Star Wars: Horror on the Forest Moon (Dun Dun Dun)
For featherspy!
Title: Horror on the Forest Moon (Dun Dun Dun)
What: Star Wars fanfic
Author: green_grrl
Rating: PG (I do not sully the wholesome goodness of George Lucas's world! Except, of course, for stealing borrowing his characters and throwing zombies at them.)
Notes: Because featherspy asked for: Han Solo and Chewie. Do I need to say more? Also, perhaps, Boba Fett. Just because. (EWOK ZOMBIES!) And OMG ewok zombies, who could resist?! Of course. As kaige68 said, "I can think of no better use for ewoks than as zombies." (Also, I remember someone saying once that it looked in the movie like the ewoks were roasting other ewoks on spits in the background. I haven't noticed it myself, but I was quite taken with the idea.) Sorry no Boba Fett, but bonus C-3PO and Lando Calrissian.
Words: 6,326
Betas: Bless muck_a_luck and kaige68 for their eagle eyes and their enthusiastic response -- it made all the difference. *hugs them tight*
Disclaimer: Not my characters, just playing with them.
Crossposted: my journal
The three-day celebration with the ewoks had wound down. The generals were now occupied with moving the triumphant rebel forces out to other systems to mop up the remnants of the Empire's hold over the galaxy. The ewoks had graciously allowed them to set up a temporary base on their moon for wounded troops and damaged ships -- including, unfortunately, the Millennium Falcon.
"What part of 'not a scratch' did you not understand?! You thought scorched was okay?" Han's initial reaction had echoed across the entire camp. But they both knew that against the Death Star it was a miracle she had only suffered minor damage to the hyperdrive. A contrite Lando had cut his celebrating short to go get the needed part. Since he was stuck anyway, Han had reluctantly agreed to serve as the ranking officer over the forces left on the Endor moon.
Now, the Skywalkers had bad news for him.
"I'm afraid Luke and I are taking this transport out. The people of Naboo have requested that I represent them as our mother once did. Since the Emperor took over, there has been no queen."
"C'mon," wheedled Han charmingly, "Stay here with me. Let Luke go and be their queen."
Leia tried unsuccessfully to hide a grin, while Luke flushed a moment before regaining his calm demeanor.
Jedi Knight or not, Han still had what it took to tease the kid. Oh yeah. He smirked, satisfied.
"Seriously, you're not going to leave me here at the mercy of these little cannibals, are you?"
"Don't exaggerate. They didn't try to eat each other, they tried to eat you." Luke grinned.
3PO raised an arm to interject, but Han snapped out first. "Hey, you were hanging from a spit, too!"
"Han," Leia interposed gently, "The ewoks fought well and hard against the storm troopers."
"Yeah," he acknowledged. "Not bad for a bunch of dust mops. But look, you have to let me keep 3PO here, since he's the only one who can talk to 'em."
"Of course. We'll see all of you on Naboo when the Falcon's hyperdrive is back on line. Take care of the troops."
Chewbacca and Luke politely looked away as 3PO made his sorrowful goodbye to R2-D2, and Han dipped Leia into a goodbye kiss designed to make her sorry she was leaving.
The rest of the day, Chewbacca silently handed over tools when Han growled out for them, letting him work out his frustrations without comment.
By that evening, Han was fit enough company to make the rounds. He discovered that the medical transport was returning for the rest of the patients the day after next, and that repairs were proceeding well on those ships that were salvageable. Everything under control, Han retired early to try to catch up on some of the sleep missed during their big bacchanal. Besides, the ewoks were short any good taverns.
"General Solo! General Solo! Oh dear!"
"What!" he grouched sleepily, then cracked his head on the bulkhead as sat up too quickly. "Ow!"
"General, sir, I'm afraid the ewoks have raised an alarm." 3PO was dancing in place in agitation.
Han rolled out of bed quickly, blaster already in hand. "Storm troopers we missed?"
"It doesn't appear to be so, but I haven't been able to understand exactly what the danger is."
"Well let's go try a little harder to understand, shall we? Chewie, come on."
Chewbacca grumbled, rubbed his eyes and followed them out.
"Major Crowe," Han pulled aside the ranking officer on duty. "Some kind of trouble in the ewok village. Double the guard here at the shipyard, and send a runner to the field hospital for them to do the same. I'll be back as soon as possible with intel."
"Yes, sir!"
The trio hurried through the forest towards the arboreal village. Suddenly armed ewoks leaped into their path. Han and Chewie raised blasters, but the sentries quickly flanked them facing outwards in a gesture of protection rather than attack, leading them on.
At a rustle in the woods, the ewok guard froze, and gestured everyone to silence. The noise seemed to be slowly approaching them. Two of the guard broke off and ran into the woods towards the sound, brandishing clubs instead of their usual spears. They were quickly lost in the shadows, and the rest of the party could only listen, 3PO flinching broadly, to muffled grunts, cries, thuds and... squelches.
"What the he--" The ewoks motioned Han silent again, and waited until their two companions came trotting grimly back to the party. They consulted quietly with their comrades, wiping their clubs.
"They appear to have accomplished their objective," translated 3PO quietly.
"Uh, good. I guess."
They made it the rest of the way to the village without further incident.
"This gets old. Haven't they heard of anti-grav?" groused Han, as their escort hurried them up the ladder to meet with the village leadership. Chewie growled quietly. "Whaddya mean wuss?" But Han quit complaining and kept climbing.
3PO was invited in to the chieftan's hut, while Han and Chewbacca were waved to a waiting platform outside. "Members of the tribe, my backside. We save them from the storm troopers, and it's still the flying tin can that gets all the respect. They don't even give you any credit!"
Chewbacca objected indignantly.
"I know they're not any relation -- just, there's not any fur to fur respect, is all I'm saying."
Chewie's raised hackles subsided.
Eventually 3PO came out, looking very disturbed.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news, sir."
"I got that from the way the everyone's scurrying around here on full alert in the middle of the night. What's goin' on?"
"Apparently the ewoks did not recover all their dead within the past three days."
"Yeah, well, that's a shame, but considering the way the storm troopers were spread out through the forest, I'm not real surprised. But we lost most of our people in space -- they'll never get a burial."
"Well, sir, the ewoks don't bury their dead."
Han waited expectantly.
"I'm afraid they eat them."
"Aaaw," Han groaned and made a face. Suddenly he realized they'd been feasting for the past several days. "Wait, you mean what they were serving at the party...?" 3PO inclined his head in agreement. "Aaaaawwww!" This time Han sounded more nauseated than disgusted. "So they really are cannibals."
"Yes, sir. I tried to tell you--"
Han cut him off. "No wonder they were so quick to try to roast me alive."
"Oh no, sir. They were going to kill you before cooking you. They just wanted to have everything ready."
"Oh, I'm very comforted by that thought," said Han with a wince.
"I'm afraid that ewok physiology requires that a body be completely incapacitated after death." 3PO was radiating agitation.
"Dare I ask?"
Chewie echoed the question.
"Otherwise the body will react with the unique microorganisms found only in the soil of this moon to reanimate. Once 'revived,' the dead ewok hunts and feeds off the living. The bite of one of these reanimated dead infects living ewoks with the same affliction."
"So, they eat their dead before their dead can eat them?"
"Essentially, yes. They call it the Zhum Beie disease."
Chewie growled.
"Yeah, definitely not related, buddy. So... since not all the battle casualties were found in time, we have flesh-eating, walking ewok corpses trying to hunt and eat us, or turn us into more of them, or both."
"Yes, in fact there are missing villagers already, who will likely become walking dead themselves."
"Oh, man. I'm gonna kill Lando for this."
"Excuse me, sir, but I fail to see what General Calrissian has to do with our current situation."
"What he has to do with it," grated Han, "is that he banged up the Falcon enough that we're stuck here." He sighed, then shrugged his irritation off and went into general mode. "So if they're already dead, how are we supposed to kill them?"
"Apparently blows to the head sufficient to crush their skulls will stop them."
