the heart, the heart: it beats for blood
So in a hilarious moment that captured why I shouldn't be allowed to have nice things, I had a freak out today about "OH MY GOD NEW ORLEANS WHY I CAN'T PLAN OUR TRIP WHAT SHOULD WE DO TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY OH MY GOD," and, like, what. First world problems so hard. I promptly ran out and bought a ten dollar duffel bag, because it turns out I own no actual luggage suitable for planes that doesn't need to be checked. Now I have something to stash my toothbrush and shit in. This resolved my anxiety to a great extent.
I think what tipped me over the edge was magical karate boyfriend announcing that he was going to costume himself, and costume himself as the phantom of the opera. This is clearly too many of my dreams coming true at once. And did I mention that the Hannibal Rising/XMFC fusion got written, and it is beautiful? I did? Well, let me mention it again. Clearly I am going to die of sheer kink fulfillment in short order.
But given that I have, like, two days, what am I going to dress up as for Halloween to coordinate? Christine? No time, and no space to fit a big ass fucking period dress onto my carry on. My current idea is basically: phantom of the titopera. I can get a mask and cape in two days, but as for the rest of it
Shitty mirror pics go go go
MY BUTTONS ARE SKULLS:
Studbelt is only there as an afterthought to hide the way the elastic digs into my soft and fleshy flesh. In case you didn't know: I have gigantic fucking hips. Also breasts. And a lack of torso in between, which is the place in my body all my short is concentrated in. I am below average height, with average length legs.
Tangentially related to body whatever, here was today's work out (I missed my chance for a run outside because I was distracted by TERRIBLE PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET--you know who you are--chat time was amazing, you ruffians, you):
5 rounds, each round consisting of:
+15 bicep curls (10 pound weights)
+105 ball crunches (125 in last two rounds)
+50 squats
It sucked. NONE OF THAT SHOULD BE HARD, but, ugh, I've been lazy and just doing cardio lately--and not even that as much as I should. Still, I concentrated on form (squats, I hate you, I hate doing you properly). It was still a proper non-running workout for me, though, because somewhere in the middle I went "fuck fuck fuck why am I doing this to myself oh god why what." Overcoming despair is essential to the process!
The only reason I run instead of anything else is because it soothes me. There is a certain macho satisfaction from other exercise, but only the run for me is, zzzz, tune in, drop out of reality.
Anyway, I should run more. And maybe go back to actually lifting weights one day because two years ago I weighed 115 and deadlifted 155, and that was super fucking rad. And I was doing bicep curls with 30 pounders. Fucking hell.
Sigh.
And yet, I don't know, I am pretty happy about everything. It's so strange. Or it isn't, really. Body whatever. So odd.
And I am missing pants. Or skirt. Or shorts. Or even coordinating panties. Who the fuck knows. I have no idea what would work. I have a great pair of shoes picked out though, of course. Warning, I guess: pictures in above cut do not involve pants.
In other news,
+Quito (formerly Gorilla Boyfriend) and I are having a tiff.
+I am still on the fucking monkey project what in fuck why why why
+The bonobos have not killed themselves; hooray
+Dwarf dog got adopted
+ Radiator Dog the Tuxedo Mutt has not been adopted, so I get to walk him and dreamily talk about the Hannibal fill. This dog is probably developing some terrible conditioned response to the words "I'm a doctor!"
+I started part II of the dog AU and I will post it on Friday
+Possibly with a seasonal vegan recipe to accompany it
+Halloween special fic, aka Zombie Apocalypse, is coming along well in terms of quality (I am pleased), but poorly in terms of speed/verbosity (goddamnit)
+apparently we're part of the group forming a local hackerspace now.
+this is potentially super cool
+and I plan on fighting like hell to get more girls in there
+I made another batch of henna!
Henna is awesome.
Although not as awesome as the color I WISH my hair was:
the above being the picture I put on tumblr to amuse myself.
I think of this hair as being my Jean Grey hair. Because I'm a Mary Sue and I have ALL THE POWERS and EVERYBODY LOVES ME, or something? Honestly, I should probably associate red hair with Babs or something. SORRY BATGIRL.
