(no subject)
It's been a while, eh? Well, yes, I'm alive. There.
I'll probably be posting more if I can drag my ass back to the internet. just, so busy, and there are honestly other things I'd rather do than post constantly. HOWEVER, my new job, Wal*Mart has left me with quite a few interesting stories (Funny and otherwise...Terrence's vague attempt to hit on me, Roach lady, etc.), and probably will continue to do so. SO, I'll at least TRY to put some of them down. Other news: My mom is getting a car, and I am becoming continually frustrated at my feeble movements into the world of modding VegaStrike...DAMN THEIR UNPROFESSIONALISM!!! PICK AN ENGINE AND WORK WITH IT, I SAY!! 3 MODEL TYPES AND 2 CONVERTERS ARE FAR TOO MUCH FOR A N00B TO HANDLE!!!
So, a few short tales from the LAND OF THE RETAIL NAZI'S!!!
1. Wal*mart Stories, the prequel: The circumstances.
I am a cashier at the Carrollton Wal*Mart. My first day of OTJ training was the day before mother's day, and I was practically left alone to figure everything out. As a result of that day and the last month of work, I have a new respect for those that work retail. IT IS NOT EASY. IT IS NOT SIMPLE. THERE'S A REASON WE'RE PAID SO WELL. Just a short, short list of the things we must learn how to do:
Handle Wic transfers
cash checks
food stamps
food stamp tender
how to suspend and continue transactions
what is and isn't a valid form of ID (And be able to recognize them at a
glance)
Check cards
paying a bill
the best way to deal with an EBT cards
what items to deactivate
how to call a price check (and remember department numbers)
distinguishing between fruits for the lookup table (Seriously, this can
get goddamn impossible. cucumber = zuchinni, tangerine =
peaches, xl cantelope = regular cantelope)
procedures for dealing with drunk customers
procedures for possible third party transactions
what to do if a scale stops working
how to jury rig a scale so that it kinda/sorta works (and how to jury rig
everything else for that matter
how to override a price for a comp ad
how to override a price for a mislabel
what changes may be made to a reciept
what to do if a check doesn't go through correctly
dealing with faulty machinery (hehe...I hate this...too much)
all of this while smiling, talking, watching for shoplifters, and bagging items.
BLAH!
Also, All of the cashiers are either a. female or b. gay. literally. There's one straight guy working a register every now and then.
2. Terrence....
Okay, this was an odd one, but one that I believe has been dealt with effectively. Terrence is one of the other cashiers, and one of the more "fabulous" of them. I didn't really think too much of it at first, he didn't seem intrusive, so I thought there was no harm at all. However, last week when going to lunch, I bought some of the deli sandwiches and went through his line, since he was working #1 at the time, and I was hungry. While there, he mentioned when I came in the previous night with Anz, Lee, and Rachel. The dialogue went something like this:
T: "I saw you yesterday, you looked good!"
B: *Thinking*"Oh yeah, I thought I saw you working a register"
T: "You look good in black, it suits you."
B: "Thanks, I don't really get to wear it that much anymore."
T: "See when I'm out, I'm out! By the way, what do you think about gay people?"
*Here, I started to get a little uncomfortable, just a smidge, so I just gave a shortened version of my normal answer. I always feel wierd though, not explaining myself fully, or else I fear people get the wrong impression of me, so on my way back in, i stopped by again, to clarify that I not only didn't mind it, but I supported it. At this point, he told me that he had a question for me, later, and asked what time I got off...Definitely not conspicuous...*
So, a week passes, and he doesn't really say anything, except for when I end up sick for a day, and he wishes me better health...but there were still these little things every now and then that just made me tenser and tenser...so finally, I just went ahead and brought it back up as he came through self checkout. He stated that he liked the way I talked, that I sounded intelligent, so I thanked him, and then calmly mentioned that he had a question for me earlier. Dialogue:
T: "I did? I don't even remember what it was!"
B: "Okay, I just wasn't sure if it was important or not..."
T: "Well, It just wasn't work appropriate" *I got slightly uncomfortable, so I accidentally fumbled this next bit*
B: "Ah, I thought so, given the topic of our conversation at the time, I think I can kind of assume what the question was..."
T: "yeah?"
B: "And I'll just answer it the best I can, assuming it's the right question....I'm VERY dedicated to my girlfriend."
