Nirvana Beyond Stupidity 1

[zogster]

The first part of the big finale for my K5 wrap-up story. It's been a while writing, and I hope it's okay.

Useful links:
Precious Things - Aoi and Eve's first meeting.
Origin Story! - Where Theresa comes from.
Hall of the Mountain King - Aoi and Theresa's fateful meeting.
Dressed to Kill - The prelude to Song For Insensitive People.

Happy reading!



Her eyes fluttered open as she drifted slowly into consciousness. Soft satin sheets surrounded her, but beneath them she was bare. A sharp jolt of pain shot through her arm, recalling the events of the previous day. Awakening. Fighting. Running. Lost in a daze. Theresa's apartment, her arms. She felt numb all over, feelings twisting inside her to the point that they were all meaningless, leaving her hollow.

She slowly sat up, sheets held up to her chest. Her long hair draped down her front, framing her expressionless face. A sharp pop and an accompanying sizzle drew her attention. She turned to find Theresa standing over the counter, attacking something in a frying pan with gusto.

"Bacon and eggs," she said to answer the unspoken question. "Get some good, healthy cholesterol into you, that'll cheer you up." She looked up with a wink and a grin, then turned her attention back to the pan. "Aaand we're done."

Aoi sat rock still, uncertain what to say, as Theresa brought over their plates and dropped herself down on the bed beside her. She tucked in at Theresa's prompting, quickly realizing that she hadn't eaten in over a day. They ate together in silence, Theresa seemingly enjoying the moment while Aoi's face remained unreadable.

"Well? How is it?" Theresa eventually asked.

"Terrible," Aoi intoned. "The egg tastes like cardboard, and the bacon's actually burnt."

Theresa stared at her for a second, trying to read something in her profile. Seeing the attention on her, Aoi slowly turned to face the other woman. She nodded slightly, smiling faintly. "But thanks for trying."

Theresa's face split in a wide grin. "Good to see some spirit in you." She reached past Aoi with her fork and speared a rasher on her plate.

"Hey!" Aoi yelled as the bacon escaped. She thrust with her own utensil, trying to pierce it in mid-air.

"Well you're not eating it." Theresa drew her hand up, dangling the strip of bacon above both their heads.

"I didn't say that!" Aoi yelled in outrage.

"But it's burnt," Theresa replied, her voice dripping sweet sarcasm.

"I'm still hungry!"

"Oh... Pffft. Fine." she presented the offending slice to Aoi who snatched it in her mouth, chomping down on half of it at once. Theresa similarly snapped on the other half, bringing their lips together. Aoi blinked in surprise, but quickly bit down and separated them.

"Taste good now?" Theresa asked.

Aoi nodded slowly. She leaned over, resting her head on Theresa's shoulder. "Thank you," she said simply.

Theresa wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and the pair sat still for a while. Eventually, she softly asked Aoi "What happened?"

Aoi gave a long, soft sigh. "Back... Then, back before I met Eve, I was... Well, basically a whole different person. I was violent and impulsive; I'd just lash out and hurt people for fun." Theresa could feel her shiver as she spoke, a stronger note of anger or despair growing in her voice. "I wouldn't give a second thought to hurting or killing someone to indulge my sick desires."

Theresa nodded and pulled her closer. Tears welled in Aoi's eyes as she continued. "Sometimes I feel like I'm her again; like I can do anything, hurt anyone I want and just get away with it."

Theresa gently stroked her hair. In a soft whisper, she asked "Does she have a name?"

"Rachel," Aoi breathed back.

"And Rachel was there yesterday?"

Aoi nodded solemnly. "Keiko came on to me." She paused, an odd memory coming to mind. Something Keiko had said? That morning felt so distant, as if it were in another life, that she couldn't grasp the thought. "I didn't want to go with her, but I... Well, I guess I lost control."

"What did you do?"

"When I came to, she was dead. She'd been hurt... Tortured, and..." She broke down, crying in Theresa's arms.

Theresa gently pushed her back, holding her at arms' length. Aoi looked up at her, puzzled, face streaked with tears. "You need to keep going," Theresa said solemnly. "Just get it all out."

Aoi nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I killed her. I hurt her. I... Raped her."

"Rachel did," Theresa offered.

"I let her. I couldn't control myself."

"And Kami found you?"

Aoi nodded. "She tried to kill me."

Theresa jolted back, the shock evident on your face. "I never thought-" she began, but cut herself off.

"I made her promise, you see. That if I went out of control, she'd stop me."

