FANDOM MEME THING

[zombieboyband]

Taken from the lovely introductory

The Hypothetical AU Meme: Take any one of the fandoms you know I am familiar with, and give me a type of AU (space opera AU, pirate AU, superhero AU, Ancient Rome, etc). I will then explain what story from your chosen fandom I would write for your chosen type of AU.GO GO ASK NOW EVERYTHING. I'm going to bed now and I want to

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Re: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN OFFICE!AU: Bright Future in Sales - 4 - (NOW WITH MORE HEARTACHE)

[zombieboyband]

But Ennis is eventually, like, so, uh, I'VE GOT ENOUGH MONEY TO GET MARRIED. And Jack is so fucking heartbroken and shell shocked (how could Ennis possibly have intended this the whole time?) and he's like, uh. Well. Congrats, I guess.

And Ennis is like, yeah.

And maybe the awkward silence was meant to be filled with Jack's Grand Dramatic Speech, but he's sick of love if that's what the feeling in his shredded chest is, so he stays quiet.

Ennis goes and marries Alma and it's awful but then it's great but he can't fuck her like he fucked Jack; there isn't the rough, rowdy subdued strength in her limbs and punching doesn't count as foreplay. And it's weird, but it's great, and he's a man now, but he still thinks about leaving. But then she gets pregnant, and he's elated. Everything is gonna be fine. Except for how they have no money, but things will work out.

MEANWHILE, Jack goes on an epic GET TO KNOW HIMSELF TOUR, and he fucks babes and dudes and everything in between and other on the gender spectrum, because he's pretty, and because he can, and because he decides to fucking leave his hellhole of a state and go to all the places that the people he grew up with thought dirty. And it's great! He was totally freaked out for a while, but, whatever, in the scene, you meet some pretty sexually diverse dudes who can fucking shred guitar and shit, so he's not as isolated from the idea as Ennis is. And he almost settles down, almost, it's so close, the girl is beautiful and pushy and gorgeous--

But she has a career and he sort of finds out she thinks of him as a future trophy husband, and he actually is kind of offended by that.

So he looks up Ennis.

And it's fucking fireworks and beauty and like everything he's ever wanted and like air after being half strangled to death. And that's just for him; he wonders what it is for Ennis.

So they meet up sometimes--they get nostaglic for shitty motels and cheap booze--but it's not enough and after a couple of years Jack's like, man, we could just, like. Have a bed that doesn't suck and a place with a roof to fuck on that we don't share with roaches.

And Ennis is like, yeah? how do you figure?

And Jack's quietly like, I got a place.

And Ennis scoffs at him.

But Jack isn't--he isn't a fucking girl here, and whatever, girls shouldn't have to take that shit even from fucking gorgeous humbug Ennis del Mar, so he snaps, yeah, fuck, that's crazy, isn't it? Almost as crazy as having a wife and kid and living a total fucking lie.

So, uh, Ennis hits him.

So Jack hits him back, and the tussle and it's hard and fast and nasty and not their like usual fight-rutting-tease fights, until Jack grits out, you're fucking killing me you fucking son of a bitch and you're lying to to your wife and your kid and yourself and in New York we could be FUCKING MARRIED if you weren't such a fucking heartless DICK.

And it's the wrong thing to say, because Ennis freezes and scrambles away and out the door, and Jack's heart breaks into a million pieces. Ennis was killing him, yeah, but little by little and half a life is better than none at all and now Jack has nothing, nothing.

Re: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN OFFICE!AU: Bright Future in Sales - 5 - (NOW WITH MORE FIXIT)

[zombieboyband]

So he scrapes himself back together and then decides: FUCK IT, I'M MOVING TO NEW YORK. Just as a symbolism thing. And, like, he posts on facebook about it and uploads pictures of his tiny ass (but AWESOME) apartment and he's just like, fuck it, I'm living more me, and maaaybe someone needs a drummer here?

And life chugs along okay but then he gets beat up some, not too bad, but kind of bad, a few days in the hospital bad, and he uploads pictures of that, too, his bruises and his concussion and his broken arm.

So two weeks later he opens his door and fucking Ennis is on his doorstep, and Jack nearly fucking dies.

And Ennis is all, YOUR FACE, FUCK.

And Jack is like, what?

And then he realizes Ennis is tearing up and looking awful torn up, so he decides that he really has to scale the painkillers back some because, jesus, he's tripping.

But then hallucination!Ennis shoves his way in and he's fucking babbling, right, words spilling out of that hard slit of a mouth like they never have before and it's all Jack Jack how could they hurt you how could you let them I'm so sorry little darling I wasn't there to stop them and and and--

And Jack is like, oh, jesus, I'm dying.

And Ennis is like, WHAAAT

And Jack is like, wait, no, I mean, like, I can't believe this is happening.

And Ennis looks freaked out as fuck and blurts out,

DON'T DIE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I JUST CAME ALL THE WAY HERE AND LEFT ALMA AND JESUS CHRIST DON'T DIE.

And Jack's like, I'll try?

And then Ennis clears his throat mutters, andtheanswerisyes, I will.

And Jack is like, the what is the what? and Ennis is like NOTHING and it takes Jack like 20 awkward minutes to figure it out and then he's like,

OH MY GOD I WASN'T PROPOSING TO YOU THAT DAY, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.

And Ennis looks so godawful that Jack loses his shit and laughing is probably the wrong thing to do because he wheezes out, I don't even have a ring, fuck, what the fuck is my life, I'm in a shitty band and I kind of don't have too much to offer you but Ennis, I would totally marry your stupid face any day of the week.

