Disaster Knows No Day Off
I had Friday off from work because Lady Jade and I were going to head down to Concord and spend the weekend with Mad Evil Chris. Among the events that would take place were a baseball game (Oakland A's versus the Cleveland Indians), my cherry-popping at the hands of the video game Guitar Hero, and probably a decent amount of alcohol abuse. Hey, maybe even the Oakland Raiders would win a game!
Getting Friday off was a smart move, in theory. It was a premeditated maneuver, one that would allow us to fit in a lot of extracurricular activities in addition to the drive down to the Bay Area. However, the will of the universe hates to be challenged, so I present with an alternately heavy and head-shaking heart, a special edition of Ups And Downs:
UP: We woke up with gladness in our hearts and Five Hour Energy in our veins to take on the day.
DOWN: We got a late start. Even though we woke up at about nine, we didn't actually get out of the house until almost eleven-thirty. I don't know if it was my fault... okay, it wasn't. I hate saying that, but it's true. At least we got a shower out of the bargain.
ALSO DOWN: One of the items needing to be addressed was to go to Kaiser and get a note from my doctor stating that I'd be unable to go to work on Tuesday because I'd be getting a stomach probe. Seriously. My doctor was out of the office for the next two days (naturally), the backup doctor was currently out of the officde because it was lunch or something (of course), and the lady running the front desk was being a bitch (shocking). We had to make plans to come back later in order to get my note (hopefully).
UP: The other part of my visit there, getting some blood drawn for the evil geniuses in the lab, went very smoothly. It eventually turned out that everything seemed normal on that front, so a two-for-one in the win column.
DOWN: Costco was our next port of call to get a tri-tip roast for grilling at the house before leaving for Chris'. We also needed gas, but the line was so grotesquely long we decided to get lunch first, because I was developing a noticeably amount of bitchiness.
UH-OH, DOWN: Lady Jade's pizza arrived accompanied by delicious looks and lovely scents. My own calzone showed up about fifteen minutes later (and seemingly an hour or so more in the frustration column), stuffed with regular sausage and not the spicy Italian variety I had ordered. Terribly disappointing product from a place that usually is five-star in the food department, and didn't help my already sour mood in the slightest bit.
UP: Grazing at Costco alleviated most of my seething anger, and we got a great deal on a lot of wine.
SURPRISINGLY, UP: My doctor's note was ready when we got back to Kaiser, I turned it in to the bummed-looking dispatcher at the bus company, and home we went for final packing and the grilling of the tri-tip.
HOLY FUCK, DOWN: Five minutes after the grill was lit, off it went. Lack of propane. Jesus. Off to the refilling place, and a check of the clock indicates it is now quarter past three. We should have been on the road three hours ago. The gods can be cruel.
UP, SORTA: The tri-tip turned out great, but that's a given. I take my grilling seriously. The final packing is done, we collect the cats and, oh yeah...
MAJOR DOWN: Although it's nice to be taking Hera the Brave One and Marcus the Backup Kitty down to Chris', we're doing it primarily because they're sick and we need to give them antibiotics twice a day. Specifically, my daughter Hera is the one who really needs the attention. They're good traveling companions, but the reason behind the necessity of bringing them doesn't sit well with me.
CATACLYSMIC DOWN: We're about forty minutes or so from Chris' house when OMG WE FORGOT THE FUCKING TICKETS! Lady Jade offers to drive back once we arrive at Chris' house and retrieve them herself. I'm tempted by this self-sacrificing offer, but there's no way I could allow her to do that because I'm not a shitty husband. We turn the Mighty Dodge around and head back to Sacramento.
SLIGHT UP: We take this opportunity to pick up a couple other items and a quick Taco Bell meal, because it's now 7:25 PM and if I hadn't gotten today off, we'd be leaving Sacramento about half an hour later than we currently are. This day has been a case study in Murphy's Law.