Theresa watched her closely for long seconds, thoughts flitting through her head with great speed. She seemed to reach a conclusion, as she nodded. "But you got away."

"I hurt her too. I was just trying to escape."

"So you fought back." Aoi peered at Theresa as she continued. "You made a promise together, but you didn't let her carry it out. Even after what happened, you wanted to live on."

"What are you getting at?"

Theresa gripped her shoulders, watching her reaction closely. "Think about it. Whose idea was this promise?"

Aoi thought hard. It couldn't have been more than six months ago, but she had been through so much since then... It was between her and Eve, but which one had proposed it?

"Could she have put this to you? Demanded it from you?"

Aoi nodded slowly. "I guess so..."

"And she didn't hesitate to carry it out, did she?"

Aoi blinked in surprise. Theresa was exactly right, but how could she have known? True, they had fought together; Theresa could have seen how relentless Kami was. But surely not against me...

Theresa gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "She was prepared for this, wasn't she? Always ready, in case you slipped."

"That's... Yeah. She's very methodical. She would have planned ahead."

"To get rid of you." Aoi nodded solemnly in response. "Could you do it? If you cared for someone, could you be prepared to kill them?"

"Never," Aoi replied without thinking. A strange swell of pride grew in her chest. It was true; she could never have contemplated hurting her friends, let alone plan their execution. Not Kami, nor the girls... Or Theresa. It was odd to find such inspiration in this dark hour. A reassurance that, despite what had happened the previous day, she could never be that heartless again.

"And yet she did." Theresa shook her head in sympathy. "Aoi, I'm sorry. But that can only mean..."

"She doesn't love me." She looked down and away, not focusing on anything. Her face was impassive once more.

"Aoi-"

"It's alright," she said, betraying no emotion in her voice. "I guess, in many ways, I had realized that already." She gave a remarkably nonchalant shrug and looked up once more. Theresa was surprised to find a faint smile on her face. "She means so much to me, you see. Our relationship, our understanding, was so important to me. I guess I didn't want to risk all that by looking too hard at it."

The sheets rustled and parted as she stood. Theresa looked up at her, stark naked, her modesty only barely preserved by her long hair draping down her front. She was a study of contrasts; strong muscle tone on such a small and slight frame, brilliant eyes peering out behind dark hair, strong in posture yet seemingly so fragile in voice. "You're beautiful," Theresa said abruptly.

"Thank you," she said quietly. Her frail smile turned away. "I should get cleaned up... And I really need something to wear."

"No worries," Theresa said. She gathered up the plates and bounced to her feet. From here she towered over Aoi, who seemed smaller than ever. "What say I pop out and get you some rags?"

"Sorry to impose."

Theresa waved her hand dismissively. "It's cool. I'm here for ya."

Aoi nodded and took her leave. The bathroom door locked behind her, and almost blocked out her long, pained wail.

-----

Theresa frowned. Somehow, things weren't quite as she expected. Oh, certainly she had no idea what to expect when Aoi came running to her. Screaming. Terror. Trauma. Mad cackle. But somehow, heartbroken wasn't on the list. Sure she was upset about whatshername, thingy, Keiko! And yes, she admitted it was very 'Rachel.' But she should be excited! Thrilled at those old feelings, happy to be out from under Eve's thumb. But nothing.

Still, the sobby-needy sex was good.

Could she be wrong? Theresa pondered whether she could have misconstrued their relationship. Everything fit with her assessment - the fire, changing her appearance, Silver being her first girl - except for Aoi's behaviour. It grated on her.

Which is why she'd set up this meeting. She needed answers, and only one person could provide them. It helped that Aoi was still at her apartment - she didn't need to know that Theresa was meeting her ex.

Between them, they'd chosen the rooftop of Aoi's apartment block. The building was a bit dated, so it was fairly cluttered with all manner of structures and pipes. But one corner was remarkably clear, affording a view of the similar rooftops spread out around them.

Theresa turned from the view as she heard the opposite door open. Eve quietly stepped out, bundled up in a long coat and beret. All dark tones, with a mottled bodysuit underneath. Kami, no doubt. Theresa had closed her coat against the unseasonal chill, and enjoyed how the wind up here tossed her hair and let the coat's ends flap about her legs. With a long cigarillo in hand, she must have made quite the impression.

"What do you want?" Kami asked. Theresa couldn't help but feel a bit put out that her dramatic pose had been wasted.

"Just what happened yesterday?" She put simply.

"Aoi had a nervous breakdown," Kami replied, her voice remarkably clear and even. "She raped and strangled Keiko."

Theresa gave a low whistle. "What the heck brought that on?"

