In this place
I have one friend I'd like to ask, "What happened? When did you decide I wasn't worth your time? When did I become uninteresting, when did my feelings become unimportant, what did I say or do?" I can't say it though, because he'd say "What are you talking about? You're totally overreacting. Nothing is wrong, we're still friends, I still care. I'm just busy with school." So it would be a waste of time.
Another person I want to say "How many times and in how many ways do I have to apologize? I screwed up. I came on too strong. I assumed too much. I'm ready to just be a friend now, and I just want to spend time with you, have fun, make both our worlds a better place. Or was your initial kindness completely fake, and you never wanted anything to do with me at all?" If I said these things, he wouldn't even answer.
To one I want to say "You have a girlfriend now, so your old friends don't exist? You're old enough to know better than to behave that way. Talk to me." He would get defensive, and it wouldn't help. (Obviously not talkin' about you, Mike. You're still on good list. We haven't spoken much lately, but my fault more than yours, and I don't feel there's any great divide yet.)
One I can't find. I would tell her "Please come home! Come back! I'm so fucking sorry I pushed you away! I just didn't know how to have you around without Brian being forced to leave! You deserved so much better than the coldness I treated you to." Maggie was crazy. So was I. So what.
One is dead. It happens. Wonder if mom will recognize her and say hello? Doubtful.
There's an awesome thunderstorm happening right now. I am grateful for the ambiance.
Another friend I parted with on good terms could turn up any day and I'd sigh with relief and say "Hi Aaron." :) I think he'd be pleased with how my artwork has progressed. Not to mention pleased I'm still alive. I'm sure he'd like Brian too, and Brian would like him 'cause he's fugly and therefore not a threat.
Then there's Bob who has never abandoned me. :) And I loves her. Stupid far away Buffalo.
Another person I want to say "How many times and in how many ways do I have to apologize? I screwed up. I came on too strong. I assumed too much. I'm ready to just be a friend now, and I just want to spend time with you, have fun, make both our worlds a better place. Or was your initial kindness completely fake, and you never wanted anything to do with me at all?" If I said these things, he wouldn't even answer.
To one I want to say "You have a girlfriend now, so your old friends don't exist? You're old enough to know better than to behave that way. Talk to me." He would get defensive, and it wouldn't help. (Obviously not talkin' about you, Mike. You're still on good list. We haven't spoken much lately, but my fault more than yours, and I don't feel there's any great divide yet.)
One I can't find. I would tell her "Please come home! Come back! I'm so fucking sorry I pushed you away! I just didn't know how to have you around without Brian being forced to leave! You deserved so much better than the coldness I treated you to." Maggie was crazy. So was I. So what.
One is dead. It happens. Wonder if mom will recognize her and say hello? Doubtful.
There's an awesome thunderstorm happening right now. I am grateful for the ambiance.
Another friend I parted with on good terms could turn up any day and I'd sigh with relief and say "Hi Aaron." :) I think he'd be pleased with how my artwork has progressed. Not to mention pleased I'm still alive. I'm sure he'd like Brian too, and Brian would like him 'cause he's fugly and therefore not a threat.
Then there's Bob who has never abandoned me. :) And I loves her. Stupid far away Buffalo.