"Ah, the clubs." He and Chewie exchanged glances. "Alright, let's get back to camp and warn our people. We'll have to take extra care to protect the wounded -- they'll be in less shape to defend themselves."
The ewok guard escorted them again, back to their makeshift shipyard. 3PO muttered nervously, trying to peer into the dark trees surrounding them. "I wish R2 were here. Or rather I wish I were there. Oh dear!"
Finally Han snapped, "Wouldja pipe down already? I doubt anything's going to try to eat you."
"Oh!" exclaimed 3PO in realization, and turned to question one of the ewoks.
"Indeed," he translated, after listening to the reply. "That was why I am considered a god here. I am immune to the Zhum Beie disease, and to its victims. Well." He seemed much happier and more confident after that.
"Great. I'm thrilled for you," Han muttered wryly. Chewie shook his head.
Back in camp, Han quickly announced the situation, covered defense tactics and set up patrols. The wounded suddenly considered themselves lucky that they hadn't been at the feast once they learned what the main course had been. After that news, some of the repair crews looked like they were candidates for the hospital tent themselves.
Unable to sleep, Han spent the rest of the night circulating among the watches, hoping to get a glimpse of the enemy to see what they were up against. Finally, just before sunrise, he heard the sound of a blaster in the woods on the far side of their clearing. Racing over, he could make out one of the repair crew pressed into guard duty, Roberts, staring straight ahead with his blaster raised. He was shaking but determined. Following the line of sight, Han saw a rather gray and straggly looking ewok lurching forward.
Roberts fired again, taking off the creature's leg. That was enough to slow its forward motion to a literal crawl, as it persisted in attempting to reach them on all fours -- or threes, as it were.
"All right, a leg is good, buys you time," reassured Han with a pat on the shoulder as he reached Roberts. "But you really want to take the head shot." He raised his blaster and fired, splattering skull and brains on the forest floor.
Roberts fell to his knees and retched. Poor kid. He was there because he was the handiest thing with a wrench in five systems. Wasn't his fault he had no experience with guns.
"You did good, kid, really." Han helped him up and patted him on the shoulder again. "Get on back to the mess and drink some water. I'll be with you in a minute." Roberts nodded mutely and hurried off.
Han took a moment to go over to the creature and poke it with his boot. Rolling it this way and that, it looked like Roberts' first shot had missed it completely. So that slow shuffle was its normal speed? Good to know. The way it kept coming, even after its leg was gone, it didn't seem to have much intelligence or sense of self-preservation. Well why would it? It was already dead. Han shook his head. It was a strange universe, alright.
At least now he knew what they were up against.
Back in camp, he asked a few, quiet questions of Roberts to confirm his observations, before sending him off to bed. He tasked some men to burn the ewok's body, then held a briefing with his officers to update them on the situation. Feeling confident the situation was under control, it was time to catch up on that sleep.
"General Solo, sir!" Damn. Just as he'd almost reached the Falcon. He turned, and saw Doctor Fazel running after him, facial tentacles waving agitatedly.
"Sorry, sir, but I just thought you should know that Corporal Jensen hasn't shown up for his shift." At Han's blank look, he added, "One of our nurses, sir."
"Ah. Okay, how long has he been missing?"
"Well, actually, it could be as long as twelve hours. We just realized now."
Han spun around and recalled his ranking officers.
"All right, immediate roll call, all our people -- repair and medical. We already have a man missing." He filled them in on Corporal Jensen, including the physical description he'd gotten from the doctor. "If he's out there, we need to find him. But if he's sort of... shambling, looking gray, mindless -- it's too late. You need to shoot to kill -- head shot. Is everybody clear?" Four pairs of grim and determined eyes met his, and he nodded in satisfaction.
When he was left with only Chewbacca, he asked, "How in the hell did I end up in this?"
Chewie rumbled.
"I did not volunteer!"
A growled retort.
"Fine, I volunteered to fight the Empire. But I still didn't volunteer to fight off creepy, dead, zombie things." He shuddered, and settled in to wait for the roll call reports.
The news was bad, but it could have been worse. Five more personnel were missing. Descriptions were circulated among the patrols, in the hopes that they would be found, and Han finally turned in for some much-needed sleep.
The sun was still up when he awoke, and there was no news on further ewok attacks or their missing people. Han took advantage of the lull to eat and catch up with Chewbacca on the Falcon's repair status. After breakfast/dinner, he joined one of the search parties to take advantage of the light while they still could.
Sergeant Goran was in their group, and she turned out to be an excellent tracker. As they explored the path between camp and the ewok village, she noticed disturbed twigs. Following the trail, they found Jensen, half-buried in the ferns. Han and Chewbacca approached slowly, blasters out, while he waved the others to stay back. Chewbacca growled softly in anger as they saw the body. Random chunks of flesh had been torn off down to the bone.
Han was sickened and sorrowed. "All right, we're going to have to burn the body. There's enough left that he risks becoming one of those things, and I won't have it." He signaled Goran to bring over a tarp, and they wrapped the body to carry back. Once in camp, he sent his team off with instructions to prepare a pyre. When he was alone, he raised a rock overhead and brought it down hard on the shrouded skull. "Sorry about this Jensen, but I think you'll prefer it to the alternative."
It was a solemn group of personnel who attended the cremation.
As night fell, Han pulled the search parties back and kept the guard patrols limited to the perimeter of the ship repair camp and hospital tent clearing. He didn't care what happened out in the woods as long as he didn't lose any more men.
The people not on duty were having a hard time sleeping, and formed small huddles to whisper nervously. Han insisted Chewbacca sleep -- one of them had to -- while he circulated from post to post, checking in and spreading a little confidence and humor.
A few times during the night shots from the guards had Han immediately reaching for the radio as he ran towards the action. Each occasion turned out to be suspicious noises heard, but no actual creatures sighted. The false alarms were fine by Han -- better safe than sorry.
As the sun was coming up, Chewbacca stalked out of the Falcon and started to drag Han back to take a rest.
"All right, all right, buddy. Just let me wrap things up." It took a while to be satisfied that the night patrols were eating and resting, the day shifts were up and the search parties resumed. Finally he fell into his bunk with a groan and dropped off like a rock.
No sooner did he close his eyes than he was awakened to take an important communication. Blinking in the high sunlight, Han realized that he actually had slept -- it just didn't feel like it. But the medical transport was in orbit, and the patients needed to be moved out.
Han apprised the transport of their emergency situation, and learned to his relief that the transport would be able to take the full complement of wounded, plus all medical staff. While people bustled to bring the patients out on anti-grav gurneys, Han and Chewbacca surveyed the ships undergoing repair.
Faced with unknown numbers of, frankly incredibly creepy hostiles lurking in the forest, Han performed a harsh triage, making the command decision to abandon several ships that would take too long to repair, and to get as many as possible of the reparable fighters not yet up to interstellar travel into the medical transport's hangar bay.
Shuttles ferried the patients up and down to the transports, and crews were crawling over the ships readying to go.
In the midst of the organized chaos, a blood-curdling scream rang out. Everyone froze, then Han and several of his men went racing towards the forest edge.
One of the walking wounded -- Lieutenant Schramm? -- had knocked someone over into the undergrowth. Pale and shaking, he looked up towards the approaching soldiers. The figure on the forest floor started climbing back up, aiming towards Schramm again. Schramm took a good whack at him with his crutch, knocking him back and, with the clear shot, Han blasted his head off.
Schramm turned horrified and saddened eyes away from the sight, and looked up. "That was Reynolds," he said. Then he mutely held up his arm, where they could see blood dripping from a fresh bite. "Sorry, sir. He got me from behind before I knew he was there." Han remembered Schramm had damaged his eardrums in the battle.
"Damn it!" Han had to look away for a moment.
"If you please sir," Schramm recalled his attention. "I'd rather not go through..." he cocked his head towards the body by the side of the path. Then he stood as tall and straight as he could. "I said my goodbyes before we went into battle. I only want to say I'm proud to have played some small part in freeing the galaxy from the Empire." He stiffened into a salute.
