A Christmas Rant
Today's Rant: Inflatable Lawn Decorations
Fuck inflatable lawn decorations. If you or your family, or your friends have inflatable lawn decorations; I hate you and you deserve to have every pubic hair on your body ripped out by an inebriated Edward Sissorhands.
Theres even an inflatable manger scene, just in time for christmas, which of course means theres an inflatable jesus. If you can put an inflatable jesus on your front lawn without it being some kind of joke then you're beyond retarded. Eats paint chips and washes it down with a near fatal dose of Draino retarded.
A few years ago my brother and me had a plan to drive around with a BB gun and shoot every inflatable lawn decoration we found. The only thing that stopped us was fear of arrest, and the belief that inflatable lawn decorations were going to be short lived trend. Nothing as fucking ugly and tasteless as inflatable lawn decorations could be long for this world. Yet here we are, a good five years later, and inflatable lawn decorations are still going strong.
Justice must be done. Everyone load up your Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle and ride.
Fuck inflatable lawn decorations. If you or your family, or your friends have inflatable lawn decorations; I hate you and you deserve to have every pubic hair on your body ripped out by an inebriated Edward Sissorhands.
Theres even an inflatable manger scene, just in time for christmas, which of course means theres an inflatable jesus. If you can put an inflatable jesus on your front lawn without it being some kind of joke then you're beyond retarded. Eats paint chips and washes it down with a near fatal dose of Draino retarded.
A few years ago my brother and me had a plan to drive around with a BB gun and shoot every inflatable lawn decoration we found. The only thing that stopped us was fear of arrest, and the belief that inflatable lawn decorations were going to be short lived trend. Nothing as fucking ugly and tasteless as inflatable lawn decorations could be long for this world. Yet here we are, a good five years later, and inflatable lawn decorations are still going strong.
Justice must be done. Everyone load up your Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle and ride.