as much as i cannot stand reading new year's entries, i must make one of my own....
it has been said that 2004 was a year of transition. ask amongst yourselves, and the general consensus will be the same: something dramatic has occurred; something life-altering and earth shaking. my head hurts as i attempt to file away every instance of sorrow, joy and indifference.
i have been vaguely transient, making my home in a variety of cities and states; past residencies accumulating rapidly. i have followed my heart into many disastrous situations, though, in some cases, the dust has yet to settle, leaving the magnitude of the wreckage unknown. many attempts to escape my situation left me feeling a failure. 'where-ever you go, there you are' is a terrible cliche, but an applicable one nonetheless. the compulsive need to find a change of scenery has left me helpless in coping with my own emotional maladies; only my immediate needs placated.
between those boys to whom i found myself attached to my mother debacle, i am growing colder; harder. love and loss have been the common themes running through my life this year. as i succumbed to further introspection, i have severed ties to many i once held dear. removing myself from situations detrimental to my well being may be yet another theme of 2004.
i have walked away, slightly burdened. less pessimistic, yet less optimistic. indifference is perhaps the quickest route to solitude.
i have been vaguely transient, making my home in a variety of cities and states; past residencies accumulating rapidly. i have followed my heart into many disastrous situations, though, in some cases, the dust has yet to settle, leaving the magnitude of the wreckage unknown. many attempts to escape my situation left me feeling a failure. 'where-ever you go, there you are' is a terrible cliche, but an applicable one nonetheless. the compulsive need to find a change of scenery has left me helpless in coping with my own emotional maladies; only my immediate needs placated.
between those boys to whom i found myself attached to my mother debacle, i am growing colder; harder. love and loss have been the common themes running through my life this year. as i succumbed to further introspection, i have severed ties to many i once held dear. removing myself from situations detrimental to my well being may be yet another theme of 2004.
i have walked away, slightly burdened. less pessimistic, yet less optimistic. indifference is perhaps the quickest route to solitude.