I Like My Haterade On The Rocks
Taken from The Urban Dictionary...
HATER (noun):
1. A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.
2. Overused word that people like to use just because someone else expresses a dislike for a certain individual.
3. A word that stupid people use to help you spot them quickly. It can also be spelled "h8r".
There were thirty-nine definitions, but I chose these as the three best representing the word. Of the many loathsome things that hip-hop has given this world, the word "hater" must be included in the top fifteen right there alongside such God-awful tacky inventions as gold grills for your teeth, wearing your baseball hat twisted to one side and a powerful disdain for anything remotely resembling correct grammar. I say this because now such people as Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity are beginning to use it, and when douchebags like that start using slang terms, the saying in question has officially reached the end of its rope (and thank God for that).
The way they both used the word was in the same context; they were referring to the folks that for one reason or another, absolutely cannot stand the sight of the Monkey In Chief and if you are still reading this, I can safely assume that you are one of those folks and most likely proud of it. Which, of course, is not only to be expected, it is also absolutely fine... except in the books of the conservative fuck-chops.
You are part of, after all, the "hate the President crowd" as O'Reilly says. That group of people that just hates the Presdient of the United States, are totally incapable of logic regarding him and would love nothing more than to see him tied naked to the flagpole during luch hour and--no, sorry, I was thinking of the people in high school that later grew up to be defenders of this guy. No matter, however. You hate the President, and therefore, in their words, you are a hater.
What a simplistic fuck-chop argument that is, eh? I've heard this argument used a thousand times, usually to defend a completely retarded point of view that is nowhere near being grounded in reality ("You're just on Barry Bonds' case because you're a hater, man." "Thanks, Captain Blunt, how very insightful of you."). The very thought that one can dismiss somebody's argument with "Aw, you're just a hater" is so very representative of the simplest minds among us that it makes me want to puncture them in detail.
And I will.
Okay, so liberals hate the President, right? And if you hate the President, then you are a hater, right? And therefore your argument is meaningless because you're a hater and can't be expected to do any better, right? Wrong. I don't think I'm going out on a limb here by saying that of all the people on my Livejournal Friendlist, I'm by far the most conservative. So from a non-liberal point of view, here's a new Five Spot as to my rational, carefully researched reasons as to why I loathe the Chimp In Chief...
5. Because I'm A Union Man, Man. I understand that from the POV of a business owner, unions are an unholy pain in the ass to deal with. The workers are pricey, they're hard to get rid of when they screw the pooch and to be brutally honest, a good number of them do more than their fair share of whining. Those are all valid points, truth be told. However, it should also be noted that the high wages they earn are then paid back into the economy, thereby paying the wages of other workers. When I worked for eight bucks an hour at a shitty call center, I ate a lot of ramen and prayed to God that my car would never toss a rod. When I passed probation at the bus company, I bought a new Dodge. Guys like Bush hate union people with a passion because they're sick of hearing their business buddies whine about how much of an unholy pain in the ass unions are to deal with. Too bad; a Rice-A-Roni society where we all shop at Wal-Mart sounds rather shitty to me.
4. Good Will Among Men, Especially Abroad (Overseas, Not Atop A Chick). Boy, do people hate us in foreign lands now. When Clinton was in office, one could still backpack through Europe with an American flag on one's backpack and not get torn a new one every night at whatever hostel they stayed at. I wouldn't advise trying that these days. Being that I'd like to do some traveling without having to watch my back, I give the Main Monkey the middle finger salute for getting us such a lovely reputation overseas.
3. Balancing A Checkbook For Dummies, By Dummies. The national debt is a big problem. Period. Sure, our country looks wonderful and shiny and has lots of toys in it. I could do that with our house, too, if you gave me a big enough credit limit that I had no intention of ever paying off. Only the government can get away with deficit spending; if I tried that, I'd have to declare bankruptcy and... well, you get the idea.
2. I'm Not A Christian, And Even If I Was, I wouldn't Be Your Kind Of Christian. Spiritual, yes. Church-going and all the jazz, no. If you do, awesome. More power to you. But if you're going to shout how loudly about what a good Christian you are, don't you think you should, oh, I dunno, act like it? I don't doubt that these dickheads actually think they are doing right by God with what they do, because stupid people always think what they do is correct. However, I also don't think that God, the all-powerful, all-knowing and all-present alleged master of creation itself, is going to be fooled for a second by these jackasses. As one of our drivers says, "I couldn't ever be a Republican like these people, because I think being Christian is something that you're supposed to do good with, not justify being an asshole with."
And the number one reason is...
1. I Hate Incompetent, Stupid, Lying Fucks. I swear to the bleeding holy Christ, I have never seen such a group of awesomely incompetent disengenuous shitheads as this. Calling them retarded is an insult to developmentally disabled people; at least they can ride the bus without any issues. "Oh, we'll be welcomed as liberators by the people of Iraq, and there will be no insurgency at all. No chance. Yup." And the lies... holy shit. If these people told me the sun was going to rise tomorrow, I'd tell them to prove it with third-party independently verified research. There are so many examples of this last one that I don't have the inclination to go back through them; pick your favorite and say I cited it as such. Making fun of these people is like hunting cows with a high-powered rifle and a telescopic sight. I actually owe Richard Nixon an apology; I never thought we'd see a more corrupt, rapacious group of scoundrels ever assembled on the public tit. My sincerest apologies, Tricky Dick. Looks like history has made a monkey out of both of us.