T: "Oh, OK" *Smiling a bit bigger, now, which kind of...makes me wonder if I got my point across, So I added a quick "nothing personal", and informed him that I'd say the same thing if it was ANYONE else, too.*
So, yes, potentially (more?) awkward situation averted, and now less violence will ensue on the part of Anz.
2. The Roach Lady.
Yeah....this one was sick. Not too long ago, I was working Number four (The first four registers are organized in a square of express lanes, right near the produce side entrance) and I was talking to the cashier behind me, because she's pretty cool. She was trying to help a customer (A rather obese old lady in a "mart-kart") with an assload of bags, which couldn't fit on the small cart. I went over to help, when that most wonderous of senses, the olfactory department, decided to kick in full force. I realized quite quickly that not only could this lady use a shave about the face, but a bath. The smell was terrible, and it was coming from her. I tried to help while keeping my distance, and she finally left. Speaking to the girl, I learned that she come in here ALL THE TIME, and that on one occasion, she ended up giving the old lady a ride home. She said that the smell NEVER got out of her car...eeeeeeeccccchhhh...it was like not taking a bath for THREE years. Anyways, the most disgusting part occured when she was talking to a door greeter on the way out. I was examining the situation to determine how the poor fella felt about being in such close vecinity to the woman, when I noticed a roach crawl out of her shirt onto her back. Not a cockroach mind you, one of those little red winged ones...
3. Cowboy hats: a new threat
Alright, Wal-mart training occurs in three stages: CBL's (Computer Based Learning, training on the computer), OTJ training (On The Job, where you observe someone do their job), and then they just kind of chuck you end. THERE IS NO HAND-HOLDING! ESPECIALLY FOR ME! I finished all of my CBL's in one day, while the norm is 3. Then, my second day (The first of OTJ), I was put on the floor watching my trainers. This usually lasts 2 days. I got about an hour and a half. Plus, this was the day before Mother's Day, LOTS of last minute shopping. This was my second day of work, and I get put on an express lane register all by myself. Honstly, I dind't do bad, either, though I still had a LOT to learn. Then, cowboy hat guy shows up...Some fucker in a red polyester western shirt and a cowboy hat comes through my line. I ring them up fairly quickly, and while trying to make sure I've not forgotten some major aspect, I absent-mindedly just turn the "total" display to face them, while I make sure the check-printer did it's job correctly. So, the man turns to his wife, and audibly states that "they're getting lazier and lazier", "they don't even tell you your total anymore", along with some comment about "...back in the big town". So, I smiled and informed them that I was new, and was merely making sure that I had done everything correctly up to this point. "Uh-huh", she said quite uninterested, and stated that "[I] wouldn't make it in Vegas, honey"...I began saying "Wll, it's a good thing I..." before I cought myself and simply wished them a good day....fucking cowboy hats. He wouldn't make it as a cashier....
4: The Revenge of the Hat, return of Guy.
So, a bit ago, I had to open a register for the first time (preparing it for use, installing the till, cleaning up, and putting the money in it), and didn't know that I was supposed to check the register paper, too. Sooooo, I ring up my first set of customers, and In the middle of my ringing things up, I press the [SLIP] button (a mini receipt) to make sure I rang everhitng up, and the thing malfunctions, giving me an error message. As I try to figure out what's going on, and flag down a CSM to help me, the lights flicker. There was a power surge in the generator room, and all of the registers had to be reset, a process that took 14 minutes to rectify. In the MEAN time, apparently Cowboy Hat guy decided to come back through my line. Fed up with my 4 seconds of inaction, he goes "Oh, great, what's the matter this time?" (One, I didn't recognize him, 2, I had no clue the registers were down, I just thought I was out of paper) "Well, sir, I'm out of paper, and i'm trying to figure out what to do about it"
CBHG: "WELCOME TO FUCKING WAL*MART!!"
B: "I'm sorry, sir, but I'm still new, and this is my fir-"
CBHG: "BULLSHIT! YOU SAID THAT TWO WEEKS AGO!"
Yeah, and it takes at least THREE FUCKING MONTHS TO EVEN GET SETTLED IN!!! At this point, he left, harrassed and cussed out at least 2 other cashiers.
More stories to come, including The Drunk Homeless Guy Who Doesn't Drink...when I'm much less tired.
