Gotta make some goals and shat!
Im EXTREMELY grateful for the second chances that the most important people in my life have given me!
Yesterday I realized that the well being of my family, close friends, their kids, and myself are all that matter to me in life....... I have an opportunity to start school in January. SOOOOO STOKED!!!! It has been 4 years since I dropped out of P.L.U and 3 years since I've been stagnant with my life. Its about fucken time I pull myself together and do something again....
I have no idea whats going to happen next in my life, but Im finally in a place mentally where I'm motivated and determined! First step is to actually go to school.. I mean, show up for a fucken class and do the work! This is one of the mistakes I made at P.L.U... Also, I need to stay focused on my day to day life and the responsibilities I have each particular day. I have no idea how socializing and going out drinking became of far more importance than anything else. This crazy screw-up eventually led to sinful fuck up number 269! Lacking accountability for my mistakes. I co-signed my bullshit with some new age philosophy that "everything happens for a reason" Although this theory has proved to be true in my life, I'm now seeing that when I just sit back and watch life happening, I'm missing out on being a part of it. So yeah, "everything does happen for a reason" but I can't just sit back anymore and watch it happen, I need to MAKE shit happen!
There are probably a million other things I need to do or behaviors I need to change.... And im sure they will come to me as the days go by.... Oh yeah, like making goals toward getting my license back!! Its been 5 fucken years yo!!!
I'm fucken trippin out on the ever-evolving process of life..... An event which once seemed like a tragedy has now become the growing point for many powerful lessons and the foundation for great manifestations!! I can't fuck up the chances that my family, Sierra, Karin Jenn and Mary have given me!! They've stood by loving and believing in me for years and time and time again I've let them down..I've pissed on their friendship, their love, and their support but they've never stopped being there through ever fucked up thing I've done or gone through... I need to do this for myself! The person I've hurt the greatest is the only person that will be with me from day one til I die.. Myself! I need to do this for the beautiful children who are in my life; my nieces, nephews, younger brother and sister, the God-children and honorary nieces and nephews.... These lil eyes watch me on a daily basis. They look up to me. They see the goodness in me. I can'y make a mistake which will potentially fuck up their psychological development...
Keep on keeping on!!
Yesterday I realized that the well being of my family, close friends, their kids, and myself are all that matter to me in life....... I have an opportunity to start school in January. SOOOOO STOKED!!!! It has been 4 years since I dropped out of P.L.U and 3 years since I've been stagnant with my life. Its about fucken time I pull myself together and do something again....
I have no idea whats going to happen next in my life, but Im finally in a place mentally where I'm motivated and determined! First step is to actually go to school.. I mean, show up for a fucken class and do the work! This is one of the mistakes I made at P.L.U... Also, I need to stay focused on my day to day life and the responsibilities I have each particular day. I have no idea how socializing and going out drinking became of far more importance than anything else. This crazy screw-up eventually led to sinful fuck up number 269! Lacking accountability for my mistakes. I co-signed my bullshit with some new age philosophy that "everything happens for a reason" Although this theory has proved to be true in my life, I'm now seeing that when I just sit back and watch life happening, I'm missing out on being a part of it. So yeah, "everything does happen for a reason" but I can't just sit back anymore and watch it happen, I need to MAKE shit happen!
There are probably a million other things I need to do or behaviors I need to change.... And im sure they will come to me as the days go by.... Oh yeah, like making goals toward getting my license back!! Its been 5 fucken years yo!!!
I'm fucken trippin out on the ever-evolving process of life..... An event which once seemed like a tragedy has now become the growing point for many powerful lessons and the foundation for great manifestations!! I can't fuck up the chances that my family, Sierra, Karin Jenn and Mary have given me!! They've stood by loving and believing in me for years and time and time again I've let them down..I've pissed on their friendship, their love, and their support but they've never stopped being there through ever fucked up thing I've done or gone through... I need to do this for myself! The person I've hurt the greatest is the only person that will be with me from day one til I die.. Myself! I need to do this for the beautiful children who are in my life; my nieces, nephews, younger brother and sister, the God-children and honorary nieces and nephews.... These lil eyes watch me on a daily basis. They look up to me. They see the goodness in me. I can'y make a mistake which will potentially fuck up their psychological development...
Keep on keeping on!!