Hey Four-eyes!
I recently heard about a theory regarding the prevalence of bad eyesight in the human race. A lot of people need glasses and contacts nowadays. The reason for this is because back in the stone age the males that could see well would go out hunting during the day, while the ones with poor eyesight would stay in the cave and have hot, sweaty, and grunty sex with all the cavewomen.
After thinking about it for a while i realized this theory also explains why there are ugly people in the human race today. Picture this: Thag the Squinter starts his day ready for some sweet, sweet cave sex. All the males that can actually see two feet in front of them are out hunting the mighty Stegosaurus. Thag has all day to screw the caveladies.
Today Thag plans on fucking Zug the Cave Vixen, but because of his poor eyesight he makes a mistake and ends up sleeping with Ugh the Dogfaced She-beast.
Nine months later Ugh gives birth to a liter of near-sighted, ugly cavebabies. A new generation of half-blind hideous humans is ready to start the cycle all over again.
After thinking about it for a while i realized this theory also explains why there are ugly people in the human race today. Picture this: Thag the Squinter starts his day ready for some sweet, sweet cave sex. All the males that can actually see two feet in front of them are out hunting the mighty Stegosaurus. Thag has all day to screw the caveladies.
Today Thag plans on fucking Zug the Cave Vixen, but because of his poor eyesight he makes a mistake and ends up sleeping with Ugh the Dogfaced She-beast.
Nine months later Ugh gives birth to a liter of near-sighted, ugly cavebabies. A new generation of half-blind hideous humans is ready to start the cycle all over again.