Breakdown
Today was emotional as hell. Everything makes me cry. Im destroying myself and now its time to pull myself up and shake it off. Javier Came over and said, "What the hell is wrong with you, Seriously Kim, are you on drugs Im so worried about you" I told him that I've been drunk for 4 days around the clock, I went on a binge and damaged the life I had just started creating for myself. He sat and talked with me for a while, but I didn't talk. I just kept crying. I feel like giving up, I feel so defeated. I really wanted to make things work out and do everything MY way, but now I finally see everything she told me for 3 years. Im a fucken train wreck and i know its going to be a process to sort through everything, but some days I just want to say fuck it to everything and everyone. Today is just one of those days.
I need to detach from certain "friends". Today while I walked home it dawned om me that Angie is really gone. I think I've been so preoccupied lately, that I wasn't allowing myself to miss her or think about her. In the beginning, all the changes I made were really healthy and productive. Somewhere along the way, I got so burnt out taking care of responsibilities, that I felt I needed a social life. I wasn't even wanting one, I just thought I needed one. I've always been such an extremist. Im either super responsible and have no free time to go wild, or I say fuck it to everything and act a fool and drink myself silly. I don't know how to find a balance. So, Im just gonna say fuck it all and not drink or hang out with people I've been hanging out with, even Neisha. And I know I've said this shit alot in the past, but I have to mean it this time cause Im all out of 2nd chances and I know if I keep on like this, one day Im gonna regret not doing something with my life.
I need to detach from certain "friends". Today while I walked home it dawned om me that Angie is really gone. I think I've been so preoccupied lately, that I wasn't allowing myself to miss her or think about her. In the beginning, all the changes I made were really healthy and productive. Somewhere along the way, I got so burnt out taking care of responsibilities, that I felt I needed a social life. I wasn't even wanting one, I just thought I needed one. I've always been such an extremist. Im either super responsible and have no free time to go wild, or I say fuck it to everything and act a fool and drink myself silly. I don't know how to find a balance. So, Im just gonna say fuck it all and not drink or hang out with people I've been hanging out with, even Neisha. And I know I've said this shit alot in the past, but I have to mean it this time cause Im all out of 2nd chances and I know if I keep on like this, one day Im gonna regret not doing something with my life.