Han solemnly did likewise. "It's been an honor, Lieutenant." Schramm nodded and closed his eyes. Han took the shot, watched the body fall, then whirled, unseeing, to stalk back to the Falcon.
"More guards," was all he snapped to Chewbacca, dogging his shoulder.
Chewbacca growled assent, and went to organize the patrols into better protection of the evacuees, while a detail set about creating pyres for Reynolds and Schramm.
Safely inside the Falcon, Han slammed the side of his fist into the bulkhead a few times before flipping around to lean against the wall and howl his rage at the ceiling. He'd seen a lot of ugliness in the galaxy -- hatred and greed and sheer survival. But this... this was just mindless, pointless, horror.
He slid to the floor, and sat unseeing until Chewbacca came to fetch him. "The patients are all shuttled?" he echoed his friend blankly, then snapped out of it. "All right." He slowly levered himself upright, and headed off to the comm officer.
Confirming with the transport the space available in their hangar bay, Han gave the order for the ships and personnel who were going to ready for departure. In the end, there were two ships near completion on their repairs and ten soldiers and mechanics who stayed behind with the Falcon, Han, Chewbacca and 3PO. These were good ships, and seasoned fighters who were up for sticking it out. And it was enough personnel to protect the shipyard while work was going on.
Han saw Roberts boarding a shuttle to go. "Hey, I'll be looking you up if I do some mods to the Falcon." Roberts grinned in hero-worship, the trauma of the previous night's zombie ewok attack fading now that he was leaving. Han clapped him on the shoulder and sent him up the ramp. Good kid, deserved better than war or plague. Han was glad he was out of it.
The remaining personnel watched in silence as a mini flotilla lifted off the surface and into the sky. "All I can say," Han confided in Chewbacca, "is that Lando better get here tomorrow." The wookiee enthusiastically agreed.
The excitement over and their skeleton crew organized, Han, Chewbacca and 3PO headed back to the ewok village to update them on their scheduled departure.
"General Han, sir, do you think more of the ewok villagers will have succumbed to the Zhum Beie?"
"I don't know. We'll find out when we get there."
"Hmm. I hope they're all right. I do hate to see..."
"3PO! Quiet! I need to be able to hear if any of those things are coming."
"Of course, sir."
Two minutes later: "I do hope none of our missing personnel have been attacking the ewoks..."
"3PO!" Chewbacca added a glare.
"I beg your pardon, sir, I just..."
Han turned on 3PO, whipped open a panel and pulled a wire. 3PO jerked with the effort to speak, but no sound came out.
"Quiet, see?" Han shook his head in exasperation and they continued through the forest.
As they neared the village, Han reattached 3PO's voice systems. He didn't want to get clubbed by zombie hunters, or get roasted for attacking the "god."
"Hello! Hello!" 3PO called out loudly as they came down the final stretch. A group of grim and determined ewoks met them at the village edge and welcomed 3PO gravely, then indicated that they should continue through. Looking around, Han noticed that their patrols were also limited to their immediate perimeter, not out into the forest as they had been before. Not a good sign.
3PO entered into conversation with the ewok chieftan -- Han still had a hard time taking a guy with a bird skull on his hat seriously -- and turned occasionally to translate. "They saw our ships take off and are pleased to know many of our people reached safety... They wish us well in being able to leave tomorrow and caution us to be vigilant until then... Oh dear. Oh dear!"
"What?"
"It appears our missing people have been involved in attacks. With their height and longer reach they are quite a challenge for the ewoks, even with clubs. I'm afraid the guards have only been able to take down one of the human zhum beies. The other humans have managed to infect five ewoks -- that they know of."
"Damn." Han looked away. "Damn damn damn." He was feeling that pesky conscience thing. "Chewie, we're ready to go as soon as we get that one missing part installed, right?"
Chewbacca growled assent.
Han thumbed his comm link. "Crowe, Solo. How are you set back there?"
"We're good, General."
"You be all right if we stay in the village a while?"
"We have two shifts of guards for each repairman -- we're fine. Trouble in the village?"
"Bit of a problem we should clean up if we can. Keep in touch."
"Yes, sir."
Han switched the link off. "All right 3PO, let them know that we're going to stick around to help." Chewbacca gave him a silent look of approval.
As 3PO translated, a positive-sounding murmur went through the ewoks.
"Okay, by my count, there are three unaccounted for from our personnel. Does that match how many of our zombies have been attacking them?"
3PO conferred. "Well, sir, they think you all look alike, so it's hard for them to say." Han snorted. "But that does sound like a reasonable guess to them."
"All right, let's make a plan..."
In the end, the plan consisted of mainly waiting around with the guards for zombies to show up. A special shrill whistle warned when zombies were heard approaching through the trees. Han and Chewbacca would race towards the hot spot and then use their blasters to take the creature's head off when it came into sight. It was a huge tactical advantage when the ewoks usually had to wait until the zombies got into clubbing range. The edge was taken off the celebration of each success, though, by the fact that these had been their friends and family.
Inevitably a human zombie came. "Sinclair. Damn." He had led up the rebel ground troops watching the shield bunker while Han was in the ewok village. Chewie softly growled the question.
"No, thanks buddy. I got it." Han steeled himself and raised the blaster. There was only a second's hesitation compared to the shots against the ewok zombies. He fired, clean. Small paws patted him on the hip in commiseration.
Through the night, Han kept vigil, grim-faced, with the ewok patrols. A few more ewok zombies shambled through the woods towards them, and were handled by their club-wielding former friends.
The attacks tapered off towards dawn, and 3PO came to Han with the news that the ewoks were insisting he take a rest. "They do promise to rouse you if you are needed."
Han grudgingly agreed to go lie down -- on two sleeping pallets pushed end-to-end to fit his frame. Flashes of stringy, gray matted fur, torn limbs with exposed tendons and bone, the distinctive crunch of club meeting skull, and the faces of his men as they dissolved in a crimson spray haunted him. Eventually his body dropped into an uneasy sleep.
Chewbacca was leaning over him, shaking his shoulder to wake up. As he opened his eyes, what he thought was Chewbacca turned out to be an ewok, mindlessly intent on pulling his arm out towards its viciously sharp-toothed little mouth. Han tried to push it off but it turned out to be as strong as his wookiee friend. Bits of rotted flesh were dropping off of its own wounds onto Han as he opened his mouth and screamed for help.
And then Chewbacca was leaning over him, shaking his shoulder to wake up. Han sat up gasping. "Chewie, is that really you?" He looked him over, making sure Chewbacca was in one piece and alert. Han then shook his head to clear it. "Never mind sleeping. What's been going on?"
Chewbacca filled him in on the latest check-in from the shipyard. The night had been fairly quiet, but a few zombies had shown up in the early morning. One of three ships was ready to go and the other was close.
"And here?"
All quiet so far.
Han added another pallet to the end of his makeshift bed and insisted Chewbacca try to sleep while he rejoined the village guards.
Mid-morning, Captain Crowe radioed in. "Sir, we have General Calrissian on the comm. He's just entered the system, and should be here in less than an hour."
"Can you patch him through?"
"Yes, sir."
The next voice was far happier and more carefree than Han had heard for days. "Han, old buddy. Bet you can't wait to see me."
"More like I can't wait to see the part you've brought me." Han was sure his voice was betraying his exhaustion and grim mood, but he couldn't spare the energy for his usual cockiness. "Look, Lando, we have a situation here."
"What's going on?"
"Well, basically, we're under attack from these... bodies that have risen from the dead and want to eat us." There really was no way to dress it up, was there?
"You're kidding." Lando waited. "Good one, Han, you are kidding!"
"I wish I were, buddy. I really, really wish I were." Han's voice was the proof. He added, "I guess you hadn't heard the news already from the medical transport."
"Uh, no. I've been in hyperdrive." Lando was dumbstruck. "Wow. Hey, are you all okay? What's the situation?"