DOWN: After a pleasant (albeit shortened) evening, we retire to bed and the reason behind my doctor visit makes itself known again as I violently puke my guts out about an hour after bedding down.
Hell's bells, what a day. Day two report to follow later...
Getting Friday off was a smart move, in theory. It was a premeditated maneuver, one that would allow us to fit in a lot of extracurricular activities in addition to the drive down to the Bay Area. However, the will of the universe hates to be challenged, so I present with an alternately heavy and head-shaking heart, a special edition of Ups And Downs:
UP: We woke up with gladness in our hearts and Five Hour Energy in our veins to take on the day.
DOWN: We got a late start. Even though we woke up at about nine, we didn't actually get out of the house until almost eleven-thirty. I don't know if it was my fault... okay, it wasn't. I hate saying that, but it's true. At least we got a shower out of the bargain.
ALSO DOWN: One of the items needing to be addressed was to go to Kaiser and get a note from my doctor stating that I'd be unable to go to work on Tuesday because I'd be getting a stomach probe. Seriously. My doctor was out of the office for the next two days (naturally), the backup doctor was currently out of the officde because it was lunch or something (of course), and the lady running the front desk was being a bitch (shocking). We had to make plans to come back later in order to get my note (hopefully).
UP: The other part of my visit there, getting some blood drawn for the evil geniuses in the lab, went very smoothly. It eventually turned out that everything seemed normal on that front, so a two-for-one in the win column.
DOWN: Costco was our next port of call to get a tri-tip roast for grilling at the house before leaving for Chris'. We also needed gas, but the line was so grotesquely long we decided to get lunch first, because I was developing a noticeably amount of bitchiness.
UH-OH, DOWN: Lady Jade's pizza arrived accompanied by delicious looks and lovely scents. My own calzone showed up about fifteen minutes later (and seemingly an hour or so more in the frustration column), stuffed with regular sausage and not the spicy Italian variety I had ordered. Terribly disappointing product from a place that usually is five-star in the food department, and didn't help my already sour mood in the slightest bit.
UP: Grazing at Costco alleviated most of my seething anger, and we got a great deal on a lot of wine.
SURPRISINGLY, UP: My doctor's note was ready when we got back to Kaiser, I turned it in to the bummed-looking dispatcher at the bus company, and home we went for final packing and the grilling of the tri-tip.
HOLY FUCK, DOWN: Five minutes after the grill was lit, off it went. Lack of propane. Jesus. Off to the refilling place, and a check of the clock indicates it is now quarter past three. We should have been on the road three hours ago. The gods can be cruel.
UP, SORTA: The tri-tip turned out great, but that's a given. I take my grilling seriously. The final packing is done, we collect the cats and, oh yeah...
MAJOR DOWN: Although it's nice to be taking Hera the Brave One and Marcus the Backup Kitty down to Chris', we're doing it primarily because they're sick and we need to give them antibiotics twice a day. Specifically, my daughter Hera is the one who really needs the attention. They're good traveling companions, but the reason behind the necessity of bringing them doesn't sit well with me.
CATACLYSMIC DOWN: We're about forty minutes or so from Chris' house when OMG WE FORGOT THE FUCKING TICKETS! Lady Jade offers to drive back once we arrive at Chris' house and retrieve them herself. I'm tempted by this self-sacrificing offer, but there's no way I could allow her to do that because I'm not a shitty husband. We turn the Mighty Dodge around and head back to Sacramento.
SLIGHT UP: We take this opportunity to pick up a couple other items and a quick Taco Bell meal, because it's now 7:25 PM and if I hadn't gotten today off, we'd be leaving Sacramento about half an hour later than we currently are. This day has been a case study in Murphy's Law.
DOWN: After a pleasant (albeit shortened) evening, we retire to bed and the reason behind my doctor visit makes itself known again as I violently puke my guts out about an hour after bedding down.
Hell's bells, what a day. Day two report to follow later...