the lovers, the dreamers, and me.
I sobbed three times.
Each time was thanks to Kermit being Kermit; the same Kermit I knew and loved and laughed with when I was four years old sitting in front of the TV with a bowl of Cheerios and a sippy-cup full of milk. Oh my God, Kermit the Frog, you are such a beacon of goodness and kindness and hope and love in this oft times dark, cynical, cruel world.
It's sort of silly to get this emotional over characters made of felt and puppet strings, but... My God, there have been few characters as inherently good and kind and silly and sincere as the Muppets. And Kermit is their king, and he will always rule my heart.
I got misty-eyed in the intro, when Walter was talking about his childhood and growing up and realizing he was different than everyone else -- the montage of him finding the Muppets and falling in love with them, getting all the merchandise for his birthdays, dressing up as Kermit for Halloween (OH MY GOD I TEARED UP SO HARD RIGHT THERE WHEN HE SAID, "HI HO, EVERYONE!" AND THEY LAUGHED AT HIM, OH, BABY, LET ME HUG YOU) -- hit such a chord with me it was positively ridiculous. Oh, Walter... You spoke for me and the other fangirl/boy outcasts who were always mocked for our deep and abiding loves. When we found our Muppets, even if they were wizards-in-training or Time Lords running through space or young Avatars struggling to balance the world, we held onto them like Walter did because they became like family to us: they symbolized everything we thought was best, brightest, and most beautiful in the world, and we looked up to them as role models.
Kermit the Frog has easily been one of the best role models a kid could hope to have for nearly 40 years. He has his flaws, of course he does, because he's a real person in a very real sense -- he can get too focused on the bigger picture and neglect smaller, important things, as Miss Piggy will always point out. But he has a great sense of humor. He always speaks out about what's right, and even when he's in uncomfortable situations, he always sticks things through to the end. He understands what it is to be a family, and to work hard to achieve things, and he knows the importance of trying even if you fail. Because when you try, you don't truly fail. And when he delivered that speech on the stairs at the end I was fucking losing it. Oh, Kermie...
The tears really started as he walked through his empty house in Bel-Air and started to reminisce about the gang in his first song. Because as Kermit was looking at all of those paintings of Gonzo and Fozzie Bear and the Band, remembering all of the good times they used to have together, I was doing the exact same thing. All of those times Gonzo the Great shot himself into walls with a shower of plaster... Fozzie's terrible but well-meaning jokes and infallible cheerfulness... The Band's snarky comments and their constant willingness to play no matter what the situation. How many episodes of this show did I soak up as a child? How many times have I watched Muppet Treasure Island and sung the theme song? My first awareness of actors was through this show -- I remember being shocked to see Luke Skywalker appear in an old re-run, only to find that he was actually a guy named Mark Hamill. Sure, it could be disillusioning for a very small child, realizing that the characters I loved in movies weren't actually real, only performances by actors. But the actors seemed as cool as the people they pretended to be, and they were cooking with the Swedish chef, or suffering karate chops from Miss Piggy with comical goodwill. Maybe the actors themselves were just as interesting and praiseworthy as the parts they played.
And then Kermit and Piggy had to sing "The Rainbow Connection". The curtains pull up and there's Kermit sitting on his log with his trusty banjo slung over his shoulder. Tears. Streaming. Down. My. Face. Taken at its most basic, it's a cheesy song that has a message that's been done a million times in more sophisticated ways. But: It's "The Rainbow Connection". It's Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy. I will never be immune to its charms, and it will always make me cry. And every time I hear that song, I can't help but think that Jim Henson is probably sitting up in heaven with John Lennon and they're just being the coolest guys ever; probably because "The Rainbow Connection" and "Imagine" are so full of the same love and hope and optimism.
Because that's what the Muppets are, boiled down to their most basic essence: Love, hope, and optimism, with plenty of humor and laughter thrown in. THEY GIVE US THE THIRD GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD: LAUGHTER. The Muppets are all about good-natured fun -- there's never anything spiteful or truly mocking in their humor, even with Statler and Waldorf's indispensable snark. They rely more on the physical comedy, the absurd and the outrageous, or the just plain silly. And that humor was everywhere in this movie; my especially favourite scene was the Barbershop Quartet with Jack Black, mainly because Beaker will never not be hilarious and amazing. MEE MEE MEE MO! And dear God in heaven, but the faces Kermit makes and his flaily arms will never stop being amazing. When he discovered they had kidnapped Jack Black, HIS FACES. And his constant, "KIDNAPPING JACK BLACK IS WORSE!" So dead. Dying all over the place. The cleaning montage where the Swedish Chef promptly blowtorched the entire fridge, C R Y I N G. AND CAMILLA AND THE CHICKENS BAWKING TO CEE-LO'S "FUCK YOU", SO PRICELESS.