I'll probably be posting more if I can drag my ass back to the internet. just, so busy, and there are honestly other things I'd rather do than post constantly. HOWEVER, my new job, Wal*Mart has left me with quite a few interesting stories (Funny and otherwise...Terrence's vague attempt to hit on me, Roach lady, etc.), and probably will continue to do so. SO, I'll at least TRY to put some of them down. Other news: My mom is getting a car, and I am becoming continually frustrated at my feeble movements into the world of modding VegaStrike...DAMN THEIR UNPROFESSIONALISM!!! PICK AN ENGINE AND WORK WITH IT, I SAY!! 3 MODEL TYPES AND 2 CONVERTERS ARE FAR TOO MUCH FOR A N00B TO HANDLE!!!
So, a few short tales from the LAND OF THE RETAIL NAZI'S!!!
1. Wal*mart Stories, the prequel: The circumstances.
I am a cashier at the Carrollton Wal*Mart. My first day of OTJ training was the day before mother's day, and I was practically left alone to figure everything out. As a result of that day and the last month of work, I have a new respect for those that work retail. IT IS NOT EASY. IT IS NOT SIMPLE. THERE'S A REASON WE'RE PAID SO WELL. Just a short, short list of the things we must learn how to do:
Handle Wic transfers
cash checks
food stamps
food stamp tender
how to suspend and continue transactions
what is and isn't a valid form of ID (And be able to recognize them at a
glance)
Check cards
paying a bill
the best way to deal with an EBT cards
what items to deactivate
how to call a price check (and remember department numbers)
distinguishing between fruits for the lookup table (Seriously, this can
get goddamn impossible. cucumber = zuchinni, tangerine =
peaches, xl cantelope = regular cantelope)
procedures for dealing with drunk customers
procedures for possible third party transactions
what to do if a scale stops working
how to jury rig a scale so that it kinda/sorta works (and how to jury rig
everything else for that matter
how to override a price for a comp ad
how to override a price for a mislabel
what changes may be made to a reciept
what to do if a check doesn't go through correctly
dealing with faulty machinery (hehe...I hate this...too much)
all of this while smiling, talking, watching for shoplifters, and bagging items.
BLAH!
Also, All of the cashiers are either a. female or b. gay. literally. There's one straight guy working a register every now and then.
2. Terrence....
Okay, this was an odd one, but one that I believe has been dealt with effectively. Terrence is one of the other cashiers, and one of the more "fabulous" of them. I didn't really think too much of it at first, he didn't seem intrusive, so I thought there was no harm at all. However, last week when going to lunch, I bought some of the deli sandwiches and went through his line, since he was working #1 at the time, and I was hungry. While there, he mentioned when I came in the previous night with Anz, Lee, and Rachel. The dialogue went something like this:
T: "I saw you yesterday, you looked good!"
B: *Thinking*"Oh yeah, I thought I saw you working a register"
T: "You look good in black, it suits you."
B: "Thanks, I don't really get to wear it that much anymore."
T: "See when I'm out, I'm out! By the way, what do you think about gay people?"
*Here, I started to get a little uncomfortable, just a smidge, so I just gave a shortened version of my normal answer. I always feel wierd though, not explaining myself fully, or else I fear people get the wrong impression of me, so on my way back in, i stopped by again, to clarify that I not only didn't mind it, but I supported it. At this point, he told me that he had a question for me, later, and asked what time I got off...Definitely not conspicuous...*
So, a week passes, and he doesn't really say anything, except for when I end up sick for a day, and he wishes me better health...but there were still these little things every now and then that just made me tenser and tenser...so finally, I just went ahead and brought it back up as he came through self checkout. He stated that he liked the way I talked, that I sounded intelligent, so I thanked him, and then calmly mentioned that he had a question for me earlier. Dialogue:
T: "I did? I don't even remember what it was!"
B: "Okay, I just wasn't sure if it was important or not..."
T: "Well, It just wasn't work appropriate" *I got slightly uncomfortable, so I accidentally fumbled this next bit*
B: "Ah, I thought so, given the topic of our conversation at the time, I think I can kind of assume what the question was..."
T: "yeah?"
B: "And I'll just answer it the best I can, assuming it's the right question....I'm VERY dedicated to my girlfriend."