"I don't know," Kami replied. She tucked her hands into the coat’s pockets and started pacing around the edge of the roof. "They never really talked much, but Keiko confided in me that she quite liked Aoi. I can only think that Keiko provoked her somehow."

"Provoked? No, not our miss morals. She couldn't have."

Kami looked back up at Theresa, locking a piercing stare on her. "She's capable of a lot more than you think."

"This is about Rachel, right?" A wicked smile crossed Theresa's face as Kami started back. Finally, a reaction! "I heard the name around," she continued, closely watching for Kami's response. "They say Aoi used to work for a real spitfire by that name."

Kami stood silent for several seconds. Devising a lie, no doubt. Eventually she resumed her pacing, gazing out over the cityscape. "When she was under Rachel's thrall, Aoi was practically a monster. This sort of thing wasn't exceptional for her."

"And now she's Rachel's... Creature once more."

"I thought Rachel was dead."

I died. That was how Aoi had described the fire where she had been burnt. It matched up all too well - Kami's lie was the same Aoi had fed the Yakuza, and both claimed Rachel was a separate entity. Long dead, best forgotten.

It was too neat. This smacked of something they'd planned together, not something forced on Aoi. Was she giving Kami too much credit? Had Aoi really wanted to change? It made no sense.

"She's with you, isn't she?" Kami asked out of the blue. Theresa only shrugged in response. "You should realize by now just how dangerous she is. You'll be safer if you turn her over to me."

"So you can finish her off?" Kami opened her mouth to reply, but Theresa cut her off. "Yeah, I know you tried to axe her yesterday. Are you off your nut?"

"She made me promise to."

No. "Never." Not possible. "I don't believe you."

Kami nodded impassively. "This has happened before. She tried to trick me, then turned on me." She paced closer to Theresa, Amber eyes locked on the other's disbelieving face. "When she regained her senses, she was devastated by what she had done. That's when she made me promise to stop her if it ever happened again."

Kami came to a halt, bare inches from Theresa. The two stood still, framed against the gathering clouds over the city, a bare few pinpricks of light seeping through beyond them.

Theresa's scowl split apart. "And you were all too happy to carry out the sentence, right?" She could hear the bitterness in her voice, but didn't care.

"I didn't want to!" Kami burst out. "I..." For once, she faltered. A deep breath let her regain her composure and she continued, her voice steady once more. "I care for her. Honestly and deeply. We don't always get along and we disagree a lot, but we understand each other like nobody else can." She shook her head, and although her eyes seemed to quiver, they stayed dry. "I don't want to hurt her, but I know more than anything that she doesn't want to go back, wouldn't want to be... Like that any more."

Wouldn't want to be... Rachel. It made no sense to Theresa. Nobody would give up that glorious life of reckless abandon! It had to be Kami's fault. She had to be the one changing Aoi for her own ends. It made perfect sense...

And yet, Kami's words meshed perfectly with Aoi's behaviour. There was real love there, not just some trick. Her hand clenched and unclenched, the pressure in her palm matching her frustration. It had to be true, yet it made no sense. The old question came back to her: Why did Aoi save me? Why, if not for me to save her? What was there but self-interest?

She slowly shook her head. "No. I don't believe you. It makes no sense!" she all but roared.

Kami eased back, hands rising in guard ever so slightly. Her eyes narrowed as she focused on Theresa, gauging her movements. "Ask her. Go back to her and ask her. Ask what she wants now. And who she wants to be."

Theresa glared long and hard at Kami. Oh, how she wanted to finish things now! She had been ready this very morning; her special toy for Eve lay in her coat pocket this very instant. She could do it right here...

Don't, you fool.

"Why not?" Kami peered at her oddly for the out of place reply.

You're not ready. You haven't figured how to beat her yet.

Which was true. Every assessment she made showed Kami to be an even match for her. Any fight would likely be a fair one. She hated fair fights.

"Sure." She returned Kami's curious glance with a cunning smile. "I'll go see her." Theresa strolled casually past her, heading for the door. "And when she chooses me, we'll both be back for you."

Kami turned on her heel. "Choose you? This isn't about that..."

Theresa popped the door open. With a startled gasp, April stepped back, clearing the passage. Theresa winked at her, then turned back to Kami. "Sure it's not," she said, and was gone.
-----
Theresa raged. Honestly, she didn't care who these people were. The alley was shadowed and they stood together, so that was enough to beat them up. A faster-than-light fist splintered one man's jaw even as she ducked under the pipe another swung at her.

