This is my Christmas sweater in July.
I CAN'T EVEN HAVE AN ENGLISH MUFFIN!!!
Oh my God. All my dreams.... have just come true.
I was all jazzed.
I'm going to bedazzle your jean jacket.
He's right. There's no excuse for 5 and a half hours late. xD A spark set a woman's sundress on fire. I'm sorry I'm late. I was shot in the head and then had to have laser corrective surgery.
WHERE WERE YOU?! Did you hear about the circus animals that got out of the zoo and took hostages?! I WAS ONE OF THEM. The gazelles were dancing on my chest.
God. I fucking LOVE Dane Cook.
Oh my God. All my dreams.... have just come true.
I was all jazzed.
I'm going to bedazzle your jean jacket.
He's right. There's no excuse for 5 and a half hours late. xD A spark set a woman's sundress on fire. I'm sorry I'm late. I was shot in the head and then had to have laser corrective surgery.
WHERE WERE YOU?! Did you hear about the circus animals that got out of the zoo and took hostages?! I WAS ONE OF THEM. The gazelles were dancing on my chest.
God. I fucking LOVE Dane Cook.