(no subject)

[zoelouise]

it sucks to be alone...and i'm not talking without a boyfriend, cause who the fuck cares, i'm talking without a friend. it sucks. I thought i had a lot of friends and you know i do but i wish i had that friend that my mom expected for dinner...my friend, not steve's friend, or becky's friend, but the friend that called my phone to see what i was up to. It really hurts when your not your best friends first pick to hang out with, or you've grown so far apart you have nothing to talk about anymore, or when some one asks you to hang out they assume your best friend is with you. It sucks a lot. It's like being a constant third wheel. I'm the second or third thought, if i even get a thought at all. Steve keeps telling me to make my own friends where are your friends he says? and i'm like i dunno with there friends and they don't want to hang out with me. they don't like me all that much. and i know you're all thinking omg jessie i'm your friend, but where the hell was the phone call this weekend. why didn't you call me when you went to that party the other night. and you don't always have to hang out with. a check in once in a while would be nice. you know to know how i'm doing, aren't that what friends are for. someone to lean on when your sad, or someone to celebrate with when your happy? it sucks to not really have any one like that.

And why the fuck are you embarrassed by me. why can't you just let me meet your friends what is so wrong with me that i can't every meet any one. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!

well that how i feel and it's probably just over reacting i have a tendency to do that but what the fuck thats my given right and i'll practice it once in a while. just lets not pretend any more.