It was so frustrating talking to that woman! Her heel flicked back and caught one in the shin. Her tone, her posture, everything displaying absolute righteousness. How could I possibly be wrong? it said, she swept one off his feet with a vicious low kick. I know everything, I am so much better, was the impression it gave. An incoming fist got tucked under her arm; she hauled back and drew his face into her forehead.

Worse still, she may just have been right. Admitting it would cheese her off, he staggered back, blood streaming from his nose. Not just because it messed up her plans, elbow meets solar plexus, but it would mean losing to her. And a major one at that. She spun, a massive right hook felling him with a crack.

She had to beat Kami now. Really, she hadn't thought of the blonde as a rival, spring back from a body blow and drop him with a spin kick, but just an obstacle until now. Finishing her off was to be a nice cap to the affair, but now it became vital. Strong arms wrapped around her from behind, as another drove in from the front. She hauled forwards, not that she could figure how to beat her, all but flipping over, dropping the one behind, she was shot in the back, she's just too tough, right on top of his compatriot. The two piled into a heap, and a freakish upgrade to boot, and she viciously kicked both of them as they lay.

Theresa had paid for the best cyberware. Her strength and speed were greatly enhanced, but she estimated Kami was almost on par with her. The other's bone reinforcement and vital sheathing made her very resilient, whereas Theresa had skipped such options. One gurgled beneath her, blood foaming between his lips as she kicked him again and again. Not to mention her precise way of fighting. There had to be a flaw somewhere she could exploit...

Focus, you idiot!

"What?" she blurted out, an instant before being struck. A hard blow across her back, feeling like an iron bar, sent her stumbling forwards. She felt as much as heard the next and turned from it, reducing it to a hard clip on her shoulder. By the time she was facing her opponent, he had lunged once more. She hopped back, a flash of chrome silver passing just by her nose.

He hadn't been with the others when she found them, as she certainly would have remembered him. Tanned, broad-shouldered and showing as much skin as metal. His only attire was a pair of loose pants that ended well above his bare metal feet. Metal braces crossed his muscular chest, showing where both chromed cyberarms had been anchored. Above his fierce scowl was a strip of a visor, implanted into his flesh where eyes should have been. His scalp was shaved, with strips of chrome steel crossing it.

"I don't care who you are," he began, "But nobody-"

She punched him square in the face. "Don't interrupt me!" Theresa yelled as she pressed her assault. She lashed out with a flurry of punches, but he quickly came up to speed. He weaved and ducked back, blocking the last one with a metal forearm.

Theresa gasped in pain as her hand rang off his metal arm. Her reaction provoked a wicked grin from him which only frustrated her more. She swept a kick at his midsection, only to be blocked by a raised leg. Even as she started back, her shin smarting from the impact, he turned the block into a thrust kick, driving into her abdomen. She staggered back, clutching her midsection, prompting his grin to widen.

"Can't best the iron angel," he said, arms raised and ready. Glancing around, Theresa saw she was being backed into a corner. With a scowl, she lunged at him, feinting high and striking low, catching him in the rubs. A follow-up was blocked, painfully, and he batted her arm aside. Caught off-balance, she took a sharp elbow blow to her side. She ducked a spinning hook, but caught him coming around with a back elbow. She instinctively raised her arms and caught the blow, but felt the sharp pain from the strike nonetheless.

You can't fight him conventionally.

"Yeah, thanks, I got that." She reached behind and drew out Mine in a blur, completing the arc with a slash across him. A thin trail of blood welled up on his chest, matched by Theresa's thin-lipped smile. She reversed her grip and thrust back, but he caught the blow on his forearm. The knife skidded down his metal skin, sending up sparks and scoring the metal finish. He lunged, seizing her wrist in a painfully tight grasp, but she was ready. She pulled in, driving her knee into his abdomen once, twice, until his grasp slackened and he staggered back.

"The flesh is weak," she said with a grin. Flesh... Her grin split open, mouth agape at the revelation. Of course! Even the plastic princess was still mostly organic, and that gave her weak points. Her muscles were genetically enhanced but they were still flesh and blood. It was...

She surged. The knife flicked up and down, erratically striking at his face and torso. He was on the defensive now, matching blow for block, his forearms traced with marks from her blade. He slipped a strike in which Theresa took on the shoulder, lunging past his guard and driving Mine into his side. He fell back with a yell, hand on the puncture, the other raised defensively.

Just a matter of getting the strike in.

She jabbed at his side, but Mine was gone. The blade flicked through the air between them, finding its way into her off hand even as it lunged down. Caught out, he couldn't stop the knife from plunging into his neck. Theresa pressed down, driving it deeper, and with a horrific gurgle he fell.