Only Bruce matters. Sorry. Sorry. BAT FAMILY I WISH I COULD LOVE YOU.
Note also new Hannibal icon. I had to. I'm squirming over what I can delete to put this one somewhere. And maybe this one, because his "bitch, what," face is grand.
I think what tipped me over the edge was magical karate boyfriend announcing that he was going to costume himself, and costume himself as the phantom of the opera. This is clearly too many of my dreams coming true at once. And did I mention that the Hannibal Rising/XMFC fusion got written, and it is beautiful? I did? Well, let me mention it again. Clearly I am going to die of sheer kink fulfillment in short order.
But given that I have, like, two days, what am I going to dress up as for Halloween to coordinate? Christine? No time, and no space to fit a big ass fucking period dress onto my carry on. My current idea is basically: phantom of the titopera. I can get a mask and cape in two days, but as for the rest of it
Shitty mirror pics go go go
MY BUTTONS ARE SKULLS:
Studbelt is only there as an afterthought to hide the way the elastic digs into my soft and fleshy flesh. In case you didn't know: I have gigantic fucking hips. Also breasts. And a lack of torso in between, which is the place in my body all my short is concentrated in. I am below average height, with average length legs.
Tangentially related to body whatever, here was today's work out (I missed my chance for a run outside because I was distracted by TERRIBLE PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET--you know who you are--chat time was amazing, you ruffians, you):
5 rounds, each round consisting of:
+15 bicep curls (10 pound weights)
+105 ball crunches (125 in last two rounds)
+50 squats
It sucked. NONE OF THAT SHOULD BE HARD, but, ugh, I've been lazy and just doing cardio lately--and not even that as much as I should. Still, I concentrated on form (squats, I hate you, I hate doing you properly). It was still a proper non-running workout for me, though, because somewhere in the middle I went "fuck fuck fuck why am I doing this to myself oh god why what." Overcoming despair is essential to the process!
The only reason I run instead of anything else is because it soothes me. There is a certain macho satisfaction from other exercise, but only the run for me is, zzzz, tune in, drop out of reality.
Anyway, I should run more. And maybe go back to actually lifting weights one day because two years ago I weighed 115 and deadlifted 155, and that was super fucking rad. And I was doing bicep curls with 30 pounders. Fucking hell.
Sigh.
And yet, I don't know, I am pretty happy about everything. It's so strange. Or it isn't, really. Body whatever. So odd.
And I am missing pants. Or skirt. Or shorts. Or even coordinating panties. Who the fuck knows. I have no idea what would work. I have a great pair of shoes picked out though, of course. Warning, I guess: pictures in above cut do not involve pants.
In other news,
+Quito (formerly Gorilla Boyfriend) and I are having a tiff.
+I am still on the fucking monkey project what in fuck why why why
+The bonobos have not killed themselves; hooray
+Dwarf dog got adopted
+ Radiator Dog the Tuxedo Mutt has not been adopted, so I get to walk him and dreamily talk about the Hannibal fill. This dog is probably developing some terrible conditioned response to the words "I'm a doctor!"
+I started part II of the dog AU and I will post it on Friday
+Possibly with a seasonal vegan recipe to accompany it
+Halloween special fic, aka Zombie Apocalypse, is coming along well in terms of quality (I am pleased), but poorly in terms of speed/verbosity (goddamnit)
+apparently we're part of the group forming a local hackerspace now.
+this is potentially super cool
+and I plan on fighting like hell to get more girls in there
+I made another batch of henna!
Henna is awesome.
Although not as awesome as the color I WISH my hair was:
the above being the picture I put on tumblr to amuse myself.
I think of this hair as being my Jean Grey hair. Because I'm a Mary Sue and I have ALL THE POWERS and EVERYBODY LOVES ME, or something? Honestly, I should probably associate red hair with Babs or something. SORRY BATGIRL.
Only Bruce matters. Sorry. Sorry. BAT FAMILY I WISH I COULD LOVE YOU.
Note also new Hannibal icon. I had to. I'm squirming over what I can delete to put this one somewhere. And maybe this one, because his "bitch, what," face is grand.