day fifty-eight: sick. home from work. so i marathon horror films & make weird world graphics.
N AN O W R I M O 2 0 1 3:
It’s been six years since the road trip. Six years since Charlie and Robbie settled down and started new lives. But the relative peace they’ve found is about to be disrupted: by murder, unforeseen revelations, and a mysterious book. This time they’re pursued by more than hungry shadows. This time the threat has a name. And this time the trail will take them far from home. And who knows what will be waiting for them at journey’s end.
Weird, World: the sequel to Weird, USA.
Featuring:
• Emma Stone as Charlie Hawthorne
• Nicholas Hoult as Robbie Beechum
• Tyler Posey as Alberto Fontana
• Devon Aoki as Akiko
• Jamie Loy as Annie Palehorse
• Randeep Hooda as Jaswinder Sharma
• Milla Jovovich as Elisabeta Volos
• Gary Oldman as Alyosha Kovalenko
And just for shits and giggles, here's a recap on my 31 Horrors in 31 Days thus far.
04 of 31 Horrors: Puppet Monster Massacre (2010) - A group of teens are challenged to spend a night in the Wagner mansion on the edge of town. Little do they know the owner has concocted a monstrosity in the basement.
It’s a send-up to the monster flicks that made the 80s so great - there’s a spooky mansion, a monster in the basement, and Nazis behind everything (because of course there’s Nazis behind everything). It’s just that the entire cast is made of felt. It’s rude, it’s crude, and it’s full of profanity, puppet sex, and sprays of blood. Utterly ludicrous, stupid fun.
05 of 31 Horrors: Tremors (1990) - Nothing ever happens in the tiny desert town of Perfection. That is, anyway, until subterranean monsters begin attacking the unsuspecting inhabitants. Suddenly the odd-job men Earl and Val find themselves leading the rag-tag survivors in a bid for safety. But how can you escape when the monsters know every move you make, and can drag you underground before you can run three steps?
Another film that helped define my childhood - while other people may associate Kevin Bacon with Footloose, he’ll forever be Valentine McKee in my books. Just a solidly fun creature feature with some likable characters and hilarious moments. When the Graboids try to take on survivalist Burt Gummer, they certainly choose the wrong goddamned rec room.
06 of 31 Horrors: The Prophecy (1995) - The angel Gabriel comes to earth to collect the most evil soul known to man in an effort to win a long stalemated war between the angels in heaven. Only Thomas, a man who left the priesthood to become a cop, and Katherine, a school teacher, can stop him.
JFC, THIS MOVIE. Christopher Walken plays the angel Gabriel in his trademark uncanny valley way; Elias Koteas is great as the cop whose faith has been long tested; Virginia Madsen is fierce as Katherine; Eric Stoltz is compelling as the angel Simon - but everyone is truly playing second-fiddle to the mesmerizing Viggo Mortensen, whose Lucifer is UNBELIEVABLY GREAT. No other Lucifer truly compares, not even Peter Stormare’s . This series comes from the same folks who masterminded the Hellraiser franchise, and has the same wonderfully unsettling aesthetics and mythological twists. There are plenty of uncomfortable moments to be had, but it all leads up to a really satisfying ending. Potent stuff.
07 of 31 Horrors: Tremors II: Aftershocks (1996) - Earl Bassett heads to Mexico, where the subterranean Graboids are wreaking havoc at an oil refinery. With the help of eternal optimist Grady and survival nut Burt Gummer, Earl soon finds that the monsters still have a few tricks to play.
I unreservedly love the entire Tremors series - including the ridiculous TV show. And while the first will always be the best and first in my affections, this follow-up is still plenty fun. There’s great dialogue, zany characters, and some entertaining action pieces. And you’ve got to love a sequel that fully acknowledges that it’s a sequel: poor Grady is constantly referred to as “the new guy”, since Kevin Bacon was too busy being a bankable actor in Hollywood to reprise his role of Valentine McKee. And while it would’ve been nice to see Kevin/Val back, Earl and Burt do a great job of bridging the two stories, and I quite like Grady. Just a charming no-brainer of a flick.
08 of 31 Horrors: Sleepy Hollow (1999) - Constable Ichabod Crane is sent to the hamlet of Sleepy Hollow to investigate a rash of beheadings. But when this man of science discovers that the legends of a Headless Horseman are true, he’ll have to rely on the help of some witchy women to stop the supernatural fiend.
Yes, it’s a stereotypical Tim Burton flick, starring Johnny Depp and heavy on the black and white, symbolism, and supernatural beasties. But I love everything this movie chooses to be - I always admire a film that fully commits to its aesthetics, and you’d be hard-pressed to find a gothic picture that embraces its roots more than Sleepy Hollow. Depp is fabulous as the overwrought Ichabod, intended to be a send-up to the melodrama of Hammer Horror and who, fun fact, faints SIX TIMES: four times more often than his leading lady. Christina Ricci is lovely as the ethereal Katrina, and the supporting cast is rife with horror/scifi notables. A forever favorite.
09 of 31 Horrors: The Thing (2011) - A science team in Antarctica uncovers an alien spacecraft - and an alien life-form. But when the thing escapes its icy cocoon, the humans quickly realize that they’re no longer at the top of the food chain. And that anyone can be the thing in disguise.
A prequel to John Carpenter’s classic, this film suffers from an overabundance of CGI at the expense of the physical sfx that made the original so great, as well as a dearth of likeable characters or the sense of biting paranoia that provided the horror in the original. An alright flick if you just want some gooey alien carnage, but it never commits fully to being a true homage to the original OR tries to blaze its own path as a distinct story. Too samey-samey in some places and too empty in others.
10 of 31 Horrors: John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982) - A routine day for an American science team in Antarctica is disrupted when a helicopter from a nearby Norwegian base arrives and the men on board begin wildly shooting at a fleeing dog. In the following chaos, the Americans discover that the Norwegians found something in the ice: an alien creature that can mimic any living thing. In the following days, the men descend into paranoia and violent madness as they try to determine who is, or isn’t, the Thing.
I know everyone raves about Alien, and for good reason. But for me, my most formative alien-based horror flick was this little beauty. You just can’t beat Kurt Russell’s hero MacReady, a fine supporting cast that includes Keith David and Wilford Brimley, the INCREDIBLE physical special effects of Rob Bottin, and pulsating music from Ennio Morricone. Just an all-around shocker and nail-biter, and forever a fave.
11 of 31 Horrors: The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) - A maniac has escaped from a nearby mental institution and attacks a group of teenagers during a slumber party, using a drill as his weapon of choice.
You can’t beat Roger Corman when it comes to low-budge horror fun. There are some really crazy gore sequences, several inventive deaths, and one of the more satisfying endings I’ve seen in a slasher flick. And to think: it was written by Rita Mae Brown (of the Sneaky Pie Brown mysteries!).
12 of 31 Horrors: The Prophecy II (1998) - A young woman is chosen to carry a nephilim - a child half-angel, half-human - that will unite the warring angels of heaven. Gabriel is determined to stop this from coming to pass, at all costs.
I can’t even fully explain my love for this series: it’s essentially one of the most depressing franchises out there, with everyone suffering terribly and either going mad or dying tragically, if not by the end credits than in the opening of the next film. But I really fancy the fire and brimstone aesthetics, the darker take on angels, and Christopher Walken is always fab as Gabriel. Plus this one has hottie Russell Wong as Danyael, so how can I possibly resist?