they're sharpening their knives.
NEW LIFE GOALS:
• Become an Animagus. Turn into a slug or cat or crow or octopode or hedgepig. Never look back.
• Learn how to bodyswap. Borrow Lucy Liu's body for a day just to know what it feels like to be that perfect.
• Turn into an Addams -- Morticia or Wednesday, either works.
• Run away to Scotland or New Zealand or Nova Scotia or Norway or Washington state. Completely reinvent myself, go under a different name, live like a spy and have an adventure to keep me warm in my old age.
• Embrace my inner child-devouring, gingerbread house witch and become the creepy spinster all of the neighborhood chillens are terrified of.
Some people have been asking me for horror movie recs (totallybalanced, I am looking at YOU) since 'tis the season and all. So here are a few. In fact, just check out the entire horror tag over at film_flammers. I know most of those will be old hat to people, but just in case.
Also recommended:
• The Shrine, which is currently streaming on Netflix -- it's super low budge, and the first hour isn't anything very special. But the last twenty minutes? AMAZING. There's a great twist that I shan't spoil, and some genuinely creepy shit in the film's climax.
• Attack the Block, because alien invasion flicks totes count as Halloween fare. I love so many things about this film. The cast of young unknowns are BRILLS. The fact that the focus is on an innercity youth gang, who are first shown as the threat before becoming the saviors. The cinematography is GORGEOUS, the music courtesy of Basement Jaxx is wonderful, and the aliens themselves? Best design/execution I've seen IN YEARS.
• The Perfect Getaway, a psychological thriller with several twists and a REALLY pretty/awesome cast. Milla Jovovich, Steve Zahn, Timothy Oh-yes-please-yphant, and Chris Hemsworth? In drop-dead gorgeous, sunny Hawaii? YES, PLEASE. FOREVER. It takes a while to get going, but has IMMENSE rewatch value when you go back and realize every single moment was important.
• Rebecca, which isn't scary but IS brilliantly gothic and darkly lush. Atmospheric and perfect for fall weather watching, with a great cast and great story. Based on Daphne du Maurier's classic romance and directed by Alfred Hitchcock, this was the only movie to get Hitch a directing Oscar.
• Last of the Living, a super low budge Kiwi zombie flick that's available on Netflix streaming. Funny but still very dark, charming in its ridiculousness. Has a wallop of an ending, too.
• The Crazies with Timothy Olyphant, but ONLY if you want to feel really sick and anxious. I love me some apocalyptic cinema, but this shit is almost too hardcore and brutal even for me. Though Timothy IS brilliant in it.
• Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil!!!! ALAN TUDYK AND TYLER LABINE AS REDNECKS WITH HEARTS OF GOLD. And some crazy/stupid co-eds who get themselves killed in horrifically funny ways on their "summer property". SO FUNNY. And just a wonderful twist on the old horror trope.
