This is why I don't get invited places
Yesterday, I went over to Chris' house for Thanksgiving.
Chris and his wife, Camella, are very passionate about Thanksgiving. They have that passion that only non-Americans can have for the holiday. Chris is Spanish and his wife is Italian. As I entered the house (bringing the dessert--pumpkin pie--I was asked to bring), I felt like I was stepping into a Kindergarten classroom. Bear in mind, that Chris has no kids. He and his wife put up pictures of pilgrims, cut-outs of turkeys, cornocopieas were scattered around the house, and a pumpkin scent perfumed the air (it was a Glade plug-in). The entire house was decorated in autumnal colors.
The adherence to traditional Thanksgiving extended beyond decorations. We were all required to watch the football despite the fact that none of us in attendence (there were 10 of us) had any interest in the sport. But, Americans watch football on Thanksgiving, so we all watched football on Thanksgiving.
I have to interrupt the story here by saying that Chris' wife seriously dislikes me. She feels as passionately about her distaste for me as she does for her love of Thanksgiving tradition. She claims her husband "regresses" when we hang out. She says he tries to mimic the bachelor lifestyle that I lead. The problem is further exacerbated by Chris. He apparently needs "alone time", and when he tries to get away from his wife, he says he's hanging out with me. Now I have no idea what he does during his "alone time"; all I know is I'm supposed to tell his wife that he and I played videogames (it's always videogames). Fortunately, she's never asked, so its never been an issue. Anyway, to summarize, she dislikes me.
Now, in case you haven't noticed, I have a curious mind, and I like sharing the various trivia I learn. Whenever there was a lull in the dinner conversation I shared some tidbits I had picked up recently. Some of these facts included:
--Great thinkers and their sexual fetishes, namely Renee Descartes/cross-eyed women and Nikola Tesla/birds
--Menstruation, Hasidic Jews, and Subway chairs
--Circumcision, Playgirl Magazine, and European Markets
I think the last one was the straw that broke Camella's back. She just gave me the evilest eye I have ever seen and said, "A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself." To which I retored, "The tongue of the wise uses knowledge commendably." Not the best comeback, but I only know like 5 Bible verses, and she already used one. Anyway, Chris' wife didn't say another word to me for the rest of the night.
And a postscript: I was watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade yesterday morning. Every time they made a comment about how much kids were enjoying the parade, the cameras would pan the audience. Not a single kid looked like he/she was having fun.
Chris and his wife, Camella, are very passionate about Thanksgiving. They have that passion that only non-Americans can have for the holiday. Chris is Spanish and his wife is Italian. As I entered the house (bringing the dessert--pumpkin pie--I was asked to bring), I felt like I was stepping into a Kindergarten classroom. Bear in mind, that Chris has no kids. He and his wife put up pictures of pilgrims, cut-outs of turkeys, cornocopieas were scattered around the house, and a pumpkin scent perfumed the air (it was a Glade plug-in). The entire house was decorated in autumnal colors.
The adherence to traditional Thanksgiving extended beyond decorations. We were all required to watch the football despite the fact that none of us in attendence (there were 10 of us) had any interest in the sport. But, Americans watch football on Thanksgiving, so we all watched football on Thanksgiving.
I have to interrupt the story here by saying that Chris' wife seriously dislikes me. She feels as passionately about her distaste for me as she does for her love of Thanksgiving tradition. She claims her husband "regresses" when we hang out. She says he tries to mimic the bachelor lifestyle that I lead. The problem is further exacerbated by Chris. He apparently needs "alone time", and when he tries to get away from his wife, he says he's hanging out with me. Now I have no idea what he does during his "alone time"; all I know is I'm supposed to tell his wife that he and I played videogames (it's always videogames). Fortunately, she's never asked, so its never been an issue. Anyway, to summarize, she dislikes me.
Now, in case you haven't noticed, I have a curious mind, and I like sharing the various trivia I learn. Whenever there was a lull in the dinner conversation I shared some tidbits I had picked up recently. Some of these facts included:
--Great thinkers and their sexual fetishes, namely Renee Descartes/cross-eyed women and Nikola Tesla/birds
--Menstruation, Hasidic Jews, and Subway chairs
--Circumcision, Playgirl Magazine, and European Markets
I think the last one was the straw that broke Camella's back. She just gave me the evilest eye I have ever seen and said, "A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself." To which I retored, "The tongue of the wise uses knowledge commendably." Not the best comeback, but I only know like 5 Bible verses, and she already used one. Anyway, Chris' wife didn't say another word to me for the rest of the night.
And a postscript: I was watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade yesterday morning. Every time they made a comment about how much kids were enjoying the parade, the cameras would pan the audience. Not a single kid looked like he/she was having fun.