Do we really need automatic doors?
It is Christmas Eve. I am utterly charmed.
I worked today 9 - 3. Everything was finished/sold by 1 in the department so there was absolutely nothing to do. Mr. Krikeles saw me today sporting my green polo. He informed me that he and Matt waited a half an hour for me yesterday after my elusive escape. I laughed considerably, most of which was internal unfortunately. Other than that aforementioned, work had its typical hiijinks but nothing more worth reporting at this present time. Now I sit and "wait," which most likely means sleep like there-is-no-tomorrow-and-a-fiery-grave-awaits-me. I have no recollection of much more than that so...
A movie review for your thoughts...
Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys! (A Sci-Fi Original adaptation of the "Puppet Master" Series)
Plot summary:
The Toulon's are back at it again! This time it's Robert Toulon and his daughter running the show. Then, NEWSFLASH: Sharpe toys wants to kill everyone! Mr. Toulon finds a secret camera hidden in a ladybug toy and his daughter is able to trace it to Sharpe Toys by identifying the fibers of the device and finding a backdoor into the website. The Toulon's have a formula to restore the Toulon family puppet's to their living state. It involves a number of flammable ingredients and two drops of a Toulon's blood. A simple injection into the puppets and voila! LIFE! Sharpe toys now knows this to the chagrin of Mr. Toulon. Two men come from Sharpe that night to take the puppets, the puppets fight back but Six-Shot (Puppet with 6 guns) causes a fire accidentally and the puppets burn. When Mr. Toulon comes in to see what the ruckus is he is abruptly accosted by the flying fist of a masked intruder and is knocked unconscious. The two men leave empty handed but a fire rages engulfing the lab. The daughter comes in and puts out the blaze quickly with an extinguisher and revives her father by spraying him with the extinguisher as well. He calls the police. A female police officer comes and walks into the house without any difficulty or permission, then pulls a gun on the Toulon's. Mr. Toulon tells the officer not to file a report since it would likely jeopardize the custody of his daughter. She agrees and gives him her cellphone number because she thinks he's fine. Back at Sharpe toys, Ms. Sharpe (The deliciously evil Sharpe heir) with the assistance of her reluctant assistant (Friend of her deceased father and former company chief) takes the secretary at the entrance to see the "Board of Directors." They go to some subterranean location after using a special key in the elevator with the insignia of some bloodthirsty cult that encourages demonic worship (Coincidence?) There it is found that the board of Directors is really just a few demonic toys that crave blood and females. After the Toys have a little fun, Ms. Sharpe puts the girl into the blood extractor where she is spiked and drained of blood. The blood goes into a mystical well that summons a devilish demon. The demon apparently has a deal with Ms. Sharpe that will bring her hot-selling Christmas toy (Christmas Pals) to life on Christmas day and kill all the innocent little children, leading to world domination. The demon makes clear that if she doesn't get the Toulon's blood to him by then in exchange, she will be forsaken to a fiery eternity. Meanwhile, the Toulon's leave their shop with the formula and recently repaired toys to the mother's house (Who is on vacation with her wickedly attractive boyfriend in Hawaii) where they can continue the experimentation and plan to find out what really is going on at Sharpe toys. Mr. Toulon concludes after recitation of the Christmas Pals advertising machination that the toys are in actuality demons and will kill everyone. He calls the police officer and finds that she is busy at Sharpe toys today. Ms. Sharpe is receiving an award for charity from the police academy for giving Christmas Pals to impoverished children and families. Mr. Toulon goes to Sharpe toys covertly and finds that the toys really are, in fact, alive!!! he is strangled by a demonic baby but escapes. This is briefly lived however, as the officer arrests him for disorderly conduct and later tells him she will not report the charges if he goes home to be with his daughter. She also says she will "Check up on him later." Holy Smokes! he gets back to the house and finds that the toys are no longer alive. This being that he only used one drop of Toulon's blood since he was squeamish at the fact initially. A new batch is prepared and the toys are refurbished with new weaponry like lasers and super strength modifications for starters! The police officer ultimately goes to the closed shop and finds the demonic toys there. The toys manage to follow her by latching onto her cruiser, then she arrives at the real location of the Toulons. When asked how she found the place she says it was merely some "Detective work." Together the group goes to stop Sharpe Toys but the demonic toy that tagged along gives away the location to his cohorts and they are taken by the company. Ms. Sharpe immediately puts the Toulon daughter in the blood extractor for safe keeping. Ms. Sharpe then requests that Mr. Toulon accept her mercy sex and impregnate her immediately. He vehemently declines and wants to find his daughter instead oddly enough. She leaves mr. Toulon and her assistant enters soon after holding a Jack in the Box containing a demonic toy. He gives Mr. Toulon the key to the elevator and says he's the "only hope." Then the demonic toy comes out of the box and causes the assistant's eyes to explode with a high pitched frequency. (As to why the assistant brought the toy with him, it is unknown.) With only minutes before Christmas Day, Mr. Toulon enters the chamber. A dramatic fight sequence ensues and ultimately the puppets defeat the demonic board members. The demon is summoned to witness the extraction of his much desired Toulon blood, however the puppets disable the machine and Christmas Morning comes and goes. The demon becomes angry and takes Ms. Sharpe to the underworld to rot. The world is saved. Fin.
