Be Yourself...
I shouldn't have had to feel like I had to stay away and not be myself around anyone... but last night all of a sudden I did. -SO tonight I opt-ed to just not go out... Which I have a feeling would have been fun... But well, not if I'm not being myself. -It made me want to cry the other night when we were at Bennigans.
There's a guy that I like. I wonder if he really likes me... again... He's a sweet guy. it's Someone I've been friends with forever.
And whoever thinks I'm a ho has another thing coming. -I'm sane as sane can be. I'm confident enough in who I am, that I can now tone myself down, when I want to. The guy I like is sweet, considerate, caring...comes from the same background that I do... and I helped him move into his apartment today, in the rain. We're really close.
-I'm so excited because my brother will be moving here in July-ish, which means not only do I get my bestest guy-friend... but I also get my brother. -And that means a lot.
It was so weird to come back after not having contact with any of them for four months... But now it's like I never left, and in the process of re-accquainting myself with life outside the IHOP bubble I realised that I truly and most sincerely missed my brothers. -And G-d provided me with one, at least one, if not a couple. So I've been focussing a lot on that lately. -It's so much nicer, because I wanted brother-types for so long upon my return that my ex-Nate was starting to look good... And well, I can't have any sort of relationship with him because he still wants to date me.
I'm not ready for dating anyone quite yet. But I really just want brothers. And seeing as I'm not going back to IHOP-KC any time soon, I figured I'd better get ones that I feel safe around, and comfortable being myself, and having Christ as a focal point in our friendship.
-I really like being in groups of three when hanging out with someone of the opposite sex. Just purely for accountability reasons. -That way nothing can be misconstrued or twisted. -I only go alone with people that I can trust myself with, and trust them. It's my new rule that I really enjoy.
This is where I'm at. -If only I could be allowed to be myself again...
There's a guy that I like. I wonder if he really likes me... again... He's a sweet guy. it's Someone I've been friends with forever.
And whoever thinks I'm a ho has another thing coming. -I'm sane as sane can be. I'm confident enough in who I am, that I can now tone myself down, when I want to. The guy I like is sweet, considerate, caring...comes from the same background that I do... and I helped him move into his apartment today, in the rain. We're really close.
-I'm so excited because my brother will be moving here in July-ish, which means not only do I get my bestest guy-friend... but I also get my brother. -And that means a lot.
It was so weird to come back after not having contact with any of them for four months... But now it's like I never left, and in the process of re-accquainting myself with life outside the IHOP bubble I realised that I truly and most sincerely missed my brothers. -And G-d provided me with one, at least one, if not a couple. So I've been focussing a lot on that lately. -It's so much nicer, because I wanted brother-types for so long upon my return that my ex-Nate was starting to look good... And well, I can't have any sort of relationship with him because he still wants to date me.
I'm not ready for dating anyone quite yet. But I really just want brothers. And seeing as I'm not going back to IHOP-KC any time soon, I figured I'd better get ones that I feel safe around, and comfortable being myself, and having Christ as a focal point in our friendship.
-I really like being in groups of three when hanging out with someone of the opposite sex. Just purely for accountability reasons. -That way nothing can be misconstrued or twisted. -I only go alone with people that I can trust myself with, and trust them. It's my new rule that I really enjoy.
This is where I'm at. -If only I could be allowed to be myself again...