Apr 09, 2007 19:53
Stupid stupid anxiety. I think I need some medication for my fibro. My eyes hurt weirdly. Just the pupils hurt. And it feels like some one is trying to pull them out. Just the pupils though and not my entire eye. Also, this anxiety that makes me feel like I'm going to collapse inward. Which actually, may be due to the drama I'm too involved in. But I can't tell. That's the worst thing about fibro is not knowing which is actual pain and which is nerve endings with the wrong messages. But at the moment the anxiety is horrible. And in all reality the Jason/Mel thing is kind of not that big of a deal. I mean, my dishonesty is a big deal. But in the grand scheme of things, I don't really count. Like I said before, I've had my deal with him for a long time and as wrong as it is for me to be dishonest with her, it would also have been wrong for me to tell. I can't interfere. DIRGE. I want beer. Beer now there's a temporary solution. Then I can make up all kinds of more ways to lie to myself.
Then maybe I'll call teh cutie met last at Ivy's.
I do like chefs