"Five casualties among our people, and two men, whereabouts unknown, infected with this zombie thing. Just about everybody else shipped out yesterday. I've got ten men back at the shipyard finishing up with the repairs. Chewie, 3PO and I are in the ewok village, helping out here. They can handle zombies of their own kind, but human zombies are a little much for them. I want to make sure they're okay before taking off."
"Understood. ETA is 50 minutes. I'll head for the shipyard and get the Falcon ready if you're not back yet."
"Thanks, buddy."
Chewbacca had been listening in and softly growled a question. "I don't know. I just hope it won't come to leaving before we've finished the job."
Han prowled restlessly around the perimeter of the village, peering intently into the forest, trying to will the two remaining threats to the ewoks to appear. "C'mon. C'mon!" he muttered under his breath. Chewbacca waited stoically beside him, while 3PO danced agitatedly behind, wisely, though, keeping silent.
"Dammit! 3PO is there any way to draw those things towards us?"
3PO inquired among the ewoks. "I'm afraid not, sir. They'll approach in their own time, when they're moved to feed."
"Great." Han waggled his fingers against his thigh holster impatiently, then took off on another circuit of the perimeter to burn off his energy.
"General!" His radio crackled to life. "We have hostiles here. Repeat, we have hostiles!"
Han was already taking off at a run, Chewbacca on his heels. "Situation?"
3PO gave a hurried explanation to the ewoks, then headed down the path after them.
"There are ewok zombies coming through the woods from every direction, sir. We appear to be surrounded, but as yet we don't have visual confirmation or target acquisition," reported Crowe.
"Hang tight, we're on our way."
"Use extreme caution on your approach, sir. As I said, they're all around us."
"Understood." Han felt too damn far away. No wonder there hadn't been any attacks at the village lately -- all the damn things had been heading for the ship yard. They ran faster, 3PO's cries of "Oh dear, wait" fading further into the distance.
"We have visual now, sir. There are scores of them." Crowe sounded a little nauseated at the sight. Understandably. "And we can see Speckler and Hogan. They're with them."
"All right. First priority is your defense. Do whatever you can to avoid being bitten. Second priority is taking out our guys. I'm guessing they were the ones who were able to infect a whole lotta the little guys."
"Yes, sir, understood."
"Keep the link open. We're still a good 10 minutes out."
Han listened, feeling helpless as Crowe gathered everyone into a central knot around one ship, facing out against their threat. Blaster shots rang through the radio. He could hear Crowe yelling, "Body shots have little effect! Leg wounds slow 'em a little, but you've got to get the head! They won't stop until you get the head! Goran! Behind you!" That last was nearly a shriek. From the sounds coming through, it seemed they'd picked up whatever was handy to use as clubs.
"Crowe, get your men into the ship!" Han yelled.
"Tried to sir, but they've blocked the door."
Ahead along the path Han could barely see the clearing coming up. All he could make out was a short gray-brown knot of movement pulsing around one of the ships. "Coming Crowe, hang on!" But he was too far still to really be able to see. Way too far to be able to shoot.
Suddenly a whoosh overhead ruffled his hair, and he saw a ship speeding towards his besieged crew. Laser fire streamed out of her forward guns, taking out several zombies along the edge of the mob.
"General Calrissian, sir." Han could hear Crowe's conversation with the ship. "We're all pressed against the walls. If you could direct all your fire in one area of the creatures in front of us, we can break through the hole. Once in the open, we're faster."
"You got it, Major." Lando's ship made a graceful U turn in the sky, and came back on another strafing run, this time concentrated on one side of the mob. Han was close enough now to see the flash of clubs and blaster fire as the group expanded their escape route. They came running through the break, more or less in his direction.
A piercing shriek echoed across the clearing. Crowe glanced back for a fraction of a second, then sprinted ahead before turning back and firing. The screaming stopped abruptly.
The zombies were far slower and soon there was a healthy gap between the hunters and prey that Lando used to his advantage, returning to fire again and again on the leading attackers.
Han and Chewbacca veered their trajectory towards Crowe's party. As they met up, they looked back to see zombies placidly climbing over the smoking corpses of their fallen brethren or matter-of-factly picking themselves up and continuing forward despite gaping wounds. Their progress was slowed sufficiently that the pursued were able to slow to a jog, then turn and take a stand. Han and Chewbacca shared a glance, and raised blasters in unison to take out the two human zombies, lurching and hunched by their semi-decayed state, but still standing taller than the rest of the mob.
The other soldiers stood fast, and sniped each new front leader rising over the small hill of stopped bodies. Lando continued his firing runs, until none of the zombies was mobile. Not all were completely destroyed, but at least they could be avoided.
Half the men were detailed to circle at a safe distance from the zombies' final stand and finish them off, while Han and Crowe went with the rest of the men to the pile of gore in front of the ship. Han winced at the sight of Goran, body mutilated with teeth marks. He glanced a question at Crowe. "One of them got its teeth into her when we ran for it. She was already compromised -- there was nothing we could do for her." Han nodded sadly.
"All right. Make sure all these are..." He mimed a gun to the head, then headed towards the space where Lando was setting his ship down.
"Showed up just in time, buddy. You like those dramatic entrances, don'cha."
Lando was looking around at the carnage, stunned. Then he collected himself enough to crack back, "Well, somebody's got to be the hero."
"Oh my! Is everybody all right?" They turned to see 3PO hurrying into the clearing. "My word, General Solo, you certainly have been busy here."
Han rolled his eyes at the droid and gestured Lando back into the ship to get the long-awaited hyperdrive part. Tossing it to Chewbacca, he said, "Get this installed. I want us off this damn rock as soon as we can possibly manage." Then he coordinated with Crowe on the evacuation of the rest of the men. Lando would be heading to Naboo with them, so arrangements were made for the other three ships and who would crew them.
As the men were figuring out how exactly to deal with all the rotting corpses, a contingent of ewoks from the village entered the area. A murmur of astonishment came from them as they surveyed the piles of bodies.
Han snagged 3PO and went to meet them. "3PO, tell them that all the human zombies are..." He drew a line across his neck. "I don't know if there are any more ewok zombies out there, but this should even up the odds for them."
3PO nodded and translated. The murmurs became awed, and the ewoks began bobbing in that little bow thing towards 3PO that they tended to do. "Oh dear, no!" exclaimed 3PO, at the same time Han burst out, "Aw, c'mon! It was us! Crowe and Lando and me and Chewie! This guy missed the whole thing!" But it was useless to protest. He gave up in exasperation.
The ewok chieftan jabbered some more at 3PO. "General, sir. He suggests that your men not bother with disposing of the bodies. His people will take care of it."
"They're not going to eat them all, are they?" asked Han, incredulous.
"Oh no, sir. I'm afraid there's far too many for that. But they will make sure there is no more danger."
"All right." He turned and shouted to Crowe, "Call 'em off, the furballs are on cleanup detail. Get everyone prepped to go." Crowe saluted in response. Chewbacca stuck his head out the door of the Falcon, so he shouted to him, "She ready?" The growl said yes.
"Okay, 3PO. Tell these guys thanks for the hospitality and that we're off." 3PO's message caused a stir of activity among the ewoks. They broke off in groups to hug the legs of their human (and wookiee and droid) friends, causing a slight amount of alarm in those who had been so recently surrounded in very different circumstances by ewoks. But these were obviously healthy and friendly, so affectionate pats were traded, and their goodbyes made.
Finally, Han and Chewbacca were seated at the Falcon's controls, Lando hanging over their shoulders. 3PO was sitting farther back, murmuring happily to himself about his anticipated reunion with R2.
"Sure you don't want me to fly her," offered Lando.
"Uh uh -- you're not touching 'er." Han continued flipping switches for pre-flight.
As the Millennium Falcon rose over the heads of the ewoks along with the other ships, Han set the course for Naboo.
"Fine, you're going to see your girlfriend. You can quit it with your smug smile," Lando teased.
"This isn't a smug smile, it's a... cocky grin," retorted Han.
Chewie growled.
"Nobody asked you!" But Han was still smiling as he hit the hyperdrive and the stars streaked past them.