Perhaps my favourite Muppet-lite moment in the movie beyond the emotional opener was Gary and Walter's song. "If I'm a Muppet, I'm a very manly Muppet. And if I'm a man, I'm a Muppet of a maaaan!" So priceless, so dramatic. I was pleasantly surprised by Jason Segel, since I've never been extremely partial to his style of comedy before; but it was so obvious from the get go that this was a true labor of love for him, and that he was just like the rest of us: desperate to pay homage to the Muppets and bring them back into the spotlight, exactly where they're meant to be.
I feel like one of the biggest themes in the movie was how important it was to have positive, uplifting, and wholesome entertainment like the Muppets in our lives. Rashida Jones was brilliant as the cutthroat television exec, and when she explained that the Muppets were no longer relevant, that their style was passe and no one wanted to watch shows like theirs any more, I died a little inside. Because it's true: look at all of the horribly nasty reality shows and cop procedurals focused on rape and murder, and the kids programs that are full of violence or stupidity, and the paranormal "romances" that are all about erotic danger and darkness. If you were to actually comb today's TV and try to find a show that even came CLOSE to the same joy and tone of The Muppet Show, the best choice would be Parks & Recs. Which is for adults, not specifically aimed at children! How sad is that? Children today are given either boring, bland, or downright stupid programs or shows that are super violent or "edgy". My brother is only six years younger than me, but his generation and those that have followed it didn't have the Muppets. In wracking my brain the closest show I can think of is Avatar: The Last Airbender, and even then that was a show that was focused on epic quests and fighting and war/darkness. There hasn't been a show as solely focused on silliness and pleasant comedy for years. THIS BREAKS MY HEART.
Every time someone in the movie said that the Muppets were finished, that no one liked them any more, that they were old news, I teared up. Because NO! THIS SHOULD NOT BE RIGHT. The Muppets mean so much to me, and so much to thousands of other people, and they were good for us. They taught us important moral lessons without ever coming across as too preachy, and there was TONS of factual information in that show besides the comedy. I really hope that this movie leads to a resurgence of interest in the Muppets -- maybe a new show, or channels re-running the old episodes, or future movies? They shouldn't be allowed to fade back into obscurity again, and I can't say enough nice things about Jason Segel for fighting to make a new Muppet movie.
And it was such a Muppet movie. Everyone was there! Cameos galore! The "Munamanah!" song over the end credits, yessss. And the entire gang felt like themselves, if that makes any sense? I noticed that Fozzie's eyebrows were a little grayer, but beyond that they all rang completely true and felt like they had just stepped out of my past.
But yeah. Basically this entire movie was just the biggest nostalgia tear-fest for me. I felt a ton of feeeeelings, and I cried many creys, and I left the theatre with a stupid smile on my face. I asked Alex if he had liked it, and he said "Yeah, it was good." But I could tell it didn't mean half as much as him as it did to me. Only six years between us and he doesn't know the Muppets beyond Kermit and Miss Piggy. And that makes me a little sad, but it also makes me want to find as many episodes of the old show as I can and convince him to watch them with me. Because it's Kermit the Frog, and Miss Piggy, and Dr. Bunsen and Beaker, Gonzo and Fozzie Bear, Animal and Sam the Eagle and Scooter and Pepe the Prawn. These guys are brilliant and wonderful and hilarious, and even though they're made of felt and puppet strings, they shine out like singing beacons of hope while the rest of the world seems to get darker and crueler. We have to hold on to the things that make us smile, sing, and dream; we should strive to be lovers and dreamers.
Bless Jim Henson and his crew for giving us that in a kid's show with puppets.
FACT: THIS PICTURE WILL MAKE ME SOB EVERY TIME I SEE IT.
CASE IN POINT: THE TEARS CURRENTLY STREAMING DOWN MY FACE.
EDIT!: I just found this quote and it's too perfect not to include.
"However, even my hate-fueled criticism can’t touch the Muppets. The Muppets aren’t just lovable, they’re pure anti-hate. They’re so thoroughly not cynical that hating the Muppets is like hating rainbows or fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies or getting to sleep in. People don’t just love the Muppets, the Muppets are love incarnate."
--Lou Schumaker