class named Laura Smellie. !! Beats the hell out of Colon.
Anyway, earth science is gay. Geology does not, in fact, ROCK.
Iris's birthday is tomorrow and I will not be seeing her. That makes me, like, so sad.