Psychogroupiecocainecrazy
I've been listening to a lot of System of a Down lately. I've always liked them, but never really got into them. They're really good. They have a distinct sound and meaningful lyrics. Or just creative ones. Carissa and I were running up to my room singing, "Psycho, groupie, cocaine, crazy, psycho groupie, coke! Makes you high! Makes you high! Makes you really wanna go!"
Mike thinks that I'm hiding something from him. Every time he sees me, I'm always really drained, run-down and not up to par, and for some reason, he doesn't understand. I'm lacking in all forms of life right now. Honestly, it's probably because this is one of the lowest points my life will ever be at. That, coupled with college and school shit, is just an enormous load. He doesn't seem to understand that I'm depressed and that I can barely sustain myself, let alone another person. From what I can gather, he either thinks that I'm cheating on him or that I'm doing hard drugs. He told me the other night that maybe I should "stop drinking energy drinks," which confused me, since I've only drank half an energy drink in my entire life. (Not because I intentionally try to stay off of them, but more so because I just never went of my way to get one. I love the taste of Monster, though.) Then he noticed the one I bought really late one night when I had to pull an all-nighter. I wound up not taking it, but it's still right next to the computer. I feel horrible about not being able to function as a good girlfriend should. I'm just not a whole person right now AT ALL. I think I'll try to explain that to him. I hope I don't have to give him an ultimatum.
Tomorrow, I gotta call the Guidance Office and tell her to mail my resume to Cobleskill. (That's my safe school. I know I have to apply to more schools pronto, though. I was thinking of going to Vermont but I'm not sure if I could handle the cold.) I really hope New Paltz accepts me though. You have no idea how much I want it.
I woke up a little hungover today because I hung out with Michelle, Alexis, Amanda and Andrew the other night and drank some yeger. Tonight, I'm hanging out with my other group of regulars - Carissa, Carl and Janiel. I'm not sure if I said this before, but my entire group of friends has completely changed. Perhaps for the better. At least I know these people care more. Actually, Carl's girlfriend doesn't want him to hang out with us because we smoke and sometimes drink, but I was walking him halfway home the other night and he was VERY strong on his stance when he told her that he's not going to stop hanging out with us. I thought it was really cool.
Whoohoo $60!
San Francisco... April... can't wait.
Mike thinks that I'm hiding something from him. Every time he sees me, I'm always really drained, run-down and not up to par, and for some reason, he doesn't understand. I'm lacking in all forms of life right now. Honestly, it's probably because this is one of the lowest points my life will ever be at. That, coupled with college and school shit, is just an enormous load. He doesn't seem to understand that I'm depressed and that I can barely sustain myself, let alone another person. From what I can gather, he either thinks that I'm cheating on him or that I'm doing hard drugs. He told me the other night that maybe I should "stop drinking energy drinks," which confused me, since I've only drank half an energy drink in my entire life. (Not because I intentionally try to stay off of them, but more so because I just never went of my way to get one. I love the taste of Monster, though.) Then he noticed the one I bought really late one night when I had to pull an all-nighter. I wound up not taking it, but it's still right next to the computer. I feel horrible about not being able to function as a good girlfriend should. I'm just not a whole person right now AT ALL. I think I'll try to explain that to him. I hope I don't have to give him an ultimatum.
Tomorrow, I gotta call the Guidance Office and tell her to mail my resume to Cobleskill. (That's my safe school. I know I have to apply to more schools pronto, though. I was thinking of going to Vermont but I'm not sure if I could handle the cold.) I really hope New Paltz accepts me though. You have no idea how much I want it.
I woke up a little hungover today because I hung out with Michelle, Alexis, Amanda and Andrew the other night and drank some yeger. Tonight, I'm hanging out with my other group of regulars - Carissa, Carl and Janiel. I'm not sure if I said this before, but my entire group of friends has completely changed. Perhaps for the better. At least I know these people care more. Actually, Carl's girlfriend doesn't want him to hang out with us because we smoke and sometimes drink, but I was walking him halfway home the other night and he was VERY strong on his stance when he told her that he's not going to stop hanging out with us. I thought it was really cool.
Whoohoo $60!
San Francisco... April... can't wait.