Balance Shmalance
We're all going to hell in a hand basket one moment then you hit a turn on this crazy roller coaster called life and you've got a sharp dose of hell just before you spread your wings and soar.
Three is a magical number. This year it is death, not trouble that comes in threes *that would be too easy wouldn't it...*. DR in July, Great Grandmother in August, and last Thursday, my dearest Grandfather passed through the veil. May he be delightfully surprised with what he finds on the other side and find his way back in time for Samhain. It hurts, loosing the rock that has been the stregnth behind the glue in our family. Loose you there? It worked like this: Grandmother is the matriarc, the glue that binds our family together and gathers us from the far corners of the Pacific Northwest (and occasionally beyond) for holidays/birthdays/events/etc. Grandfather was the rock behind her stregnth. When she went overboard or got stressed, he held her together. When her stregnth threatened to fail, he stepped in the gaps for her. He supported her before the family, questioned her when he felt it wouldn't interfere with her authority and stood slightly behind and to the right of her. It was 46 years of love and devotion, and it was georgeous. Not peaceful or placid by any means, but beautiful in its content-with-knowing-and-living-your-role kind of way.
That was also the night I lost the mucus plug and was sent home from the hospital for lack of dialation. That happened again Sat night. Sun evening went back in extreme pain. It was midnight that they nearly decided to send me home again, but something stayed them and when the morphine couldn't cut the contractions any more i called the nurse in to check, and what would you know, dialated all the way to a five cm!! HUZZAH! Nurse called doc to get an Epidural ordered no luck. Got ahold of the doc and the order on the second try and the man came in. Now, despite horrendous contractions, I had to curl into a tiny ball. The instant I did this the floods came, by that i mean my water broke and Eli was on his way. The doc took his sweet time numbing the entry site for the epi and then inserted the tube, but when the actual needle was coming through, he kept hitting the disc in my spine. Why couldn't I lie any more still? ELI WAS CROWNING during the procedure. It was the most intense pain of my life. I was told the doc would give me a tiny dose through the epidural, just enough to give me rest between contractions and lessen some of the pain. Before he got around the nurses and the bed and my mother however (three contractions later) the doc showed up, I pushed a fourth time and Eli's head came out. One more push and Eli was there, all 21in, 8 lbs 7.5oz of him. The doc had been in the room five mins. He was noisy and loud but quieted to squeeks and grumbling grunts by the time he had been cleaned up and given to my mother. No tearing, thank goodness, but the birth had been completely natural, no morphine or anything in my system for the second and final stages of labor and delivery.
Today I lolligagged around the house, took Abi to her dad at the ferry (she's spending a week and a half with him with one night in the middle back here for grandad's memorial), and napped. My entire body feels as though its been put through an old fashioned clothes ringer and is re learning how to function. Tylenol is my friend.
Tomorrow and friday I attempt to do some light sorting and packing of my old room upstairs, get mom and dad to move the necessities down to my current room and do the light laundry that has piled up. Much sleep and coddling my son will be done in the down times as well as getting my pay check and showing off the little boy to the work place before Abi comes home friday night.
Thats all for now, more to come as Elias Tadhg McKenna and I get to know eachother and Abigail Fae McKenna gets used to being a big sister.
Three is a magical number. This year it is death, not trouble that comes in threes *that would be too easy wouldn't it...*. DR in July, Great Grandmother in August, and last Thursday, my dearest Grandfather passed through the veil. May he be delightfully surprised with what he finds on the other side and find his way back in time for Samhain. It hurts, loosing the rock that has been the stregnth behind the glue in our family. Loose you there? It worked like this: Grandmother is the matriarc, the glue that binds our family together and gathers us from the far corners of the Pacific Northwest (and occasionally beyond) for holidays/birthdays/events/etc. Grandfather was the rock behind her stregnth. When she went overboard or got stressed, he held her together. When her stregnth threatened to fail, he stepped in the gaps for her. He supported her before the family, questioned her when he felt it wouldn't interfere with her authority and stood slightly behind and to the right of her. It was 46 years of love and devotion, and it was georgeous. Not peaceful or placid by any means, but beautiful in its content-with-knowing-and-living-your-role kind of way.
That was also the night I lost the mucus plug and was sent home from the hospital for lack of dialation. That happened again Sat night. Sun evening went back in extreme pain. It was midnight that they nearly decided to send me home again, but something stayed them and when the morphine couldn't cut the contractions any more i called the nurse in to check, and what would you know, dialated all the way to a five cm!! HUZZAH! Nurse called doc to get an Epidural ordered no luck. Got ahold of the doc and the order on the second try and the man came in. Now, despite horrendous contractions, I had to curl into a tiny ball. The instant I did this the floods came, by that i mean my water broke and Eli was on his way. The doc took his sweet time numbing the entry site for the epi and then inserted the tube, but when the actual needle was coming through, he kept hitting the disc in my spine. Why couldn't I lie any more still? ELI WAS CROWNING during the procedure. It was the most intense pain of my life. I was told the doc would give me a tiny dose through the epidural, just enough to give me rest between contractions and lessen some of the pain. Before he got around the nurses and the bed and my mother however (three contractions later) the doc showed up, I pushed a fourth time and Eli's head came out. One more push and Eli was there, all 21in, 8 lbs 7.5oz of him. The doc had been in the room five mins. He was noisy and loud but quieted to squeeks and grumbling grunts by the time he had been cleaned up and given to my mother. No tearing, thank goodness, but the birth had been completely natural, no morphine or anything in my system for the second and final stages of labor and delivery.
Today I lolligagged around the house, took Abi to her dad at the ferry (she's spending a week and a half with him with one night in the middle back here for grandad's memorial), and napped. My entire body feels as though its been put through an old fashioned clothes ringer and is re learning how to function. Tylenol is my friend.
Tomorrow and friday I attempt to do some light sorting and packing of my old room upstairs, get mom and dad to move the necessities down to my current room and do the light laundry that has piled up. Much sleep and coddling my son will be done in the down times as well as getting my pay check and showing off the little boy to the work place before Abi comes home friday night.
Thats all for now, more to come as Elias Tadhg McKenna and I get to know eachother and Abigail Fae McKenna gets used to being a big sister.