FIN
Title: Horror on the Forest Moon (Dun Dun Dun)
What: Star Wars fanfic
Author: green_grrl
Rating: PG (I do not sully the wholesome goodness of George Lucas's world! Except, of course, for stealing borrowing his characters and throwing zombies at them.)
Notes: Because featherspy asked for: Han Solo and Chewie. Do I need to say more? Also, perhaps, Boba Fett. Just because. (EWOK ZOMBIES!) And OMG ewok zombies, who could resist?! Of course. As kaige68 said, "I can think of no better use for ewoks than as zombies." (Also, I remember someone saying once that it looked in the movie like the ewoks were roasting other ewoks on spits in the background. I haven't noticed it myself, but I was quite taken with the idea.) Sorry no Boba Fett, but bonus C-3PO and Lando Calrissian.
Words: 6,326
Betas: Bless muck_a_luck and kaige68 for their eagle eyes and their enthusiastic response -- it made all the difference. *hugs them tight*
Disclaimer: Not my characters, just playing with them.
Crossposted: my journal
The three-day celebration with the ewoks had wound down. The generals were now occupied with moving the triumphant rebel forces out to other systems to mop up the remnants of the Empire's hold over the galaxy. The ewoks had graciously allowed them to set up a temporary base on their moon for wounded troops and damaged ships -- including, unfortunately, the Millennium Falcon.
"What part of 'not a scratch' did you not understand?! You thought scorched was okay?" Han's initial reaction had echoed across the entire camp. But they both knew that against the Death Star it was a miracle she had only suffered minor damage to the hyperdrive. A contrite Lando had cut his celebrating short to go get the needed part. Since he was stuck anyway, Han had reluctantly agreed to serve as the ranking officer over the forces left on the Endor moon.
Now, the Skywalkers had bad news for him.
"I'm afraid Luke and I are taking this transport out. The people of Naboo have requested that I represent them as our mother once did. Since the Emperor took over, there has been no queen."
"C'mon," wheedled Han charmingly, "Stay here with me. Let Luke go and be their queen."
Leia tried unsuccessfully to hide a grin, while Luke flushed a moment before regaining his calm demeanor.
Jedi Knight or not, Han still had what it took to tease the kid. Oh yeah. He smirked, satisfied.
"Seriously, you're not going to leave me here at the mercy of these little cannibals, are you?"
"Don't exaggerate. They didn't try to eat each other, they tried to eat you." Luke grinned.
3PO raised an arm to interject, but Han snapped out first. "Hey, you were hanging from a spit, too!"
"Han," Leia interposed gently, "The ewoks fought well and hard against the storm troopers."
"Yeah," he acknowledged. "Not bad for a bunch of dust mops. But look, you have to let me keep 3PO here, since he's the only one who can talk to 'em."
"Of course. We'll see all of you on Naboo when the Falcon's hyperdrive is back on line. Take care of the troops."
Chewbacca and Luke politely looked away as 3PO made his sorrowful goodbye to R2-D2, and Han dipped Leia into a goodbye kiss designed to make her sorry she was leaving.
The rest of the day, Chewbacca silently handed over tools when Han growled out for them, letting him work out his frustrations without comment.
By that evening, Han was fit enough company to make the rounds. He discovered that the medical transport was returning for the rest of the patients the day after next, and that repairs were proceeding well on those ships that were salvageable. Everything under control, Han retired early to try to catch up on some of the sleep missed during their big bacchanal. Besides, the ewoks were short any good taverns.
"General Solo! General Solo! Oh dear!"
"What!" he grouched sleepily, then cracked his head on the bulkhead as sat up too quickly. "Ow!"
"General, sir, I'm afraid the ewoks have raised an alarm." 3PO was dancing in place in agitation.
Han rolled out of bed quickly, blaster already in hand. "Storm troopers we missed?"
"It doesn't appear to be so, but I haven't been able to understand exactly what the danger is."
"Well let's go try a little harder to understand, shall we? Chewie, come on."
Chewbacca grumbled, rubbed his eyes and followed them out.
"Major Crowe," Han pulled aside the ranking officer on duty. "Some kind of trouble in the ewok village. Double the guard here at the shipyard, and send a runner to the field hospital for them to do the same. I'll be back as soon as possible with intel."
"Yes, sir!"
The trio hurried through the forest towards the arboreal village. Suddenly armed ewoks leaped into their path. Han and Chewie raised blasters, but the sentries quickly flanked them facing outwards in a gesture of protection rather than attack, leading them on.
At a rustle in the woods, the ewok guard froze, and gestured everyone to silence. The noise seemed to be slowly approaching them. Two of the guard broke off and ran into the woods towards the sound, brandishing clubs instead of their usual spears. They were quickly lost in the shadows, and the rest of the party could only listen, 3PO flinching broadly, to muffled grunts, cries, thuds and... squelches.
"What the he--" The ewoks motioned Han silent again, and waited until their two companions came trotting grimly back to the party. They consulted quietly with their comrades, wiping their clubs.
"They appear to have accomplished their objective," translated 3PO quietly.
"Uh, good. I guess."
They made it the rest of the way to the village without further incident.
"This gets old. Haven't they heard of anti-grav?" groused Han, as their escort hurried them up the ladder to meet with the village leadership. Chewie growled quietly. "Whaddya mean wuss?" But Han quit complaining and kept climbing.
3PO was invited in to the chieftan's hut, while Han and Chewbacca were waved to a waiting platform outside. "Members of the tribe, my backside. We save them from the storm troopers, and it's still the flying tin can that gets all the respect. They don't even give you any credit!"
Chewbacca objected indignantly.
"I know they're not any relation -- just, there's not any fur to fur respect, is all I'm saying."
Chewie's raised hackles subsided.
Eventually 3PO came out, looking very disturbed.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news, sir."
"I got that from the way the everyone's scurrying around here on full alert in the middle of the night. What's goin' on?"
"Apparently the ewoks did not recover all their dead within the past three days."
"Yeah, well, that's a shame, but considering the way the storm troopers were spread out through the forest, I'm not real surprised. But we lost most of our people in space -- they'll never get a burial."
"Well, sir, the ewoks don't bury their dead."
Han waited expectantly.
"I'm afraid they eat them."
"Aaaw," Han groaned and made a face. Suddenly he realized they'd been feasting for the past several days. "Wait, you mean what they were serving at the party...?" 3PO inclined his head in agreement. "Aaaaawwww!" This time Han sounded more nauseated than disgusted. "So they really are cannibals."
"Yes, sir. I tried to tell you--"
Han cut him off. "No wonder they were so quick to try to roast me alive."
"Oh no, sir. They were going to kill you before cooking you. They just wanted to have everything ready."
"Oh, I'm very comforted by that thought," said Han with a wince.
"I'm afraid that ewok physiology requires that a body be completely incapacitated after death." 3PO was radiating agitation.
"Dare I ask?"
Chewie echoed the question.
"Otherwise the body will react with the unique microorganisms found only in the soil of this moon to reanimate. Once 'revived,' the dead ewok hunts and feeds off the living. The bite of one of these reanimated dead infects living ewoks with the same affliction."
"So, they eat their dead before their dead can eat them?"
"Essentially, yes. They call it the Zhum Beie disease."
Chewie growled.
"Yeah, definitely not related, buddy. So... since not all the battle casualties were found in time, we have flesh-eating, walking ewok corpses trying to hunt and eat us, or turn us into more of them, or both."
"Yes, in fact there are missing villagers already, who will likely become walking dead themselves."
"Oh, man. I'm gonna kill Lando for this."
"Excuse me, sir, but I fail to see what General Calrissian has to do with our current situation."
"What he has to do with it," grated Han, "is that he banged up the Falcon enough that we're stuck here." He sighed, then shrugged his irritation off and went into general mode. "So if they're already dead, how are we supposed to kill them?"
"Apparently blows to the head sufficient to crush their skulls will stop them."
