story request from isuxatlife18
Pairing:Jeff Hardy/Amy Dumas
Warning: suicide
Even back then we both knew. As we would walk to the ramp for our match, we couldn’t help but steal glances at each other. And after the match it was even more obvious. Sharing a locker room was hard when my brother was dating the woman I loved.
Some deny and search for things that never come around
Do I feel like a fool?
The places I have ran to all my life have disappeared
And I owe this all to you
Every time I wanted to get close to her, Matt would go out with her and I would be either in the hotel alone or with the guys at some bar getting shit-faced. Wherever I am all I think about is Amy, and how we could make such a good couple. I wish I could do something, but I can’t, I could never hurt Matt like that.
I'm feeling like I'm sinking
And nothing's there to catch me, keep me breathing
In our matches, my wrestling got worse. I couldnt focus my moves properly. It’s not my fault her bright red hair kept distracting me, and her innocent voice desperate, yelling at me to tag Matt. After the Match she cornered me and asked why i messed up. “you know why Amy” is what i said, knowing full well she knew what i meant by that.
She sat by me and took my hand facing me. “i know Jeff, i really do but please try and focus for the team, otherwise Matt will catch on” with that she put her hand to my face before quickly pulling away and standing up. I go to say something but she shakes her head sadly and goes out to the hall where Matt is waiting.
What do I have to do?
Why can't this hurt be through?
I'm going head unto
Something I know I will fail
Why can't this kiss be true
Why won't you please let me through?
I don't understand why you always push me away
I decide what to do then that night. I get a pen and paper and start to write the hardest letter of my life. I write down finally how i feel about Amy and how i never wanted to hurt Matt. The last few words are the hardest as i blink, tears welling in my green eyes. The last thing i write is “i will love you forever and please forgive me...Jeff”
The last thing I would like to do before I go away
is cry there next to you (next to you)
Cry and talk about the good old days and where they've gone
And now how much I hate you
I slowly walk into the bathroom and go to the mirror. I stare into it and look at myself for the last time. My hairs a mix of Red and green, tied up in a bun. Im wearing pajama bottoms and our team extreme purple cartoon shirt. Sighing i pull my hair from the bun and let my hair gently fall to the sides of my face. I pull open the draw from the bathroom counter, grabbing my razor,gently pulling out the blade.
What do I have to do?
Why can't this hurt be through?
I'm going head unto
Something I know I will fail
Why can't this kiss be true
Why won't you please let me through?
I don't understand why you always push me away
As i sit down on the cold bathroom floor i pause for a moment, and think of the good times but also why i’m doing this. My head starts to go fuzy and i know im ready. Putting the blade to my wrist i close my eyes and quickly slash the blade across. Crying out in pain i start shaking and look down to my arm.
I feel the blood drip off my body as it falls right there
on the ground
What am I now?
What am I now?
What am I now?
What do I have to do?
Why can't this hurt be through?
I'm going head unto
Something I know I will fail
Why can't this kiss be true
Why won't you please let me through?
I don't understand why you always push me away
Soon the pain subsides and my pulse is fading. I reach out with my right arm and gently slide the letter in front of me before i slowly drift off into a never ending sleep....It was the only way to get away from it. You pushed me over the edge.
Why you always push me away
Why you always push me away
Why you always push me away
Why you always push me away
Why you always push me away
Why you always push me away
Why you always push me away
Why you always push me away
Warning: suicide
Even back then we both knew. As we would walk to the ramp for our match, we couldn’t help but steal glances at each other. And after the match it was even more obvious. Sharing a locker room was hard when my brother was dating the woman I loved.
Some deny and search for things that never come around
Do I feel like a fool?
The places I have ran to all my life have disappeared
And I owe this all to you
Every time I wanted to get close to her, Matt would go out with her and I would be either in the hotel alone or with the guys at some bar getting shit-faced. Wherever I am all I think about is Amy, and how we could make such a good couple. I wish I could do something, but I can’t, I could never hurt Matt like that.
I'm feeling like I'm sinking
And nothing's there to catch me, keep me breathing
In our matches, my wrestling got worse. I couldnt focus my moves properly. It’s not my fault her bright red hair kept distracting me, and her innocent voice desperate, yelling at me to tag Matt. After the Match she cornered me and asked why i messed up. “you know why Amy” is what i said, knowing full well she knew what i meant by that.
She sat by me and took my hand facing me. “i know Jeff, i really do but please try and focus for the team, otherwise Matt will catch on” with that she put her hand to my face before quickly pulling away and standing up. I go to say something but she shakes her head sadly and goes out to the hall where Matt is waiting.
What do I have to do?
Why can't this hurt be through?
I'm going head unto
Something I know I will fail
Why can't this kiss be true
Why won't you please let me through?
I don't understand why you always push me away
I decide what to do then that night. I get a pen and paper and start to write the hardest letter of my life. I write down finally how i feel about Amy and how i never wanted to hurt Matt. The last few words are the hardest as i blink, tears welling in my green eyes. The last thing i write is “i will love you forever and please forgive me...Jeff”
The last thing I would like to do before I go away
is cry there next to you (next to you)
Cry and talk about the good old days and where they've gone
And now how much I hate you
I slowly walk into the bathroom and go to the mirror. I stare into it and look at myself for the last time. My hairs a mix of Red and green, tied up in a bun. Im wearing pajama bottoms and our team extreme purple cartoon shirt. Sighing i pull my hair from the bun and let my hair gently fall to the sides of my face. I pull open the draw from the bathroom counter, grabbing my razor,gently pulling out the blade.
What do I have to do?
Why can't this hurt be through?
I'm going head unto
Something I know I will fail
Why can't this kiss be true
Why won't you please let me through?
I don't understand why you always push me away
As i sit down on the cold bathroom floor i pause for a moment, and think of the good times but also why i’m doing this. My head starts to go fuzy and i know im ready. Putting the blade to my wrist i close my eyes and quickly slash the blade across. Crying out in pain i start shaking and look down to my arm.
I feel the blood drip off my body as it falls right there
on the ground
What am I now?
What am I now?
What am I now?
What do I have to do?
Why can't this hurt be through?
I'm going head unto
Something I know I will fail
Why can't this kiss be true
Why won't you please let me through?
I don't understand why you always push me away
Soon the pain subsides and my pulse is fading. I reach out with my right arm and gently slide the letter in front of me before i slowly drift off into a never ending sleep....It was the only way to get away from it. You pushed me over the edge.
Why you always push me away
Why you always push me away
Why you always push me away
Why you always push me away
Why you always push me away
Why you always push me away
Why you always push me away
Why you always push me away