The Goods:
Mr. Toulon's acting...(Hint: My interpretation of "good" acting)
One-liners as always.
The implementation of sex in one way or another.
The Jester Puppet does virtually nothing. It made me feel good.
The demonic baby toy uses flatulence to propel himself and refers to it as "burning the rhinestone."
Chemicals!
Batman-esque assumptions.
The Sharpe assistant's hairdo.
The Not so Good:
Not enough gore nor death.
The other actors were not nearly as "convincing"
Not enough demonic toys.
Not enough sex or nudity (IN fact a big zero aside from innuendo and so forth.)
Not enough death nor gore.
RATING (Out of 5): (With natural bias accounted for)
If you were me and saw this movie: (2.5/5)
If you were you and saw this movie: (1/5)
If you actually have respect for the movie business: (-0/5)
If you were a fan of the Puppet Master series: (2/5)
If you directed this movie: (2/5)
Other Suggested Titles:
Retro Puppetmaster
Child's Play
Trilogy of Terror
Baby Geniuses
Walking Tall: Featuring WWE's The ROCK!
Conclusion,
My DVD sets are still not here yet. This is mildly upsetting.
So I disappear...
(but a portion of my face doesn't go with me...hmm...riddle me that)
I worked today 9 - 3. Everything was finished/sold by 1 in the department so there was absolutely nothing to do. Mr. Krikeles saw me today sporting my green polo. He informed me that he and Matt waited a half an hour for me yesterday after my elusive escape. I laughed considerably, most of which was internal unfortunately. Other than that aforementioned, work had its typical hiijinks but nothing more worth reporting at this present time. Now I sit and "wait," which most likely means sleep like there-is-no-tomorrow-and-a-fiery-grave-awaits-me. I have no recollection of much more than that so...
A movie review for your thoughts...
Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys! (A Sci-Fi Original adaptation of the "Puppet Master" Series)
Plot summary:
The Toulon's are back at it again! This time it's Robert Toulon and his daughter running the show. Then, NEWSFLASH: Sharpe toys wants to kill everyone! Mr. Toulon finds a secret camera hidden in a ladybug toy and his daughter is able to trace it to Sharpe Toys by identifying the fibers of the device and finding a backdoor into the website. The Toulon's have a formula to restore the Toulon family puppet's to their living state. It involves a number of flammable ingredients and two drops of a Toulon's blood. A simple injection into the puppets and voila! LIFE! Sharpe toys now knows this to the chagrin of Mr. Toulon. Two men come from Sharpe that night to take the puppets, the puppets fight back but Six-Shot (Puppet with 6 guns) causes a fire accidentally and the puppets burn. When Mr. Toulon comes in to see what the ruckus is he is abruptly accosted by the flying fist of a masked intruder and is knocked unconscious. The two men leave empty handed but a fire rages engulfing the lab. The daughter comes in and puts out the blaze quickly with an extinguisher and revives her father by spraying him with the extinguisher as well. He calls the police. A female police officer comes and walks into the house without any difficulty or permission, then pulls a gun on the Toulon's. Mr. Toulon tells the officer not to file a report since it would likely jeopardize the custody of his daughter. She agrees and gives him her cellphone number because she thinks he's fine. Back at Sharpe toys, Ms. Sharpe (The deliciously evil Sharpe heir) with the assistance of her reluctant assistant (Friend of her deceased father and former company chief) takes the secretary at the entrance to see the "Board of Directors." They go to some subterranean location after using a special key in the elevator with the insignia of some bloodthirsty cult that encourages demonic worship (Coincidence?) There it is found that the board of Directors is really just a few demonic toys that crave blood and females. After the Toys have a little fun, Ms. Sharpe puts the girl into the blood extractor where she is spiked and drained of blood. The blood goes into a mystical well that summons a devilish demon. The demon apparently has a deal with Ms. Sharpe that will bring her hot-selling Christmas toy (Christmas Pals) to life on Christmas day and kill all the innocent little children, leading to world domination. The demon makes clear that if she doesn't get the Toulon's blood to him by then in exchange, she will be forsaken to a fiery eternity. Meanwhile, the Toulon's leave their shop with the formula and recently repaired toys to the mother's house (Who is on vacation with her wickedly attractive boyfriend in Hawaii) where they can continue the experimentation and plan to find out what really is going on at Sharpe toys. Mr. Toulon concludes after recitation of the Christmas Pals advertising machination that the toys are in actuality demons and will kill everyone. He calls the police officer and finds that she is busy at Sharpe toys today. Ms. Sharpe is receiving an award for charity from the police academy for giving Christmas Pals to impoverished children and families. Mr. Toulon goes to Sharpe toys covertly and finds that the toys really are, in fact, alive!!! he is strangled by a demonic baby but escapes. This is briefly lived however, as the officer arrests him for disorderly conduct and later tells him she will not report the charges if he goes home to be with his daughter. She also says she will "Check up on him later." Holy Smokes! he gets back to the house and finds that the toys are no longer alive. This being that he only used one drop of Toulon's blood since he was squeamish at the fact initially. A new batch is prepared and the toys are refurbished with new weaponry like lasers and super strength modifications for starters! The police officer ultimately goes to the closed shop and finds the demonic toys there. The toys manage to follow her by latching onto her cruiser, then she arrives at the real location of the Toulons. When asked how she found the place she says it was merely some "Detective work." Together the group goes to stop Sharpe Toys but the demonic toy that tagged along gives away the location to his cohorts and they are taken by the company. Ms. Sharpe immediately puts the Toulon daughter in the blood extractor for safe keeping. Ms. Sharpe then requests that Mr. Toulon accept her mercy sex and impregnate her immediately. He vehemently declines and wants to find his daughter instead oddly enough. She leaves mr. Toulon and her assistant enters soon after holding a Jack in the Box containing a demonic toy. He gives Mr. Toulon the key to the elevator and says he's the "only hope." Then the demonic toy comes out of the box and causes the assistant's eyes to explode with a high pitched frequency. (As to why the assistant brought the toy with him, it is unknown.) With only minutes before Christmas Day, Mr. Toulon enters the chamber. A dramatic fight sequence ensues and ultimately the puppets defeat the demonic board members. The demon is summoned to witness the extraction of his much desired Toulon blood, however the puppets disable the machine and Christmas Morning comes and goes. The demon becomes angry and takes Ms. Sharpe to the underworld to rot. The world is saved. Fin.
The Goods:
Mr. Toulon's acting...(Hint: My interpretation of "good" acting)
One-liners as always.
The implementation of sex in one way or another.
The Jester Puppet does virtually nothing. It made me feel good.
The demonic baby toy uses flatulence to propel himself and refers to it as "burning the rhinestone."
Chemicals!
Batman-esque assumptions.
The Sharpe assistant's hairdo.
The Not so Good:
Not enough gore nor death.
The other actors were not nearly as "convincing"
Not enough demonic toys.
Not enough sex or nudity (IN fact a big zero aside from innuendo and so forth.)
Not enough death nor gore.
RATING (Out of 5): (With natural bias accounted for)
If you were me and saw this movie: (2.5/5)
If you were you and saw this movie: (1/5)
If you actually have respect for the movie business: (-0/5)
If you were a fan of the Puppet Master series: (2/5)
If you directed this movie: (2/5)
Other Suggested Titles:
Retro Puppetmaster
Child's Play
Trilogy of Terror
Baby Geniuses
Walking Tall: Featuring WWE's The ROCK!
Conclusion,
My DVD sets are still not here yet. This is mildly upsetting.
So I disappear...
(but a portion of my face doesn't go with me...hmm...riddle me that)