"Just like that?"

Clever. She fights very methodically. Confuse her, and the fight's yours.

"Of course." Theresa retrieved Mine and flicked the blood off it. She looked around at the carnage spread out before her and shrugged, an easy smile playing across her lips. "I can't even remember what I was so upset about."
-----
For Aoi, the most frustrating part of her morning was the waiting. She did her best to keep active, between her jobs, personal training and so forth. So restrained to a comfortable apartment, stripped of any schedule or company had left her with nothing to do, and little experience with idle time to fall back on.

That and she had no clothes. She had fled wearing only her leather jacket and pants, and the latter were being cleaned. By the time she had showered, Theresa had left, so she borrowed one of the other woman's dress shirts. It hung loosely off her frame, more like a nightgown than anything else, but it was at least long enough to fall past her hips.

It seemed impossible that this could have happened. She thought she was rid of those old feelings, removed enough from her old life that they would never come back. When she had last 'been' Rachel, she had almost died - no, she felt as if that part of her had died, had been purged, letting her finally and fully become Aoi.

And then Theresa had appeared. It seemed almost impossible that she had created Rachel as an avatar without knowing about their connection, yet surely there was no way she could have known. But that sense of separation, of identifying more with her avatar than her body, had brought her old feelings back. It had been a long moment of confusion when she had returned to her body, but she had become Aoi once more.

Then she had killed Keiko. She couldn't deny it, no matter how hard she tried. She had made a move on the girl before, but stopped herself in time. And yet she was, or at least had been more in control just yesterday, when Keiko approached her. So why had she lost it?

The thought gnawed at her. Her memory was blurry before she had woken. She couldn't remember anything after Keiko's first advances. But the girl must have done or said something at the time to arouse those feelings once more. Something she'd said... Something Keiko had said stuck in her mind, but she couldn't figure it out. She gritted her teeth in frustration.

"I just want to remember."

"So you'll know how good it was?"

Aoi spun in place. There at the bar was Rachel. Her hair was damp and loose, draped over a wet white shirt, much like the one she was wearing. And much like Aoi's, it was obviously her only article of clothing. Their pistol dangled precariously from her hand, and as Aoi watched she flicked the safety on and off.

"You saw the evidence. Bruised, battered and swollen. Oh what fun it must have been." She flashed a cocky lopsided grin at Aoi.

"I don't... I don't do that sort of thing."

"But I do. Isn't that the point?" Aoi turned her head away, cheeks burning in shame. "It seems you're not in charge after all, hmm?"

It seems... Aoi's brow furrowed. That doesn't sound right. She looked back up at Rachel, fidgeting with their pistol. The blonde was studying her, just as intently as Aoi was watching her.

She had seen Rachel before, whenever she was at her lowest. Each time, her former self would taunt her, pointing out her failings and foibles. And yet...

"Checking me out?" Rachel's smile as she touched her own breast was downright perverse. "Don't you miss it?"

Each time Rachel had appeared, she would come to a realisation. When Eve had cheated on her, Rachel showed her it had been inevitable. Would she have escaped yesterday, without Rachel spurring her on?

The blonde tilted her head, the cocky grin fading from her lips. "What, not interested?"

And now... If she couldn't remember what had happened to Keiko...

"What did she do?" Aoi asked abruptly.

Rachel blinked back. "Who now?"

"Keiko." Aoi advanced on her double, who seemed to shrink back ever so slightly. "What did she say, what did she do to set me - no, us - off?"

"Don't you know?" The grin returned, although it seemed oddly forced.

"No. And I should." She seized her dopple's shoulders, and their green eyes met. "I remember everything you've done, but this time I blacked out."

"That can only mean...". Rachel's words echoed her own thoughts.

"It wasn't me." A wave of emotion crashed over her, and she felt as if she would drown. Relief, to be absolved of this crime, at least to herself. Remorse, for Keiko whose death had become a weapon against her. Bitterness, that she didn't realize sooner what had happened. And anger that someone would - could - have made taken a vile act.

"You didn't black out. You passed out." Rachel's voice seemed fainter, somehow.

"Someone else killed Keiko, and set me up."

"Someone who wanted to destroy you and Eve."

"Someone who wanted me alive and vulnerable."

"Keiko said..."

"Someone was there, ready for me."

"She knew you had slept around."

"Who else was there?"

"Who told her?"

The door popped open. "Boy oh boy," Theresa exclaimed, beaming at Aoi, "You would not believe the morning I've had."