T: "Oh, OK" *Smiling a bit bigger, now, which kind of...makes me wonder if I got my point across, So I added a quick "nothing personal", and informed him that I'd say the same thing if it was ANYONE else, too.*
So, yes, potentially (more?) awkward situation averted, and now less violence will ensue on the part of Anz.
2. The Roach Lady.
Yeah....this one was sick. Not too long ago, I was working Number four (The first four registers are organized in a square of express lanes, right near the produce side entrance) and I was talking to the cashier behind me, because she's pretty cool. She was trying to help a customer (A rather obese old lady in a "mart-kart") with an assload of bags, which couldn't fit on the small cart. I went over to help, when that most wonderous of senses, the olfactory department, decided to kick in full force. I realized quite quickly that not only could this lady use a shave about the face, but a bath. The smell was terrible, and it was coming from her. I tried to help while keeping my distance, and she finally left. Speaking to the girl, I learned that she come in here ALL THE TIME, and that on one occasion, she ended up giving the old lady a ride home. She said that the smell NEVER got out of her car...eeeeeeeccccchhhh...it was like not taking a bath for THREE years. Anyways, the most disgusting part occured when she was talking to a door greeter on the way out. I was examining the situation to determine how the poor fella felt about being in such close vecinity to the woman, when I noticed a roach crawl out of her shirt onto her back. Not a cockroach mind you, one of those little red winged ones...
3. Cowboy hats: a new threat
Alright, Wal-mart training occurs in three stages: CBL's (Computer Based Learning, training on the computer), OTJ training (On The Job, where you observe someone do their job), and then they just kind of chuck you end. THERE IS NO HAND-HOLDING! ESPECIALLY FOR ME! I finished all of my CBL's in one day, while the norm is 3. Then, my second day (The first of OTJ), I was put on the floor watching my trainers. This usually lasts 2 days. I got about an hour and a half. Plus, this was the day before Mother's Day, LOTS of last minute shopping. This was my second day of work, and I get put on an express lane register all by myself. Honstly, I dind't do bad, either, though I still had a LOT to learn. Then, cowboy hat guy shows up...Some fucker in a red polyester western shirt and a cowboy hat comes through my line. I ring them up fairly quickly, and while trying to make sure I've not forgotten some major aspect, I absent-mindedly just turn the "total" display to face them, while I make sure the check-printer did it's job correctly. So, the man turns to his wife, and audibly states that "they're getting lazier and lazier", "they don't even tell you your total anymore", along with some comment about "...back in the big town". So, I smiled and informed them that I was new, and was merely making sure that I had done everything correctly up to this point. "Uh-huh", she said quite uninterested, and stated that "[I] wouldn't make it in Vegas, honey"...I began saying "Wll, it's a good thing I..." before I cought myself and simply wished them a good day....fucking cowboy hats. He wouldn't make it as a cashier....
4: The Revenge of the Hat, return of Guy.
So, a bit ago, I had to open a register for the first time (preparing it for use, installing the till, cleaning up, and putting the money in it), and didn't know that I was supposed to check the register paper, too. Sooooo, I ring up my first set of customers, and In the middle of my ringing things up, I press the [SLIP] button (a mini receipt) to make sure I rang everhitng up, and the thing malfunctions, giving me an error message. As I try to figure out what's going on, and flag down a CSM to help me, the lights flicker. There was a power surge in the generator room, and all of the registers had to be reset, a process that took 14 minutes to rectify. In the MEAN time, apparently Cowboy Hat guy decided to come back through my line. Fed up with my 4 seconds of inaction, he goes "Oh, great, what's the matter this time?" (One, I didn't recognize him, 2, I had no clue the registers were down, I just thought I was out of paper) "Well, sir, I'm out of paper, and i'm trying to figure out what to do about it"
CBHG: "WELCOME TO FUCKING WAL*MART!!"
B: "I'm sorry, sir, but I'm still new, and this is my fir-"
CBHG: "BULLSHIT! YOU SAID THAT TWO WEEKS AGO!"
Yeah, and it takes at least THREE FUCKING MONTHS TO EVEN GET SETTLED IN!!! At this point, he left, harrassed and cussed out at least 2 other cashiers.
More stories to come, including The Drunk Homeless Guy Who Doesn't Drink...when I'm much less tired.