(no subject)
Well I had a nice, long entry typed up, but I lost it.
While I was doing it I was looking for a new email
since I haven't been getting ones from people, I
happened upon rock.com and it downloaded a billion
viruses and spyware onto my computer. So right now I'm
just working to get all that out. I can barely get anything to run (and
when it does, it's chug chug chug) and I'm actually
writing this in notepad.
Here's my alternate email- zombiemonkey83@hotmail.com
I'm also still using my old one. So if you'd like to try emailing me again (please?) this address should work.
I want to apologize about my last entry, I know I
sounded like a total asshole in it. I don't mean any
of it though, sometimes I just type/talk before I
think. Honestly though, you guys that have stood by me
as much as you can through this mean more to me than
you'll probably ever know. Some of my friends that
don't even live in the same country as me have shown
more loyalty and love then people (ok, mainly guys)
that have told me they "loved me" here.
Two nights in a row I've gone into what we can only
call right now is a seizure. I'm laying in bed, then I
become insanely dizzy. I start hearing loud voices in
my ear, but I can't make out what they're saying. I
become paralyzed and basically panick my ass off until
it passes. I thought this all took a few seconds but
it turns out I black out for about an hour.
I turn 21 in less than a month, and it just got me
thinking. I'm not where I want to be in life. I'm in
the hospital, I'm at any number of doctor offices, and
still at home. Sometimes I even use a cane because my
legs get so weak. I'm going on anti depressants and
seeing a psychologist again soon. Despite all that, I
have so much hope. I don't know if it's optimism or
just stupidity, but there it is.
On another note, I've now seen 7 Godard films and haven't seen Pauly Shore in anything in years, aren't you proud of me?
While I was doing it I was looking for a new email
since I haven't been getting ones from people, I
happened upon rock.com and it downloaded a billion
viruses and spyware onto my computer. So right now I'm
just working to get all that out. I can barely get anything to run (and
when it does, it's chug chug chug) and I'm actually
writing this in notepad.
Here's my alternate email- zombiemonkey83@hotmail.com
I'm also still using my old one. So if you'd like to try emailing me again (please?) this address should work.
I want to apologize about my last entry, I know I
sounded like a total asshole in it. I don't mean any
of it though, sometimes I just type/talk before I
think. Honestly though, you guys that have stood by me
as much as you can through this mean more to me than
you'll probably ever know. Some of my friends that
don't even live in the same country as me have shown
more loyalty and love then people (ok, mainly guys)
that have told me they "loved me" here.
Two nights in a row I've gone into what we can only
call right now is a seizure. I'm laying in bed, then I
become insanely dizzy. I start hearing loud voices in
my ear, but I can't make out what they're saying. I
become paralyzed and basically panick my ass off until
it passes. I thought this all took a few seconds but
it turns out I black out for about an hour.
I turn 21 in less than a month, and it just got me
thinking. I'm not where I want to be in life. I'm in
the hospital, I'm at any number of doctor offices, and
still at home. Sometimes I even use a cane because my
legs get so weak. I'm going on anti depressants and
seeing a psychologist again soon. Despite all that, I
have so much hope. I don't know if it's optimism or
just stupidity, but there it is.
On another note, I've now seen 7 Godard films and haven't seen Pauly Shore in anything in years, aren't you proud of me?