"Ah, the clubs." He and Chewie exchanged glances. "Alright, let's get back to camp and warn our people. We'll have to take extra care to protect the wounded -- they'll be in less shape to defend themselves."
The ewok guard escorted them again, back to their makeshift shipyard. 3PO muttered nervously, trying to peer into the dark trees surrounding them. "I wish R2 were here. Or rather I wish I were there. Oh dear!"
Finally Han snapped, "Wouldja pipe down already? I doubt anything's going to try to eat you."
"Oh!" exclaimed 3PO in realization, and turned to question one of the ewoks.
"Indeed," he translated, after listening to the reply. "That was why I am considered a god here. I am immune to the Zhum Beie disease, and to its victims. Well." He seemed much happier and more confident after that.
"Great. I'm thrilled for you," Han muttered wryly. Chewie shook his head.
Back in camp, Han quickly announced the situation, covered defense tactics and set up patrols. The wounded suddenly considered themselves lucky that they hadn't been at the feast once they learned what the main course had been. After that news, some of the repair crews looked like they were candidates for the hospital tent themselves.
Unable to sleep, Han spent the rest of the night circulating among the watches, hoping to get a glimpse of the enemy to see what they were up against. Finally, just before sunrise, he heard the sound of a blaster in the woods on the far side of their clearing. Racing over, he could make out one of the repair crew pressed into guard duty, Roberts, staring straight ahead with his blaster raised. He was shaking but determined. Following the line of sight, Han saw a rather gray and straggly looking ewok lurching forward.
Roberts fired again, taking off the creature's leg. That was enough to slow its forward motion to a literal crawl, as it persisted in attempting to reach them on all fours -- or threes, as it were.
"All right, a leg is good, buys you time," reassured Han with a pat on the shoulder as he reached Roberts. "But you really want to take the head shot." He raised his blaster and fired, splattering skull and brains on the forest floor.
Roberts fell to his knees and retched. Poor kid. He was there because he was the handiest thing with a wrench in five systems. Wasn't his fault he had no experience with guns.
"You did good, kid, really." Han helped him up and patted him on the shoulder again. "Get on back to the mess and drink some water. I'll be with you in a minute." Roberts nodded mutely and hurried off.
Han took a moment to go over to the creature and poke it with his boot. Rolling it this way and that, it looked like Roberts' first shot had missed it completely. So that slow shuffle was its normal speed? Good to know. The way it kept coming, even after its leg was gone, it didn't seem to have much intelligence or sense of self-preservation. Well why would it? It was already dead. Han shook his head. It was a strange universe, alright.
At least now he knew what they were up against.
Back in camp, he asked a few, quiet questions of Roberts to confirm his observations, before sending him off to bed. He tasked some men to burn the ewok's body, then held a briefing with his officers to update them on the situation. Feeling confident the situation was under control, it was time to catch up on that sleep.
"General Solo, sir!" Damn. Just as he'd almost reached the Falcon. He turned, and saw Doctor Fazel running after him, facial tentacles waving agitatedly.
"Sorry, sir, but I just thought you should know that Corporal Jensen hasn't shown up for his shift." At Han's blank look, he added, "One of our nurses, sir."
"Ah. Okay, how long has he been missing?"
"Well, actually, it could be as long as twelve hours. We just realized now."
Han spun around and recalled his ranking officers.
"All right, immediate roll call, all our people -- repair and medical. We already have a man missing." He filled them in on Corporal Jensen, including the physical description he'd gotten from the doctor. "If he's out there, we need to find him. But if he's sort of... shambling, looking gray, mindless -- it's too late. You need to shoot to kill -- head shot. Is everybody clear?" Four pairs of grim and determined eyes met his, and he nodded in satisfaction.
When he was left with only Chewbacca, he asked, "How in the hell did I end up in this?"
Chewie rumbled.
"I did not volunteer!"
A growled retort.
"Fine, I volunteered to fight the Empire. But I still didn't volunteer to fight off creepy, dead, zombie things." He shuddered, and settled in to wait for the roll call reports.
The news was bad, but it could have been worse. Five more personnel were missing. Descriptions were circulated among the patrols, in the hopes that they would be found, and Han finally turned in for some much-needed sleep.
The sun was still up when he awoke, and there was no news on further ewok attacks or their missing people. Han took advantage of the lull to eat and catch up with Chewbacca on the Falcon's repair status. After breakfast/dinner, he joined one of the search parties to take advantage of the light while they still could.
Sergeant Goran was in their group, and she turned out to be an excellent tracker. As they explored the path between camp and the ewok village, she noticed disturbed twigs. Following the trail, they found Jensen, half-buried in the ferns. Han and Chewbacca approached slowly, blasters out, while he waved the others to stay back. Chewbacca growled softly in anger as they saw the body. Random chunks of flesh had been torn off down to the bone.
Han was sickened and sorrowed. "All right, we're going to have to burn the body. There's enough left that he risks becoming one of those things, and I won't have it." He signaled Goran to bring over a tarp, and they wrapped the body to carry back. Once in camp, he sent his team off with instructions to prepare a pyre. When he was alone, he raised a rock overhead and brought it down hard on the shrouded skull. "Sorry about this Jensen, but I think you'll prefer it to the alternative."
It was a solemn group of personnel who attended the cremation.
As night fell, Han pulled the search parties back and kept the guard patrols limited to the perimeter of the ship repair camp and hospital tent clearing. He didn't care what happened out in the woods as long as he didn't lose any more men.
The people not on duty were having a hard time sleeping, and formed small huddles to whisper nervously. Han insisted Chewbacca sleep -- one of them had to -- while he circulated from post to post, checking in and spreading a little confidence and humor.
A few times during the night shots from the guards had Han immediately reaching for the radio as he ran towards the action. Each occasion turned out to be suspicious noises heard, but no actual creatures sighted. The false alarms were fine by Han -- better safe than sorry.
As the sun was coming up, Chewbacca stalked out of the Falcon and started to drag Han back to take a rest.
"All right, all right, buddy. Just let me wrap things up." It took a while to be satisfied that the night patrols were eating and resting, the day shifts were up and the search parties resumed. Finally he fell into his bunk with a groan and dropped off like a rock.
No sooner did he close his eyes than he was awakened to take an important communication. Blinking in the high sunlight, Han realized that he actually had slept -- it just didn't feel like it. But the medical transport was in orbit, and the patients needed to be moved out.
Han apprised the transport of their emergency situation, and learned to his relief that the transport would be able to take the full complement of wounded, plus all medical staff. While people bustled to bring the patients out on anti-grav gurneys, Han and Chewbacca surveyed the ships undergoing repair.
Faced with unknown numbers of, frankly incredibly creepy hostiles lurking in the forest, Han performed a harsh triage, making the command decision to abandon several ships that would take too long to repair, and to get as many as possible of the reparable fighters not yet up to interstellar travel into the medical transport's hangar bay.
Shuttles ferried the patients up and down to the transports, and crews were crawling over the ships readying to go.
In the midst of the organized chaos, a blood-curdling scream rang out. Everyone froze, then Han and several of his men went racing towards the forest edge.
One of the walking wounded -- Lieutenant Schramm? -- had knocked someone over into the undergrowth. Pale and shaking, he looked up towards the approaching soldiers. The figure on the forest floor started climbing back up, aiming towards Schramm again. Schramm took a good whack at him with his crutch, knocking him back and, with the clear shot, Han blasted his head off.
Schramm turned horrified and saddened eyes away from the sight, and looked up. "That was Reynolds," he said. Then he mutely held up his arm, where they could see blood dripping from a fresh bite. "Sorry, sir. He got me from behind before I knew he was there." Han remembered Schramm had damaged his eardrums in the battle.
"Damn it!" Han had to look away for a moment.
"If you please sir," Schramm recalled his attention. "I'd rather not go through..." he cocked his head towards the body by the side of the path. Then he stood as tall and straight as he could. "I said my goodbyes before we went into battle. I only want to say I'm proud to have played some small part in freeing the galaxy from the Empire." He stiffened into a salute.
