(no subject)
zombiedragqueen is poisonous! Induce vomitting if ingested.N
POISON
From Go-Quiz.com
^_^ I'd agree with that, &I'm sure some of you guys do too. :D
Anyway, last night was pretty good except for my emo-ness. :P Met Kate, Leesh, Dan, Nigel &Lee at the bus station, went to the Jameson where Lee spilt blue reef all over my leg, haha. Thanks for that. :P So I liberated said blue Reef off him &drank some of it, as well as some of the purple Reef he had.
Went to Pzazz &had a dance &stuff, then I started getting all emo because of stuff. I'll probably write more about that later, but right now the phrase, "if you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face for all eternity" (1984) springs to mind since it's felt like everytime I pick myself up off the ground over the past few days, something else comes along &kicks me down again.
I think I'm just really stressed about my exams, I have PMS &I'm just generally down &annoyed, plus GUYS SUCK! Sorry, most of you on here don't, but in general, guys are shits &girls probably aren't much better.
&I very nearly hacked bits out of me the other day, all that stopped me was knowing that I can't undo the past five years of good work I've done with not self-harming seriously. I can't deny I've had lapses every now &again, but I've not cut &that's the main thing. It just gets so hard to deal with sometimes. That was what I meant last night about finding it difficult to deal with peoples' attitudes sometimes, like nobody wants a woman with a mind &an opinion of her own who's strong willed &stuff. It's one thing to fight against the morons of the world, it's quite another to have to fight said morons while you're fighting your own self destructive urges &the fact that your body &brain is telling you to slice yourself up with a razorblade. That's what I find difficult to deal with, &that's when I need support, but sometimes I feel like people are so unable to do that because they just assume I can handle these things. I can &I will if I have to, but like I said, being alone isn't something I want, it's just either an exercise in damage limitation or something I've had to do. Plus I think I've seriously fucked up my brain chemistry with all the self-harming; the endorphin system in my brain is probably junkie-fucked for the rest of my life. So of course the other night I got hideous withdrawal symptoms, &although I dearly hope none of you ever have to see me get in that state (it's beyond me running into the loos to have panic attacks (I tried so hard to get to the toilets before I started crying my eyes out, but to avail)), it'd be nice to have someone to calm me down &make sure I don't go stupid &scratch up my arms just because I've totally dissociated &lost the ability to think straight. It's like all my strength goes on preventing a breakdown &staying alive, so there's not strength left to be me after I've done that.
POISON
From Go-Quiz.com
^_^ I'd agree with that, &I'm sure some of you guys do too. :D
Anyway, last night was pretty good except for my emo-ness. :P Met Kate, Leesh, Dan, Nigel &Lee at the bus station, went to the Jameson where Lee spilt blue reef all over my leg, haha. Thanks for that. :P So I liberated said blue Reef off him &drank some of it, as well as some of the purple Reef he had.
Went to Pzazz &had a dance &stuff, then I started getting all emo because of stuff. I'll probably write more about that later, but right now the phrase, "if you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face for all eternity" (1984) springs to mind since it's felt like everytime I pick myself up off the ground over the past few days, something else comes along &kicks me down again.
I think I'm just really stressed about my exams, I have PMS &I'm just generally down &annoyed, plus GUYS SUCK! Sorry, most of you on here don't, but in general, guys are shits &girls probably aren't much better.
&I very nearly hacked bits out of me the other day, all that stopped me was knowing that I can't undo the past five years of good work I've done with not self-harming seriously. I can't deny I've had lapses every now &again, but I've not cut &that's the main thing. It just gets so hard to deal with sometimes. That was what I meant last night about finding it difficult to deal with peoples' attitudes sometimes, like nobody wants a woman with a mind &an opinion of her own who's strong willed &stuff. It's one thing to fight against the morons of the world, it's quite another to have to fight said morons while you're fighting your own self destructive urges &the fact that your body &brain is telling you to slice yourself up with a razorblade. That's what I find difficult to deal with, &that's when I need support, but sometimes I feel like people are so unable to do that because they just assume I can handle these things. I can &I will if I have to, but like I said, being alone isn't something I want, it's just either an exercise in damage limitation or something I've had to do. Plus I think I've seriously fucked up my brain chemistry with all the self-harming; the endorphin system in my brain is probably junkie-fucked for the rest of my life. So of course the other night I got hideous withdrawal symptoms, &although I dearly hope none of you ever have to see me get in that state (it's beyond me running into the loos to have panic attacks (I tried so hard to get to the toilets before I started crying my eyes out, but to avail)), it'd be nice to have someone to calm me down &make sure I don't go stupid &scratch up my arms just because I've totally dissociated &lost the ability to think straight. It's like all my strength goes on preventing a breakdown &staying alive, so there's not strength left to be me after I've done that.