(no subject)
Sometimes I see people on the street and think about their lives, and if they're old I wonder if they have regrets. My biggest fear is having regrets, looking back on my life and wanting more and wondering why I did not do the things I should have. There are already a few things I look back on and wish I could change, mainly the way I used to treat people and the way I take things for granted and don't tell people what I'm feeling when they should know. There are some people who I want to talk with for hours and learn everything about them and just sit together and be content. There are some people I think about all the time and worry and wonder and hope they're okay and that they're doing what they want. But where we are and where we want to be are almost always two very different places and it's hard to find balance to suit yourself and impossible to find one to suit everyone around you. Life is short. I am older in my mind than my situation allows; I can't do what I want yet, and sometimes this is bothersome, but it really doesn't get in the way that much because I have much bigger plans that can wait for the coming years because they have to. So they will wait and the people who understand are the ones worth waiting for and in the end I hope it doesn't work out the way I imagine because change is good and people don't realize that enough. Sitting in cold apartments, cross-legged and facing each other eating take-out from cardboard boxes and watching the sun rise.