Han solemnly did likewise. "It's been an honor, Lieutenant." Schramm nodded and closed his eyes. Han took the shot, watched the body fall, then whirled, unseeing, to stalk back to the Falcon.
"More guards," was all he snapped to Chewbacca, dogging his shoulder.
Chewbacca growled assent, and went to organize the patrols into better protection of the evacuees, while a detail set about creating pyres for Reynolds and Schramm.
Safely inside the Falcon, Han slammed the side of his fist into the bulkhead a few times before flipping around to lean against the wall and howl his rage at the ceiling. He'd seen a lot of ugliness in the galaxy -- hatred and greed and sheer survival. But this... this was just mindless, pointless, horror.
He slid to the floor, and sat unseeing until Chewbacca came to fetch him. "The patients are all shuttled?" he echoed his friend blankly, then snapped out of it. "All right." He slowly levered himself upright, and headed off to the comm officer.
Confirming with the transport the space available in their hangar bay, Han gave the order for the ships and personnel who were going to ready for departure. In the end, there were two ships near completion on their repairs and ten soldiers and mechanics who stayed behind with the Falcon, Han, Chewbacca and 3PO. These were good ships, and seasoned fighters who were up for sticking it out. And it was enough personnel to protect the shipyard while work was going on.
Han saw Roberts boarding a shuttle to go. "Hey, I'll be looking you up if I do some mods to the Falcon." Roberts grinned in hero-worship, the trauma of the previous night's zombie ewok attack fading now that he was leaving. Han clapped him on the shoulder and sent him up the ramp. Good kid, deserved better than war or plague. Han was glad he was out of it.
The remaining personnel watched in silence as a mini flotilla lifted off the surface and into the sky. "All I can say," Han confided in Chewbacca, "is that Lando better get here tomorrow." The wookiee enthusiastically agreed.
The excitement over and their skeleton crew organized, Han, Chewbacca and 3PO headed back to the ewok village to update them on their scheduled departure.
"General Han, sir, do you think more of the ewok villagers will have succumbed to the Zhum Beie?"
"I don't know. We'll find out when we get there."
"Hmm. I hope they're all right. I do hate to see..."
"3PO! Quiet! I need to be able to hear if any of those things are coming."
"Of course, sir."
Two minutes later: "I do hope none of our missing personnel have been attacking the ewoks..."
"3PO!" Chewbacca added a glare.
"I beg your pardon, sir, I just..."
Han turned on 3PO, whipped open a panel and pulled a wire. 3PO jerked with the effort to speak, but no sound came out.
"Quiet, see?" Han shook his head in exasperation and they continued through the forest.
As they neared the village, Han reattached 3PO's voice systems. He didn't want to get clubbed by zombie hunters, or get roasted for attacking the "god."
"Hello! Hello!" 3PO called out loudly as they came down the final stretch. A group of grim and determined ewoks met them at the village edge and welcomed 3PO gravely, then indicated that they should continue through. Looking around, Han noticed that their patrols were also limited to their immediate perimeter, not out into the forest as they had been before. Not a good sign.
3PO entered into conversation with the ewok chieftan -- Han still had a hard time taking a guy with a bird skull on his hat seriously -- and turned occasionally to translate. "They saw our ships take off and are pleased to know many of our people reached safety... They wish us well in being able to leave tomorrow and caution us to be vigilant until then... Oh dear. Oh dear!"
"What?"
"It appears our missing people have been involved in attacks. With their height and longer reach they are quite a challenge for the ewoks, even with clubs. I'm afraid the guards have only been able to take down one of the human zhum beies. The other humans have managed to infect five ewoks -- that they know of."
"Damn." Han looked away. "Damn damn damn." He was feeling that pesky conscience thing. "Chewie, we're ready to go as soon as we get that one missing part installed, right?"
Chewbacca growled assent.
Han thumbed his comm link. "Crowe, Solo. How are you set back there?"
"We're good, General."
"You be all right if we stay in the village a while?"
"We have two shifts of guards for each repairman -- we're fine. Trouble in the village?"
"Bit of a problem we should clean up if we can. Keep in touch."
"Yes, sir."
Han switched the link off. "All right 3PO, let them know that we're going to stick around to help." Chewbacca gave him a silent look of approval.
As 3PO translated, a positive-sounding murmur went through the ewoks.
"Okay, by my count, there are three unaccounted for from our personnel. Does that match how many of our zombies have been attacking them?"
3PO conferred. "Well, sir, they think you all look alike, so it's hard for them to say." Han snorted. "But that does sound like a reasonable guess to them."
"All right, let's make a plan..."
In the end, the plan consisted of mainly waiting around with the guards for zombies to show up. A special shrill whistle warned when zombies were heard approaching through the trees. Han and Chewbacca would race towards the hot spot and then use their blasters to take the creature's head off when it came into sight. It was a huge tactical advantage when the ewoks usually had to wait until the zombies got into clubbing range. The edge was taken off the celebration of each success, though, by the fact that these had been their friends and family.
Inevitably a human zombie came. "Sinclair. Damn." He had led up the rebel ground troops watching the shield bunker while Han was in the ewok village. Chewie softly growled the question.
"No, thanks buddy. I got it." Han steeled himself and raised the blaster. There was only a second's hesitation compared to the shots against the ewok zombies. He fired, clean. Small paws patted him on the hip in commiseration.
Through the night, Han kept vigil, grim-faced, with the ewok patrols. A few more ewok zombies shambled through the woods towards them, and were handled by their club-wielding former friends.
The attacks tapered off towards dawn, and 3PO came to Han with the news that the ewoks were insisting he take a rest. "They do promise to rouse you if you are needed."
Han grudgingly agreed to go lie down -- on two sleeping pallets pushed end-to-end to fit his frame. Flashes of stringy, gray matted fur, torn limbs with exposed tendons and bone, the distinctive crunch of club meeting skull, and the faces of his men as they dissolved in a crimson spray haunted him. Eventually his body dropped into an uneasy sleep.
Chewbacca was leaning over him, shaking his shoulder to wake up. As he opened his eyes, what he thought was Chewbacca turned out to be an ewok, mindlessly intent on pulling his arm out towards its viciously sharp-toothed little mouth. Han tried to push it off but it turned out to be as strong as his wookiee friend. Bits of rotted flesh were dropping off of its own wounds onto Han as he opened his mouth and screamed for help.
And then Chewbacca was leaning over him, shaking his shoulder to wake up. Han sat up gasping. "Chewie, is that really you?" He looked him over, making sure Chewbacca was in one piece and alert. Han then shook his head to clear it. "Never mind sleeping. What's been going on?"
Chewbacca filled him in on the latest check-in from the shipyard. The night had been fairly quiet, but a few zombies had shown up in the early morning. One of three ships was ready to go and the other was close.
"And here?"
All quiet so far.
Han added another pallet to the end of his makeshift bed and insisted Chewbacca try to sleep while he rejoined the village guards.
Mid-morning, Captain Crowe radioed in. "Sir, we have General Calrissian on the comm. He's just entered the system, and should be here in less than an hour."
"Can you patch him through?"
"Yes, sir."
The next voice was far happier and more carefree than Han had heard for days. "Han, old buddy. Bet you can't wait to see me."
"More like I can't wait to see the part you've brought me." Han was sure his voice was betraying his exhaustion and grim mood, but he couldn't spare the energy for his usual cockiness. "Look, Lando, we have a situation here."
"What's going on?"
"Well, basically, we're under attack from these... bodies that have risen from the dead and want to eat us." There really was no way to dress it up, was there?
"You're kidding." Lando waited. "Good one, Han, you are kidding!"
"I wish I were, buddy. I really, really wish I were." Han's voice was the proof. He added, "I guess you hadn't heard the news already from the medical transport."
"Uh, no. I've been in hyperdrive." Lando was dumbstruck. "Wow. Hey, are you all okay? What's the situation?"