Thoughts?
HATER (noun):
1. A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.
2. Overused word that people like to use just because someone else expresses a dislike for a certain individual.
3. A word that stupid people use to help you spot them quickly. It can also be spelled "h8r".
There were thirty-nine definitions, but I chose these as the three best representing the word. Of the many loathsome things that hip-hop has given this world, the word "hater" must be included in the top fifteen right there alongside such God-awful tacky inventions as gold grills for your teeth, wearing your baseball hat twisted to one side and a powerful disdain for anything remotely resembling correct grammar. I say this because now such people as Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity are beginning to use it, and when douchebags like that start using slang terms, the saying in question has officially reached the end of its rope (and thank God for that).
The way they both used the word was in the same context; they were referring to the folks that for one reason or another, absolutely cannot stand the sight of the Monkey In Chief and if you are still reading this, I can safely assume that you are one of those folks and most likely proud of it. Which, of course, is not only to be expected, it is also absolutely fine... except in the books of the conservative fuck-chops.
You are part of, after all, the "hate the President crowd" as O'Reilly says. That group of people that just hates the Presdient of the United States, are totally incapable of logic regarding him and would love nothing more than to see him tied naked to the flagpole during luch hour and--no, sorry, I was thinking of the people in high school that later grew up to be defenders of this guy. No matter, however. You hate the President, and therefore, in their words, you are a hater.
What a simplistic fuck-chop argument that is, eh? I've heard this argument used a thousand times, usually to defend a completely retarded point of view that is nowhere near being grounded in reality ("You're just on Barry Bonds' case because you're a hater, man." "Thanks, Captain Blunt, how very insightful of you."). The very thought that one can dismiss somebody's argument with "Aw, you're just a hater" is so very representative of the simplest minds among us that it makes me want to puncture them in detail.
And I will.
Okay, so liberals hate the President, right? And if you hate the President, then you are a hater, right? And therefore your argument is meaningless because you're a hater and can't be expected to do any better, right? Wrong. I don't think I'm going out on a limb here by saying that of all the people on my Livejournal Friendlist, I'm by far the most conservative. So from a non-liberal point of view, here's a new Five Spot as to my rational, carefully researched reasons as to why I loathe the Chimp In Chief...
5. Because I'm A Union Man, Man. I understand that from the POV of a business owner, unions are an unholy pain in the ass to deal with. The workers are pricey, they're hard to get rid of when they screw the pooch and to be brutally honest, a good number of them do more than their fair share of whining. Those are all valid points, truth be told. However, it should also be noted that the high wages they earn are then paid back into the economy, thereby paying the wages of other workers. When I worked for eight bucks an hour at a shitty call center, I ate a lot of ramen and prayed to God that my car would never toss a rod. When I passed probation at the bus company, I bought a new Dodge. Guys like Bush hate union people with a passion because they're sick of hearing their business buddies whine about how much of an unholy pain in the ass unions are to deal with. Too bad; a Rice-A-Roni society where we all shop at Wal-Mart sounds rather shitty to me.
4. Good Will Among Men, Especially Abroad (Overseas, Not Atop A Chick). Boy, do people hate us in foreign lands now. When Clinton was in office, one could still backpack through Europe with an American flag on one's backpack and not get torn a new one every night at whatever hostel they stayed at. I wouldn't advise trying that these days. Being that I'd like to do some traveling without having to watch my back, I give the Main Monkey the middle finger salute for getting us such a lovely reputation overseas.
3. Balancing A Checkbook For Dummies, By Dummies. The national debt is a big problem. Period. Sure, our country looks wonderful and shiny and has lots of toys in it. I could do that with our house, too, if you gave me a big enough credit limit that I had no intention of ever paying off. Only the government can get away with deficit spending; if I tried that, I'd have to declare bankruptcy and... well, you get the idea.
2. I'm Not A Christian, And Even If I Was, I wouldn't Be Your Kind Of Christian. Spiritual, yes. Church-going and all the jazz, no. If you do, awesome. More power to you. But if you're going to shout how loudly about what a good Christian you are, don't you think you should, oh, I dunno, act like it? I don't doubt that these dickheads actually think they are doing right by God with what they do, because stupid people always think what they do is correct. However, I also don't think that God, the all-powerful, all-knowing and all-present alleged master of creation itself, is going to be fooled for a second by these jackasses. As one of our drivers says, "I couldn't ever be a Republican like these people, because I think being Christian is something that you're supposed to do good with, not justify being an asshole with."
And the number one reason is...
1. I Hate Incompetent, Stupid, Lying Fucks. I swear to the bleeding holy Christ, I have never seen such a group of awesomely incompetent disengenuous shitheads as this. Calling them retarded is an insult to developmentally disabled people; at least they can ride the bus without any issues. "Oh, we'll be welcomed as liberators by the people of Iraq, and there will be no insurgency at all. No chance. Yup." And the lies... holy shit. If these people told me the sun was going to rise tomorrow, I'd tell them to prove it with third-party independently verified research. There are so many examples of this last one that I don't have the inclination to go back through them; pick your favorite and say I cited it as such. Making fun of these people is like hunting cows with a high-powered rifle and a telescopic sight. I actually owe Richard Nixon an apology; I never thought we'd see a more corrupt, rapacious group of scoundrels ever assembled on the public tit. My sincerest apologies, Tricky Dick. Looks like history has made a monkey out of both of us.
Thoughts?