And Ennis is like, what the fuck does that even mean?

And Jack is like, it means we're fucking engaged, fuck you. I have a cupcake topper somewhere, I think it's a ring, wait there.

AND IT'S AWKWARD AND WEIRD AND ENNIS TOTALLY VISITS HIS DAUGHTER BUT IT'S WEEEIRD AND IT'S HARD TO MAKE CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS SOMETIMES BUT WAKING UP NEXT TO JACK IS AWESOME AND THEY MAKE IT WORK.

ALSO THEY GET MARRIED.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER, THE END.

Re: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN OFFICE!AU: Bright Future in Sales - 5 - (NOW WITH MORE FIXIT)

[uniformly]

HOLY SHIT. I DID NOT GET THIS IN MY INBOX. WTF WHY /STARTS READING

Re: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN OFFICE!AU: Bright Future in Sales - 5 - (NOW WITH MORE FIXIT)

[uniformly]

JFKLSDJFKDSJFKLJSDKLF';EKLW WORDS. WHAT ARE THEY. I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT WORK, TURNED OFF MY MUSIC AND HUNCHED IN FRONT OF MY SCREEN AND READ THE HELL OUT OF THIS.

HOLY SHIT. EVEN IN A QUICK RUN DOWN THERE ARE FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS AND ENNIS, YOU ARE NOT GOOD AT THIS GAME.

And Ennis looks so godawful that Jack loses his shit and laughing is probably the wrong thing to do because he wheezes out, I don't even have a ring, fuck, what the fuck is my life, I'm in a shitty band and I kind of don't have too much to offer you but Ennis, I would totally marry your stupid face any day of the week.

And Ennis is like, what the fuck does that even mean?

And Jack is like, it means we're fucking engaged, fuck you. I have a cupcake topper somewhere, I think it's a ring, wait there.

MY HEART

Re: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN OFFICE!AU: Bright Future in Sales - 5 - (NOW WITH MORE FIXIT)

[zombieboyband]

THE REASON MY CREATIVE LIFE IS CHAOS/SHAMBLES IS BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT MY "OUTLINES" LOOK LIKE, BUT WITH MORE BULLET POINTS. Like exactly the same shit in run on sentences, but randomly in bullet points.

I AM GLAD YOU LIKED MAGICAL MARRIAGE RESOLUTION. I mean, what the fuck, it's like 40 years later; Jack would probably get his sexuality shit in order in an accepting environment and Ennis, what the hell, Ennis. YOU ARE NOT GOOD AT THIS GAME AT ALL. But Jack, if more self confident, would totally just be able to bulldozer him into domestic bliss, okay.

Also: in my head, it's a Batman cupcake topper ring, because I have one. And why not.

ALSO I LOOOVE YOU.

Re: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN OFFICE!AU: Bright Future in Sales - 5 - (NOW WITH MORE FIXIT)

[uniformly]

kdsfjk, bb. This is how my fic is created (if I bother outlining at all):

- starts in the medic boat.
- leckie and runner reunite.
- head back to america.
- reunite with hoosier, omg.

- eventually part ways.
- find out timing, ie. how many mths after they're home that the war ends.

- follow runner first.
- how he deals with the aftermath.
- healing, his arm (research, pretty sure it's bad to be shot like that.)
- leg.
- he's totally pining after chuckler and wants to know wtf happened to him.
- starts with leckie first for some reason.

- leckie and runner.
- relationship with leckie's parents, and runner notices.
- relationship with vera.

- takes a break from it all, and agrees to look for chuckler.

- find him and he and runner embark on a life together (and not like that 8|).
- robert's wedding and reunited.

- ALL GOOD AND ALL BRO.
- THE END.

--------------

- leckie freaking out about the rain.
- blah blah blah.

- hoosier.
- he's alright.
- rhsgofjklrsjdgklr.

- OKAY. LET'S GET CHUCKLER.

- drive into.
- chuckler's not back yet.

- they go back.

- follow runner.
- what does he do, his job.

- war is over.

- BUT THEN CHUCKLER TURNS UP TO RUNNER'S PLACE. Y/N?.

- ENDS WITH LECKIE'S WEDDING.

There was probably a reason that particular fic never made the finish line, but anyway. OUTLINES.

Totally agreeing with Jack and his sexuality. And it's been awhile since I've watched BBM, but now I need to see it again like burning so I can admire this outline LIKE IT DESERVES.

LOL&heart;, I love you and your crazy self :DDD

Re: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN OFFICE!AU: Bright Future in Sales - 5 - (NOW WITH MORE FIXIT)

[zombieboyband]

(research, pretty sure it's bad to be shot like that.)

Dude, I'm supposed to be asleep right now and I just LOST IT, omg. I love you and your outline and "war is over" and ALL GOOD AND ALL BRO, which should be like how we sign off on conversations or something.

ENDS WITH LECKIE'S WEDDING.

I love you forevvver, really. I should probably let you go back to work though. And take myself to bed? Something like that.

Re: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN OFFICE!AU: Bright Future in Sales - 5 - (NOW WITH MORE FIXIT)

[uniformly]

I'm technically just finishing up lunch, but then, yeah, I should go and pay attention to these creditors. YOU HAVE A GOOD ONE, BB. Have a good night and talk to you soon.

ALL GOOD AND ALL BRO. OO-RAH /BROFIST