"Five casualties among our people, and two men, whereabouts unknown, infected with this zombie thing. Just about everybody else shipped out yesterday. I've got ten men back at the shipyard finishing up with the repairs. Chewie, 3PO and I are in the ewok village, helping out here. They can handle zombies of their own kind, but human zombies are a little much for them. I want to make sure they're okay before taking off."
"Understood. ETA is 50 minutes. I'll head for the shipyard and get the Falcon ready if you're not back yet."
"Thanks, buddy."
Chewbacca had been listening in and softly growled a question. "I don't know. I just hope it won't come to leaving before we've finished the job."
Han prowled restlessly around the perimeter of the village, peering intently into the forest, trying to will the two remaining threats to the ewoks to appear. "C'mon. C'mon!" he muttered under his breath. Chewbacca waited stoically beside him, while 3PO danced agitatedly behind, wisely, though, keeping silent.
"Dammit! 3PO is there any way to draw those things towards us?"
3PO inquired among the ewoks. "I'm afraid not, sir. They'll approach in their own time, when they're moved to feed."
"Great." Han waggled his fingers against his thigh holster impatiently, then took off on another circuit of the perimeter to burn off his energy.
"General!" His radio crackled to life. "We have hostiles here. Repeat, we have hostiles!"
Han was already taking off at a run, Chewbacca on his heels. "Situation?"
3PO gave a hurried explanation to the ewoks, then headed down the path after them.
"There are ewok zombies coming through the woods from every direction, sir. We appear to be surrounded, but as yet we don't have visual confirmation or target acquisition," reported Crowe.
"Hang tight, we're on our way."
"Use extreme caution on your approach, sir. As I said, they're all around us."
"Understood." Han felt too damn far away. No wonder there hadn't been any attacks at the village lately -- all the damn things had been heading for the ship yard. They ran faster, 3PO's cries of "Oh dear, wait" fading further into the distance.
"We have visual now, sir. There are scores of them." Crowe sounded a little nauseated at the sight. Understandably. "And we can see Speckler and Hogan. They're with them."
"All right. First priority is your defense. Do whatever you can to avoid being bitten. Second priority is taking out our guys. I'm guessing they were the ones who were able to infect a whole lotta the little guys."
"Yes, sir, understood."
"Keep the link open. We're still a good 10 minutes out."
Han listened, feeling helpless as Crowe gathered everyone into a central knot around one ship, facing out against their threat. Blaster shots rang through the radio. He could hear Crowe yelling, "Body shots have little effect! Leg wounds slow 'em a little, but you've got to get the head! They won't stop until you get the head! Goran! Behind you!" That last was nearly a shriek. From the sounds coming through, it seemed they'd picked up whatever was handy to use as clubs.
"Crowe, get your men into the ship!" Han yelled.
"Tried to sir, but they've blocked the door."
Ahead along the path Han could barely see the clearing coming up. All he could make out was a short gray-brown knot of movement pulsing around one of the ships. "Coming Crowe, hang on!" But he was too far still to really be able to see. Way too far to be able to shoot.
Suddenly a whoosh overhead ruffled his hair, and he saw a ship speeding towards his besieged crew. Laser fire streamed out of her forward guns, taking out several zombies along the edge of the mob.
"General Calrissian, sir." Han could hear Crowe's conversation with the ship. "We're all pressed against the walls. If you could direct all your fire in one area of the creatures in front of us, we can break through the hole. Once in the open, we're faster."
"You got it, Major." Lando's ship made a graceful U turn in the sky, and came back on another strafing run, this time concentrated on one side of the mob. Han was close enough now to see the flash of clubs and blaster fire as the group expanded their escape route. They came running through the break, more or less in his direction.
A piercing shriek echoed across the clearing. Crowe glanced back for a fraction of a second, then sprinted ahead before turning back and firing. The screaming stopped abruptly.
The zombies were far slower and soon there was a healthy gap between the hunters and prey that Lando used to his advantage, returning to fire again and again on the leading attackers.
Han and Chewbacca veered their trajectory towards Crowe's party. As they met up, they looked back to see zombies placidly climbing over the smoking corpses of their fallen brethren or matter-of-factly picking themselves up and continuing forward despite gaping wounds. Their progress was slowed sufficiently that the pursued were able to slow to a jog, then turn and take a stand. Han and Chewbacca shared a glance, and raised blasters in unison to take out the two human zombies, lurching and hunched by their semi-decayed state, but still standing taller than the rest of the mob.
The other soldiers stood fast, and sniped each new front leader rising over the small hill of stopped bodies. Lando continued his firing runs, until none of the zombies was mobile. Not all were completely destroyed, but at least they could be avoided.
Half the men were detailed to circle at a safe distance from the zombies' final stand and finish them off, while Han and Crowe went with the rest of the men to the pile of gore in front of the ship. Han winced at the sight of Goran, body mutilated with teeth marks. He glanced a question at Crowe. "One of them got its teeth into her when we ran for it. She was already compromised -- there was nothing we could do for her." Han nodded sadly.
"All right. Make sure all these are..." He mimed a gun to the head, then headed towards the space where Lando was setting his ship down.
"Showed up just in time, buddy. You like those dramatic entrances, don'cha."
Lando was looking around at the carnage, stunned. Then he collected himself enough to crack back, "Well, somebody's got to be the hero."
"Oh my! Is everybody all right?" They turned to see 3PO hurrying into the clearing. "My word, General Solo, you certainly have been busy here."
Han rolled his eyes at the droid and gestured Lando back into the ship to get the long-awaited hyperdrive part. Tossing it to Chewbacca, he said, "Get this installed. I want us off this damn rock as soon as we can possibly manage." Then he coordinated with Crowe on the evacuation of the rest of the men. Lando would be heading to Naboo with them, so arrangements were made for the other three ships and who would crew them.
As the men were figuring out how exactly to deal with all the rotting corpses, a contingent of ewoks from the village entered the area. A murmur of astonishment came from them as they surveyed the piles of bodies.
Han snagged 3PO and went to meet them. "3PO, tell them that all the human zombies are..." He drew a line across his neck. "I don't know if there are any more ewok zombies out there, but this should even up the odds for them."
3PO nodded and translated. The murmurs became awed, and the ewoks began bobbing in that little bow thing towards 3PO that they tended to do. "Oh dear, no!" exclaimed 3PO, at the same time Han burst out, "Aw, c'mon! It was us! Crowe and Lando and me and Chewie! This guy missed the whole thing!" But it was useless to protest. He gave up in exasperation.
The ewok chieftan jabbered some more at 3PO. "General, sir. He suggests that your men not bother with disposing of the bodies. His people will take care of it."
"They're not going to eat them all, are they?" asked Han, incredulous.
"Oh no, sir. I'm afraid there's far too many for that. But they will make sure there is no more danger."
"All right." He turned and shouted to Crowe, "Call 'em off, the furballs are on cleanup detail. Get everyone prepped to go." Crowe saluted in response. Chewbacca stuck his head out the door of the Falcon, so he shouted to him, "She ready?" The growl said yes.
"Okay, 3PO. Tell these guys thanks for the hospitality and that we're off." 3PO's message caused a stir of activity among the ewoks. They broke off in groups to hug the legs of their human (and wookiee and droid) friends, causing a slight amount of alarm in those who had been so recently surrounded in very different circumstances by ewoks. But these were obviously healthy and friendly, so affectionate pats were traded, and their goodbyes made.
Finally, Han and Chewbacca were seated at the Falcon's controls, Lando hanging over their shoulders. 3PO was sitting farther back, murmuring happily to himself about his anticipated reunion with R2.
"Sure you don't want me to fly her," offered Lando.
"Uh uh -- you're not touching 'er." Han continued flipping switches for pre-flight.
As the Millennium Falcon rose over the heads of the ewoks along with the other ships, Han set the course for Naboo.
"Fine, you're going to see your girlfriend. You can quit it with your smug smile," Lando teased.
"This isn't a smug smile, it's a... cocky grin," retorted Han.
Chewie growled.
"Nobody asked you!" But Han was still smiling as he hit the hyperdrive and the stars streaked past them.
FIN