(no subject)

Apr 23, 2007 14:07

It's been a few weeks. It's so weird how I've completely lost myself lately. I think this is what happens when one goes from childhood to adulthood. Just when I thought I knew myself, I'm gone. I mean, I can't even get motivation to go running or read a book anymore. Wtf? So I've been meandering around, lost in my conflicting thoughts, struggling with inner......struggles. But it's not as fatalist as it sounds; I simply cannot figure out what the hell is going on in my head, and recently I had even considered seeing a shrink. As much as I am against using drugs for neuroses, I wouldn't mind taking them for a test-drive, because, I mean, what if they actually help in balancing me out? I do feel pretty empty though, partly because I'm so stressed out all the time, guilt-ridden, walking around with a knot in my throat for no apparent reason. Well, the reason is apparent, and that is the fear of failure..now that I have been welcomed aboard starship university, the prospect of failure could be much more of an actual blow than it has ever been before. I guess that's what happens after emerging from beneath wings. Now where is the wind beneath mine?

Tootles!
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