I'll have a bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuue Christmas without yooooooooooooooou

[zombiehamster]

First Christmas away from home. I'm already feeling it. No snow, no cold, nothing to differentiate it from the rest of the year except for tacky icicle lights hung by people who may never have seen a real icicle. Thanksgiving was difficult enough since it always was my combo birthday party as well, but Christmas...Christmas was my mother's holiday, a month of cheer and overdecorating and thousands of cookies for friends and family. I haven't done any baking this season. My mother has, as usual, but I can't bring myself to do it. It feels almost sacriligeous, or at best a cheap imitation. Yesterday I wrote up a Christmas card list. Which reminds me, I'll have to get some addresses to send them to. I still need wrapping paper for Jamie's gifts and I'll be sending a few home, I hope, if I can find a little something-something for the nephews and stuff.

I lost my Christmas gift from last year, the black pearl necklace, in the move. That depresses me even more.

Christmas feels empty.